Elon Musk

People still talking about the Tesla phone like it’s real 😭

hes def trying but like most trump imitators hes just got no game

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0csRUZ_l41Y

https://flux.community/matthew-sheffield/2022/11/elon-musk-ideology-libertarian-effective-altruism-far-right/

Relevant MuskChat on Silicon Valley, dumbass infantile libertarianism, and Twitter culture scolds who couldn’t exist were it not for all the users they claim to hate on the network they claim to hate

Barq's root beer has caffeine

o fuk

at least with Trump there was some strange sort of charisma there, like he was a WWE heel. Elon is not only pathetic he's also incredibly boring

yeah doing a trump isnt that easy elon thinks he has the juice cause he was the beneficiary of a well executed pr campaign, but this is a whole other thing

xxpost Yeah, "Barq's has Bite."

Trump legitimately funny though. No try-hard photos for this king

The Coca Cola company is not happy with me--that's okay, I'll still keep drinking that garbage.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 16, 2012

That's, like, Trump Classic though. The old formula.

Musk tells a colleague of mine that Apple is threatening Twitter’s standing in the App Store. Explains his string of tweets just now critiquing Apple. https://t.co/8FsbZENYRL

— Alex Heath (@alexeheath) November 28, 2022

Apple has also threatened to withhold Twitter from its App Store, but won’t tell us why

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 28, 2022

re: failure to make payroll, they have employees in like 30 countries and no meaningful payroll department https://www.businessinsider.com/twitter-payroll-finance-department-resigns-en-masse-under-elon-musk-2022-11.

they should just put a big bowl of cash by the door and you take some when you leave every day

Time to invent that phone!

he’s gotta put a camera in a hammer before that, sorry first come first served

this man is very silly, who knows if apple has actually threatened twitter with removal from the app store but if they did they did they certainly said why

they should just put a big bowl of cash by the door and you take some when you leave every day

Negotiating in public, always a good tactic. He doesn't seem to fully understand that nobody has to be on Twitter.

xp eh, it wouldn't be the first time. apple has history of either giving inscrutable reasons, or refusing to give reasons for rejections.

ironically prte-musk twitter did a much better job of designing an enforcable moderation policy and enacting it in a way that people understood than apple has ever done.

they didnt reject twitter tho, musks story is they called him up and threatened to do it and when he asked why they laughed and hung up, doesnt make much sense the whole point of a threat is to extract a concession

musk's story is a couple of engagement bait tweets that ask more questions than they answer

theyre nonsense

I kind of love the idea of some Apple execs calling him on speakerphone and being like "Nyaaaah, we're gonna kick you out of our app store! How you like THEM Apples? Hahahahaha!"

*muffled speakerphone laughter, fumbled hangup*

I mean Tim Apple just took a hatchet to Facebook’s entire bottom line and crying foul didn’t really change the outcome. But sure let’s try to fuck around and find out.

— Jason Goldman (@goldman) November 28, 2022

lol otm

based on the timeline what id guess happened is musk starts bitching about apple cutting back on advertising, someone asks him if apple has threatened twitters spot in the app store, they have not but it seems like a good thing to bitch about so musk says yes and then proceeded to bitch about it

which doesnt mean apple couldnt reach the conclusion that twitter is under moderated at some point, but seems unlikely that were there yet

nothing brings back the day to day numbing banal dumbness of the trump years harder than "tim apple"

Next version of iOS blocks all advertising on the Twitter app regardless of whether you use it or not

So getting kicked off the App Store probably would actually be a MAE under the merger agreement? Lol. Lmao.

— Quantian (@quantian1) November 28, 2022

Now we get to see if the bond indentures were drafted as carefully as Twitter’s contracts were.

— Quantian (@quantian1) November 28, 2022

iiuc this is saying twitter's loans could be contingent on not doing something like "getting kicked out of the app store"? that would be funny.

nothing brings back the day to day numbing banal dumbness of the trump years harder than "tim apple"

― Clay, Monday, November 28, 2022 2:20 PM (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

lmao tim apple goes in the greatest hits for sure

"All Boring had to do was bring its machine (named Godot) and start digging, former Maryland officials said. But months, and then years, passed. Maryland was waiting for Godot." pic.twitter.com/XOGQqeY9AS

— Eliot Brown (@eliotwb) November 28, 2022

And Marilyn LockHEED

Did you know Apple puts a secret 30% tax on everything you buy through their App Store? https://t.co/LGkPZ4EYcz

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 28, 2022

did Elon seriously pay $44,000,000,000 for Twitter without knowing this

shh its a secret

this might be giving him too much credit, but 1) of course he knows 2) that is a tweet designed to go viral with the help of people who think he's stupid. trump was good at that.

He will be talking himself into pulling the iOS app entirely by the end of the day

ALL HANDS ON DECK MEMO:

ALL TEAMS IMMEDIATELY REQUIRED TO DESIGN NEW OPERATING SYSTEM AND APP STORE, TO LAUNCH FOR CHRISTMAS ROLLOUT. APP STORE MUST BE EXTRA BASED, WAY COOLER THAN APPLE'S. BY THE TIME YOU FINISH READIN THIS YOU HAVE 15 MINUTES TO SEND ME SOME CODE.

lol yes

The dangerous thing about this guy is he thinks there is nothing that can happen to him he can't bully/buy his way out of, and so far he hasn't really been proven wrong.

He was notably unable to bully his way out of spending way too much money to acquire Twitter, Inc!

Yes, but he's pivoted to simply breaking it (because who cares, "X" will be the everything app), firing thousands of people, not paying whole countries' worth of other employees, and upending scores of other peoples' ability to promote their work. Didn't exactly learn his lesson.

It would be funny if Tim Cook replied to that Elon Musk tweet with something like "Sure, Elon, whatever. Now pay the $8, er I mean 30%"

this might be giving him too much credit, but 1) of course he knows 2) that is a tweet designed to go viral with the help of people who think he's stupid. trump was good at that.

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Monday, November 28, 2022 1:54 PM (thirty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

normally I'd say yeah but everything he's done since buying Twitter implies he really is that dumb

All these rich people know one another right? Are they laughing at him? Are they ignoring him?

NEW: Documents show why Apple pulling its Twitter ads is devastating for Elon Musk: In the first quarter of 2022, Apple was Twitter's top advertiser, accounting for nearly $50M in revenuehttps://t.co/h9TWjdwFoH

— Faiz Siddiqui (@faizsays) November 28, 2022

Ruh-roh

no pocky for kitty

meanwhile back in the streets:

A man and his son are in a car accident. The man is killed instantly. His son is rushed to the hospital. The surgeon says “I can’t operate on this patient, he is my son”. The car then crashes through the wall of the operating room, killing everyone. How is this possible? (Tesla)

— RiderToast, scab resident destroyer (@RiderToast) November 28, 2022