queen elizabeth II

Hounslow pic.twitter.com/tnHmUGakHE

— Nev Wilson (@NevWilson) September 12, 2022

sharpen the contradictions: ever more marmalade in the parks, the only king i recognise is king rat

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1f/Rat_King_Illustration.svg/1200px-Rat_King_Illustration.svg.png

Sharpening the contradictions

I'm struggling to believe the intro I have just written to a story but it's true..

"Morrisons supermarket has turned off the beeps at its checkouts in a mark of respect to the Queen."

🤯

— Andrew Ellson (@andrewellson) September 12, 2022

I can't remember who was telling me that this has resulted in massive queues in the self-scan sections as nobody can tell what they have and haven't scanned, RIP

some

good queueing practice, for those that fancied getting a sight of the mouldering corpse, lying in a state

Football is going ahead this weekend as a mark of respect for her majesty the queen!

When I die, please don't bring a 'Great Job!' balloon to my wake pic.twitter.com/1y2tHAjXG7

— Aisling Marron (@aislingmarron) September 11, 2022

Ok

perhaps the most unprovoked self snitching i've ever seen on here pic.twitter.com/4AHgChYjUX

— pez says up the workers (@periuspb) September 13, 2022

oh god help me i can't stop hearing "am I paedo too?" to the tune of "Dreamer"

He was not found guilty but charged with having sex with a seventeen-year-old, god I'm guilty of that, am I a pedo?… https://t.co/oO6xi7d1Rh

— John Healey (@JohnColonelputt) September 12, 2022

If that isn’t a textbook example of fucking around and finding out…

did QAnon post at all since she died? I'm not saying she was trolling the colonies but what if the Q stood for Queen and it was her all along? :D

A lot of Q accounts now tweet only in Russian

has the worldwide drug trade stopped yet? or will it take a week or so?

a: she died ("died") on lyndon larouche's birthday 🤔
b: both died ("died") at the age of 96 🧐

@Leanne61639007 Hello Leanne, if you are staying with us for 7 nights starting Friday you are welcome to leave your belongings in your lodge and access your accommodation again from 10:00am Tuesday.
Thanks, Demi

— Center Parcs UK (@CenterParcsUK) September 13, 2022

even the foodbanks are closing, some wag posted "let them eat wake"

Rocking up to the queen’s funeral with a large nachos and mixed tango ice blast https://t.co/IkMobNsvBb

— hannah strong (@thethirdhan) September 13, 2022

Fin du cinema

In celebration of The Queen's life, the BBC has said that it will air Paddington and Paddington 2.

The first film will air on BBC One this Saturday and the second on Monday, the day of The Queen's funeral.

— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) September 13, 2022

Weird times and all but this connection between Paddington and The Queen is so so bizarre..

"@Mark_Cassell: Hahaha!
"@HannahKincade: I love Paddington bear, but the new cgi Paddington is some scary ass shit. pic.twitter.com/jqX8BpW5RJ""

— The Dead Can Write (@TheDeadCanWrite) September 28, 2014

i'm thinking somebody reasonably smart noticed at some point that the Paddington movies played very well with cupcake fascists - nb this isn't strictly the movies's fault - and figured it was a good brand to associate the monarchy with

also something something 2012 Olympics i'm sure

I guess.

Meanwhile..

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/sep/13/king-charles-staff-given-redundancy-notice-during-church-service-for-queen

They were just a starter staff

thread for KING CHARLES III (regnal name george vii)

Paddington not even a British subject ffs

Paddington being a royalist has been canon since this 1986 book

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51ADlI0llkL._SX486_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

'Rolling Stone' reports that Kanye West has decided to settle all outstanding beefs following the death of Queen Elizabeth II.

wife's breast cancer appointment cancelled Monday, which means all breast cancer appointments are cancelled on Monday. She has a new one in a month. I'm sure she'll be fine, but that's a wait that will almost certainly cost lives. This is an obscenity, in the name of the monarchy

— matt (@matted1) September 13, 2022

@GrieveWatch Vue cinemas will be open on Monday for the funeral. Only the funeral. Vueneral, if you will. pic.twitter.com/Aq4Z828Zfg

— mr blobby fan account (@duckpyjamas) September 13, 2022

5 fucking hours? Nolan has gone too far this time

are they covering the wake and all?

IM:HMQE 1 was good, but kind of dated

I assume a lot of this is due to the bank holiday being "well your employer may or may not force you to work it BUT all the schools will be closed" - not the Vueneral though.

odds on Brian May playing on the roof of the Abbey?

An interview with the Nigerian-American prof on her story.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/sep/14/uju-anya-queen-nigeria-colonialism-empire?

I hope we don't have to wait so long for Bezos to die.

I like the way she has handled this, totally unapologetic and no whining self-pity about getting dragged and locked out of twitter.

Imagine the convos you will get

Government warns of 30-hour queues to see Queen's coffin https://t.co/VH6rUQQVcy

— BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews) September 14, 2022

UK to population: "pssst, wanna see a dead body?"

Well it'll take a bunch of twats out of circulation for 30 hours, so all good.

Hearing someone describing BBC News coverage as Mourn Hub has made my day.

— chrisbates (@christhemarxist) September 14, 2022

Wouldn't it be easier to drive the coffin around for a few days so everyone can see it? Take it to Barking and Edmonton or wherever too, let all her loyal subjects join in. In fact they could spend the next couple of months trundling it around the country as the cadaver decays and starts to seep out the cracks, while the Beeb continue their wall-to-wall coverage as a distraction from imminent mass starvation.

YouMourn

trundling it around the country ... imminent mass starvation

Might be the opportunity for a two-birds-one-stone solution here...thinking...thinking...

I literally can’t believe this isn’t satire pic.twitter.com/Uv4uYKiwB8

— Aíne (@ainemagu) September 14, 2022

I wont a ham burger mate!!! Oi! This is wank!

— wint (@dril) September 14, 2022

Out of respect for the Royal Family all Life Support machines in the Ilford South Hospital have been turned off

— Jimothy Baker (@JimothyBaker) September 14, 2022

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-62900500

Will log on.