marketing of masculinity

Beardsturbation

https://livebearded.com/

why are male grooming products always some shade of brown/black/grey? why do they all smell like turpentine? do men hate pretty colours and nice smells?

speaking of which, Randy Quaid should be playing Karl Marx these days

https://iv1.lisimg.com/image/24779376/681full-randy-quaid.jpg

xpost have you smelled most men? a lot of them do seem to enjoy smelling like a combination of mildew, mahogany, and onion rings

not most of them, but enough to get the point, yes

personally I'm more attracted to men who smell like flowers

"attracting thirsty cuties in line for organic lemonade" is a scene from my worst nightmare, which would obviously take place at a farmer's market

the only scents i catch lately that are appealing are like really warm herbalish sweet patchoulis, i think i've only encountered women wearing them.

“EPIC FIT” like you’re out slaying grendel in these farmer’s market shorts

Beards. I am growing an AMish beard. What does it do for me? Will it make me feel any different? Does it change me to have a scarglemuff-face?
Am I more A MAN with a beard and is that a good thing? (Thank God this is not facebook or that comment would have gotten me in fb jail)

a pharaoh beard grants immortality iirc

maybe amish beard grants barn raising skillz? pls tell us if you can raise a barn after establishing the full amish.

is the beard the phallus of the face?

Beards are reactionary. Shaving is praxis.

"is the beard the phallus of the face?" Not unless the pubic frump is the beard of the pubic mountain!

I hate having to shave - not for the way it looks, but the way it feels after 3 days of growth.

beards are reactionary *or* revolutionary - bearded moderates are phonies

Halfway, interesting.

I feel like I have been in a 35-year-long cycle of violence with my face. I hate shaving, yes, but I also having itchy scraggly unpleasant facial hair that abrades my wife.

Further, I don't like the way my beard grows. It isn't vigorous or consistent. I get a mustache and goatee and sideburny things pretty quickly, but my cheeks and jawline remain patchy and sparse. Because I don't like the look of the goatee (unflattering, plus possible shady GenX cultural associations), my choices are a Don Johnson-style permastubble, or shaving. It is a cruel trick of fate.

but the way it feels after 3 days of growth.

I do it in the shower every morning, never have to suffer with this unless I'm camping/road tripping

i hate having hair perpetually grow on my face. i'm also trapped in a horrible cycle with it. i get fed up, shave it all, and then let it grow for a couple weeks so it's in that really uncomfortable zone where people aren't sure if your life has gone wrong (it has) or if you're just being really lazy (i am) or if you're trying to go for a "beard" (sometimes i am, sort of).

i like the andy the grasshopper method of shaving in the shower every morning, but unfortunately *sad violin begins to play*, unfortunately, i just really love to take afternoon baths

that really uncomfortable zone where people aren't sure

Richard Ford described this facial phase as 'looking like a wretched sex offender'

And I use an electric shaver after trying a straight razor, so shower shaving is out.

I've got dark (now greying) hair but red (now white) facial hair, so even if I could stand to grow it for a few weeks, it would take much longer to look like a beard and make me look like I'm in my 70s anyway.

xp i call the top part of it the "teenstache"

No other great apes have to deal with moustache trouble like us. Only beards.

Yet Munkees...
https://i.imgur.com/h6VKF.jpg

DIABEETUS

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FgUr-DjXEAItiy1.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/tQGJHv4.jpg

lmao

The Gandalf™

there are some anti-abortion billboards around here that say "REAL MEN LOVE BABIES". i have thoughts. lots of them. not sure if i'll be able to get them in writing. too many thoughts.

I didn't see the movies, but I don't remember a Mrs. Gandalf...

https://i.imgur.com/8fsN4ff.jpg

https://www.benchmade.com/products/4010-cstm?

Got an ad for this today, I like the new cleaver-y blade trend for chef's knifes but this is so tacticool

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0574/8041/3232/files/STATION_KNIFE_02A_768x.png

Perfect for chopping carrots or doing wetwork with Seal Team 6.

so if marketing cooking equipment as extreme tactical military cowboy survival shit gets men to do more cooking - how do we get them to do more cleaning? light saber mops?

it won't, of course, get men to do more cooking; it'll just get them to buy more shit.

Looking at it again I really like that blade shape (and will have to look around for a non-DEVGRU approved option) but the bolster looks all wrong for properly choking up on the knife.

Hee https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=de-Yylorsow

....i'll take the whip

what? no, no, i look like a woman but i'm actually (whispers) _transgender_

no i mean a trans _woman_, a transgender _woman_

what? no look "trans woman" doesn't mean i was afab and transitioned to being a man...

AFAB. AY-FAHB. Not ACAB. Assigned female at birth. Although also ACAB.

Let's just say yes. Yes I have a penis. If I tell you I have a penis, can I have that whip?

Look. Just... give me the whip. I'll... I'll give you the idol. You give me the whip. OK?

Um. Idol. Idol. Uh... I have a CD of Rebel Yell. Does that count? It plays fine, I swear. Don't worry about the scratches. And! It comes with an obi!

...sure. That's "Obi" as in "Obi-wan".

Here you go, manly man-type men, Christmas is sorted.

https://www.beautifuldeer.com/products/tactical-christmas-stocking-2?variant=113484&fbclid=IwAR3L4OKB9f_DoOE3U_MlRqPQJaznw4f4CI5Vkme2sxeHk1l6jH3saCQxJ3U_aem_AUBkpF_6NnVzu1PMyRtXWZbHjKDUaK6pSoew9w8VgW9VuLPprwH0zbHmuFJ-c7rXOqzL91RSbzdw2yVFmmcA9yWt

my axe has a smaller, sharper axe hidden in the blade

Axe-ception

look let's talk _classic_ marketing of masculinity

let's talk about charles bronson's adds for MANDOM perfume

oh what's that? you think perfume is girly? well, take it up with charles bronson, friendo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chnXo839XVs

at least one of these ads was directed by nobuhiko obayashi, who made _hausu_, btw.

must be fun to wander the desert with a mirror shining on your face

recently encountered something that was advertised as "if tesla were a wallet"

"...my ass would be on fire"

wondering if there should be a separate thread for "marketing of fascism"

i was going down to the convenience store with some friends and they had this stuff called "black rifle coffee". which i immediately got confused with "black rock coffee", which is a local franchised (i think) coffee chain that's, as far as i can tell, not fascist

i've seen their stuff on grocery store shelves, but this... this berry mocha canned espresso stood out to me because it's so _exceptionally ugly_

like there's an eagle and an american flag and excuse me it's _canned berry mocha espresso_

i know there's a long history of this stuff in christian culture, where a lot of it gets kept off in its own corner, in the christian bookstores, and some of it is stuff you see in mainstream entertainment. "davey and goliath", when i was young, you saw a lot of "davey and goliath". it wasn't _good_, but it was _christian_, so it was considered acceptable. this "black rifle" stuff is coffee of reaction, it's made for people who think starbucks is "woke" and don't want to drink it. coffee for people who subscribe to _soldier of fortune_.

soldier of fortune, Mack Bolan the Executioner, stuff like that, that is pretty hypermasculine, so I guess it does fit here.

you know what is not, in fact, hypermasculine? _canned berry mocha espresso_. sorry boys, butch it up however you like, but there is nothing remotely military or paramilitary about canned berry mocha espresso. i mean it sounds good. i'd probably drink a can of that if it was cheap and not overtly fascist. it's just not, like, too strong for woke queer femmes or whatever.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Rifle_Coffee_Company

theres one of these down the road from my kid's school, v normal business selling gun coffee

Coffee is horrible. I might actually like it better if it tasted like gun oil.

it's made for people who think starbucks is "woke" and don't want to drink it. coffee for people who subscribe to _soldier of fortune_.

I think Kyle Rittenhouse was wearing a Black Rifle Coffee shirt during or after he shot people in Kenosha, which made Black Rifle distance themselves from him and caused hand-wringing in MAGA circles over how committed to the cause the beanery was.

Black Rock Coffee, on the other hand, feels like Starbucks with red-state aesthetics (something that fascinates me, how coffee/beer/etc in those areas present themselves as both new and fresh without signaling 'not from here'). I've only been to one, in Bend; liked it a lot.

Black Rock's branding is _vaguely_ Hugo Boss but not in a way that codes "fash" or anything. But yeah, the constant struggle of business conglomerates to not be overtly political is real. I mean I have feelings about capitalism but sometimes people just want to sell consumer goods and services and not have to deal with conspiracy theories that one's corporate logo is somehow "Satanist" (which is to say that none of this is a remotely new thing).