Elon Musk

said cocktail is not great for impulse control

Mr. Kaiden asked managers to verify that they knew certain employees and could confirm that they were human, according to three people and an internal document seen by The Times.

https://cdn3.whatculture.com/images/2014/09/Blade-Runner-Test.jpg

Lol: Twitter sent an HR email to every laid off employee acknowledging it's late getting people their separation agreements and release of claims. But the company messed up the BCC and it has become a reply-all catastrophe.

— Zoë Schiffer (@ZoeSchiffer) November 11, 2022

(some of the sabotage is probably coming from inside the building but outside his head)

xp Mmmm, boiled dog

If you type j-a-c-k, your number one thing should be Jack Dorsey. I mean, that’s probably what you’re looking for, you know?

He's clearly unaware of film Twitter's "top 5 Nicholson performances"

xp

Agree that Elon being on the ole Adderall train makes sense. A lot of Trump in him, who also clearly pops (some 80s version of) prescription speed. Have known folks who fuck with it and I think long term abuse def has some brain rotting potential. Most likely because you’re sleeping 3 hours a night.

But, y’know, that’s just one of his problems.

xpost Sounds like someone turned the algorithm they had for "jack" off.

(that works better said out loud btw)

"The algorithm doesn't have jack" is a bit more straightforward.

it is! thx :-)

xp not really gonna speculate w/r/t uppers other than to observe that twitter really does suddenly seem to have disturbingly strong "working in a restaurant" energy.

https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/340/024/408.jpg

this has to be intentional, right? there's no way this is well-meaning or some sort of radical business galaxy brain shit; he must be intending to tank the company, though i don't know or care enough to try to discern why.

― “Cheeky cheeky!” she trills, nearly demolishing a roadside post (forksclovetofu), Friday, November 11, 2022 3:13 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

I had the same moment yesterday! I just can't tell if he's a lord of chaos cackling from his evil lair about destroying a company or if he's some 15-year-old burnout mumbling "yo, what the fuuuuuck" as the consequences of his braindead decisions compound.

lag∞n's expanation is occam's razor on this one: EM enjoys what twitter does when it roasts others, he wanted to tweak it so it didn't also do this to him, so far it has tweaked him, on a raft of pills and no sleeo he is breaking it as he looks for the magic off-switch for the elon-tweaking

to the evident extent he disdains own 1 x trillion reply guys as not the acclaim he deserves as a poaster he does in fact sorta kinda "understand" twitter, reply guys are not it (and he's not a poaster)

🤣

https://t.co/5vciyaXCwo pic.twitter.com/uU0axDu9BJ

— Osita Nwanevu (@OsitaNwanevu) November 11, 2022

https://i.imgur.com/yTgbBWO.png

It's a pretty unique situation. Warren Buffett would, I'm guessing, keep a distance from all he invests in.

Everyone who left twitter: it's your loss. I'm having a great time.

*twittermigration increases*

https://maxread.substack.com/p/whats-going-to-happen-to-twitter

Max always gets it.

Journalists are overall happier, but the quality of their work is worse because they’re no longer afraid of anonymous accounts spoonerizing their names.

rax mead

The other option is this carries on till Elon Musk collapses of a heart attack.

He'll be the first recipient of the Tesla heart implant

https://media.tenor.com/IQBhkaosCYEAAAAM/heart-fire.gif

it's also compatible with yr Tesla vehicle's engine

Starting to wonder if the financiers of this deal are gonna have a legal case against him for all this

prob not worth the trouble theyll just cut their losses and move on

The heart also makes a fart noise when you have an infarction.

this fuckin guy

Huh, so @elonmusk was wise to Elizabeth Holmes before @JohnCarreyrou?

That's an interesting claim, given that Musk appeared with Holmes at the McCain Institute in April 2015, just six months before the WSJ's first bombshell story. https://t.co/07SX41xI1w

— E.W. Niedermeyer (@Tweetermeyer) November 12, 2022

Receipts: https://t.co/BjZPFPnoS8https://t.co/PBQe1PrDu2

— E.W. Niedermeyer (@Tweetermeyer) November 12, 2022

hes going down posting

Very smart to antagonize a U.S. senator with jurisdiction over your industry the day after his party just secured a majority in his chamber. pic.twitter.com/zP7XrAYZdd

— isi baehr-breen (its pronounced ‘izzy’) (@isaiah_bb) November 13, 2022

Lol! keep digging, buddy

And why does your pp have a mask!?

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 13, 2022

For a second I thought that was another childish dick joke.

Elon gives me very “low information voter” vibe.

It’s too perfect pic.twitter.com/9KemlikwTG

— Hannah Rose Woods (@hannahrosewoods) November 13, 2022

i will stop being mean to Elon for $5 million, let's negotiate

elon's mom also told me that

i know reddit got there long before this but

https://en.vogue.me/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/maye-musk-fb.jpghttps://static.wikia.nocookie.net/enfuturama/images/f/ff/Carol_Miller_-_Official_Character_Promo.jpg

cant be bothered to calculate which of her sons this makes elon

(it's igner)

reminder that Elon Musk and his ex-wife Talulah Riley texted back-and-forth about buying Twitter (before he publicly offered to)...because Babylon Bee got suspended lolhttps://t.co/4Mv3zvqTK7 pic.twitter.com/LKCwCecn1s

— Matt Binder (@MattBinder) November 13, 2022

"Please do do something to fight woke-ism"

electric wheels spin frantically in elon's head, then burst into flame

Just putting Markey's answer here.

One of your companies is under an FTC consent decree. Auto safety watchdog NHTSA is investigating another for killing people. And you’re spending your time picking fights online. Fix your companies. Or Congress will. https://t.co/lE178gPRoM

— Ed Markey (@SenMarkey) November 13, 2022

This is gibberish. Someone played a trick on him to get him to tweet this.

Btw, I’d like to apologize for Twitter being super slow in many countries. App is doing >1000 poorly batched RPCs just to render a home timeline!

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 13, 2022

lol

be a real tragedy if SpaceX lost some government contracts

https://external-preview.redd.it/H4-McW0A-fGjgBX-GnRE7Msh5WvKNapdCpR9p5JlKO0.jpg

try again:

https://i.imgur.com/EBfsFTT.png

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Fhe9S5aVUAAIZAg?format=jpg&name=medium