ok lets all shit our pants to something new: post 2005 horror film thread

about the only funny part is Kadeem Hardison getting bitten by Murphy and slowly turning into a vampire and having various body parts fall off and someone yelling "YO YOU BETTER DO A QUICK DICK CHECK"

that was the only laugh

I laughed at "flippery shit" but it was a long time ago

SPEAK NO EVIL (2022)… pretty decent

― LaMDA barry-stanners (||||||||), Saturday, 17 September 2022 22:39 (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

this left me even more bummed than Martyrs did but it's extremely contrived in its nihilism

ffs

After years of trying to bring his remake to life, The Northman’s Robert Eggers finally has the backing needed to create his own version of Nosferatu. Officially in production with Focus Features, the film will star It’s Bill Skarsgård and The Idol’s Lily-Rose Depp.

...

“It’s fallen apart twice ... " Eggers previously told IndieWire. “And I just wonder if Murnau’s ghost is telling me, like, you should stop.”

Yeah, no shit. This is like when Del Toro was wasting his time trying to make "Frankenstein." I don't care who's making it, who needs it? I still haven't seen the new "Suspiria" for the same reason. The only thing worse than all those slick big budget remakes of '70s and '80s horror movies is remakes of things that have been remade so many times they've been reduced to tropes and cliches. Though tbf I guess if ever there was a genre that has made great art despite/out of tropes and cliches, it's horror.

It's not Nosferatu, it's NosferaTWO, the sequel

suspiria is a pretty thorough reinvention of the source material

i liked it! i can recognize why others found it unbearably pretentious. but it's hardly a retread of the original

I never made it all the way through either version of Suspiria but having been to Berlin, I liked the atmosphere of the remake.

I can't imagine an Eggers remake of Nosferatu being any good unless he uses Willem Dafoe.

Who, of course, famously played Nosferatu already.

xpost Yeah, so I heard. So just make a new movie, then! I think the same thing when someone covers a song but changes basically everything but the lyrics.

let's get physical

Eggers’ theatrical take on Nosferatu launched his film career, I’m interested in his version

i think retelling older stories in deeply idiosyncratic ways is an established storytelling tradition since the dawn of fucking time

He should remake Nadja

finally saw pearl and while i loved x i preferred pearl a great deal. just my kind of technicolor phantasmagoria of camp + maybe one of the best lead performances i've ever seen

mia goth screaming "what did you see!! what did i do wrong!! why did you change!!!" at the projectionist hit a little close to home

Mia was fucking masterful

the part at the end where she's slowly stalking her sister-in-law made my skin crawl

Feel like the film fell into some other category outside of horror, but I liked it and Mia Goth was fully committed and fantastic.

I like the idea of Nosferatu having his own story because the biggest fault for me with Murnau's version is that Count Orlok really deserved better than being another version of Dracula. I think there were some comics that gave him his own stories.

Same goes for the vampire from London After Midnight, give him a story where he's actually a vampire. And keep the sidekick too.

barbarian was entertaining but the first 30 minutes ruled so much that i was sad when they pivoted from that (probably unsustainable) vibe

i am definitely not a general audience because they could've just wandered down dark and increasingly fucked up underground tunnels and staircases and i would've been rapt. put me in the mood of those fmv horror games from the early '90s where you're compelled to make only the most doomed choices

I enjoyed Barbarian throughout but the first 30 minutes were pretty special. I guess it's kind of like The Descent. that movie could have been just about being trapped in a cave, and I woulda been fine, and then they introduce bat-like predators and it's just a turn that I didn't need...even though I still love the movie.

That first section was great and set it up to be far more interesting than it turned out to be (which is to say, another goddam troglodyte monster). I didn't like Don't Breathe, particularly, but this movie borrowed a lot from that movie, except the surprise reveal in that movie is truly fucked up and this movie is ... just another goddam troglodyte monster.

In fact, it bummed me out so much to have paid to see it in the theaters that it's kept me from seeing "Pearl" (which I know is better, because it has be).

i liked the idea of a kidnapper secretly living in an underground lair in someone's actual home for 40 years

it went into Smile thinking it'd be a middling affair and I liked it/was actually scared by it! it's weird because it is very, very obviously indebted to It Follows, and I found myself anticipating and successfully predicting all of the beats, but it outright didn't matter, as its execution was so nightmarish. nothing original about it, but they committed to the concept, the actors were game, and ultimately you couldn't help but empathize with the lead character.

with that being said, if you've experienced trauma, or have a rough time with any depiction of suicide, you might want to skip or go in prepared for this one...I am not affected by either and I started to have a spike in anxiety around the 45-60 minute mark.

thought smile ruled. just the right amount of visual invention and mean-spiritedness keeping that bad vibe afloat and sending it home, god i loved the ending

Yeah, I was surprised how much I enjoyed it even if I don't want to see it again due to what it did to my anxiety throughout.

i wasn't reminded so much of it follows as much as the other v obvious comparison the ring (and the filmmaking reminded me of the u.s. ring 2 which is a huge compliment from me personally), though a trauma-forward version of it, which some people may read that and sigh and say "another horror movie about trauma wow" but ... idk, it pretty much made that tired trope wired, whole movie is a horrible, suffocating atmosphere that you can't escape

ppl have criticized its overreliance on jumpscares but i gotta say outside of maybe three of them they were almost perversely not actual jumpscares

the ones that were were also done effectively by diverting your attention to something else by playing on a genre expert's preconceived expectations

the first big one outright got me, hard.

thank god for that comma jfc

lol

Not new, but post-2005— we'd never seen THE VVITCH until last night. We both thought it was kind of awful and predictable, but that Harvey Scrimshaw and Anya Taylor-Joy were good in their roles.

Terrifier 2 was gory disturbing fun but there was zero reason for it to be 2.5 hours (other than it was an uncut director's cut so it was filled w/ shit that should have been edited).

props for the director getting metal kid's room right. not only did he have King Diamond/Mercyful Fate/Slayer posters, he literally had a poster of a Slayer/Testament/Carcass tour that I went to from 2016.

Just watched Resurrection, which is a bit of a mess but Rebecca Hall and Tim Roth are both great. A lot going on conceptually, not all of it connects (for me anyway) but quite a ride.

lmao the munsters is fucking amazing

Could someone help out, I'm trying to find a film from a very dim memory of its trailer.

A young girl in a barn in period costume, some sort of pilgrim-era perhaps, and a weird clanky contraption, like metal tumbleweed almost, that rolls past maybe patrolling the area to protect the people of a village?

Sorry I know that's super vague.

November(2017) ?

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6164502/

Amazing. Well remembered, thank you!

Watching The Conjuring 2 this afternoon.

thought _smile_ ruled. just the right amount of visual invention and mean-spiritedness keeping that bad vibe afloat and sending it home, god i loved the ending

yeah, the Chekhov's cat, as soon as they didn't show her finding the cat and she got to the kid's birthday, I knew what was coming. In a way that made it worse, cos there was the hope that it would be a train set after all, before the kid's face gave it away. knowing nothing going in helped a lot with me, other than the brief time I was exposed to the trailers.

the music was so good!

i legit can't remember the last time a movie almost sent me into a panic attack. but this one got close.

hence why i call it my "favorite movie of this year that I loved but never want to see again"

the music was so good!

I just saw the trailer to M3GAN and I think Kim going to be laughing for the rest of the year

The new Hellraiser (streaming on Hulu) is pretty good though the heroine is seriously unlikable IMO.

This looks hilarious.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRb4U99OU80