thread for KING CHARLES III (regnal name george vii)

well parks are nice

his type environmentalism is like Attenborough's, all about eugenics and thinning out the population - "they breed like rats". He talks a lot about food waste while his servant ends up boiling 43 eggs if he decides on a whim to go on a 3 hour morning walk.

lol perfect

Did unperson divorce his curvy Colombian wife or did she just pick up his shitty sense of humour along with her citizenship application

How about a revolution instead

Sky News just challenged the public to overthrow the monarchy pic.twitter.com/QyAiceIDVk

— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) September 12, 2022

xp

"You can still indulge in silly speculation while sober, xyzzz. Ain't against the rules."

Sounded like the kind of chat you'd be saying while drunk or brain dead.

Sounded like the kind of chat you'd be saying while drunk or brain dead.

...if you lacked an imagination, maybe! :-P

Where is the assumption that William might be better coming from?

William seems to more capable of following his grandmother's example of never saying or doing anything interesting in public ever, and therefore remaining a popular 'apolitical' figure. Some of the royal reportage in Private Eye painted him as quite a ruthless and effective operator behind the scenes, as opposed to Charles who dithers and equivocates, e.g. they credited William with making sure that Andrew was fully cast out into the wilderness when the Queen was more inclined to be forgiving.

the uk press have been sitting on stories about will's alleged infidelity for years now, so wills' ramrod compliance may be lubricated by a fear of being thrust onto tabloid front pages under straplines about his bedroom preferences

Yeah seems like a bit of a shoogly peg for the institution

sad to see royalty forced into a prostate position like that

A far cry from the previously dominant position.

i think he's just really anal about details

just a square peg in a round hole I guess

I confess that this american is (with some guilt) delighted with the lol opportunities presented by KCIII. Sorry, UK, really I am, but also good god the tragicomedy. . .

I mean we gave you Trump (also sorry about that), surely it was your turn.

tabloid features from the 80s make the best heads of state, trust us

lol i fucking told you

'Judging the right moment for a joke is always tricky...'

My latest cartoon for tomorrow's @Telegraph

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter to receive my unseen cartoons: https://t.co/JNDhrYJMFH pic.twitter.com/AhAJmld9TB

— Matt Cartoons (@MattCartoonist) September 12, 2022

that's the power you wield when you are the UK's richest sketcher of cock-noses

nashwan otm, William will be more palatable to the average subject (because he is more palatable to the papers, as evidence: the last decade of papers)

move fast! break things!

King Charles’s staff given redundancy notice during church service for Queen

Exclusive by ⁦@PippaCrerar⁩ and ⁦@ccdavies⁩ https://t.co/nAcSngcBAI

— Owen Gibson (@owen_g) September 13, 2022

psyched for some wild stories from disgruntled former employees

this man hates pens

How is this real? How is this public?! pic.twitter.com/dZlsNOVREI

— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) September 13, 2022

He is going to machine gun the rest of the Royals

he has wanted this for 60+ years and already he hates it *so much*

*prepares the popcorn*

imagine taking the King to a fucking employment tribunal, you'd end up having to pay his legal fees and 10 years of your paltry wages back to him and then get birched for having the effrontery

maybe charles will take the monarchy to a tribunal for constructive dismissal

Lol, what a loser.

Wonder if support for the Monarchy will collapse, he clearly can't keep his mouth shut.

doesnt exactly have the common touch does he

His Majesty is not used to getting ink on his fingers, and it's ruined his entire bloody day.

You can see exactly why his mother stayed in post till her literal death, can’t you

Amazing, simply amazing.

Camilla doing a much better job at this stuff

So the Duchy of Lancaster passes to Charles, and that of Cornwall to Prince William. Did they observe proper protocol, which is to pass the duchy on the left-hand side?

He probably thinks hating pens makes him seem down to earth

xpost This generation
Rules the nation

Ps the amount of people going WELL HE’S JUST LOST HIS MUM as though the guy didn’t literally give interviews saying he was “running out of time”.

All true heads of state use Sharpies.

Fucking pens, how do they work?

the most amazing video I've watched this year

I was working at a recruitment company in Piccadilly when the Queen Mother died, and even before her funeral, the staff were on the phone asking if we had vacancies for cooks, dressers, gardeners, you name it. They were all about to be made homeless. https://t.co/zLSH592cXW

— Elvis Buñuelo (@Mr_Considerate) September 13, 2022

The Duke of York will be a Counsellor of State for the new king. pic.twitter.com/qZPdhjwUjM

— PoliticsJOE (@PoliticsJOE_UK) September 14, 2022

You know what, this is a fair point. Does Charles not bleed? does he not weep at the moonlight? Does his heart not soar when listening to Coldplay? He is one of Us, a flawed, scared sack of bones trying to make the best of existence on this rainy fascist island https://t.co/XKs34NkeD7

— Y (@tinshh) September 14, 2022

King Charles, died 2022 by literally not being able to breathe for being criticised

I'm curious about how the 2 videos of Charles looking grumpy got released. Leaked by a disgruntled member of staff?

can't have 24-7 adoring rolling coverage if you keep binning the material

also i'm guessing there wasn't a need until now to have a full-time tantrum editor keeping a watchful eye, his mum was a seasoned professional who self-edited like a beast -- while her son is a self-important crank weirdo who thinks he knows everything and badly wants to be as beloved but is also angrily terrified he never will be (clue: he never will be)

i also think there's a strong dose of "at last i can be myself!" -- he's spent like forty years biting his lip to not blurt -- and he's discovering this is not going to play at all well, the uninterrupted performance of low-key naturalness is harder work than it looked! turns out laurens van der post doesn't prepare one!

its true the queen was a real pro she encountered tens of thousands of people in her role and seemingly all of them were like she was gracious she asked me about myself and seemed to actually care credit where its due

#realengland

I thought there may be a code of silence among the protection officers which would protect Andrew. After seeing this I’m sure they’ll be happy to dish the dirt.

They do turn a blind eye to vices, verified by someone whose close protection officers ignored but were happy to facilitate huge amounts of shagging around, who joked about it in a FB thread started by one of my friends (who knows the person well). It was shocking to read at the time!

I'm good friends with a guy who was a protection officer - Salman Rushdie was his main claim to fame - he certainly has no code of silence in the pub after a few jars!

Everyone needs to vent about work, especially when your principal is throwing you under the bus on some other writer’s FB.

Andrew's nickname could equally have been applied to the author of The Satanic Verses... or so I've been told. My friend's main problem with Rushdie though was that he thought he was a shit writer!

Randy Salman gives WWE vibes tho. Fatwah Man Randy Salman.

No, not that one, the one in the video.

Ah I see!

i feel like they should bump him up the order of succession. "Andrew the Cunt" is a proper old school Carolingian king name

Andrew's nickname could equally have been applied to the author of The Satanic Verses... or so I've been told. My friend's main problem with Rushdie though was that he thought he was a shit writer!

Invite him to our next ILB meet up please

Any move to remove him from the line of succession will need buy-in from the other 14 countries that have Charles as their monarch - you'd hope that a few of them would take the opportunity to slough the whole thing off.

As a Canadian I heartily endorse this line of thinking.

Is the Bermuda Triangle still a thing?

🇬🇧🇺🇸 On advice of His Majesty’s Government, and at the invitation of The President of the United States, The King and Queen will undertake a State Visit to the United States of America. Their Majesties’ programme will celebrate the historic connections and the modern bilateral… pic.twitter.com/DY1CltXzVo

— The Royal Family (@RoyalFamily) March 31, 2026

also: No Kings -> invites a king

@ ICE : these people don't have passports, do your thing

xxpost
very much a thing in UFO circles, where it has evolved to be a giant undersea alien factory that constructs UFOs & crews them with biological robots that it grows, the "greys". if you get anywhere near it, it destroys you with special alien tech!

This royal reptilian visit would be a great time for them to reveal themselves then

Charles, of course, has been playing the diplomatic game for decades. He knows how soft words turn away wrath and, having met Trump several times on the president’s British visits, he also knows how to flatter him, which appears to be the way to his simple heart. Elizabeth II was a past mistress of distraction, remaining purse-lipped, or rooting about for something in her handbag if things were getting really sticky.

https://www.theguardian.com/news/ng-interactive/2026/apr/04/can-the-king-tame-trump-state-visit

amazing stuff wow we really don't pay them enough bring back the divine right

It's hilarious the queen would do that though. Kind of Columbo-esque.

She can table a meeting, she can root about in her handbag.

the handbag was much more than that - https://royalcentral.co.uk/uk/queen/the-queens-secret-handbag-code-77573/