ok lets all shit our pants to something new: post 2005 horror film thread

I watched the Conjuring a couple of nights ago - the ending felt kind of limp, the exorcism wasn't that difficult?

Film's kinda overrated, it's boilerplate Catholic guilt horror. Sequel is far better

Saloum on Shudder was very enjoyable. It’s by the same guy who did the Senegalese cop show Sakho & Mangane for Netflix.

Seen so many horror trailers at cinema last week, everything looks competent and professional but nothing grabbing me at all. Is Two Witches any good?

Have you seen Barbarian? People love that one.

Two Witches ... is that, like Hellbender, another mother-daughter movie about, um, two witches?

I'll keep Barbarian in mind but I generally feel wary about the hyped ones if the trailer isn't grabbing me at all. Still haven't seen Titane, Bliss and Possum and some of them are getting a bit old now. These days I want a bit more allure and glamour, ideally artsploitation.

My reservation about Two Witches is it might be overdoing the scary face thing clumsily. I've went on at length about how much I like scary faces but I'm not sure about this one.

Earwig looks pretty good

I really ought to keep track of cinematographers more because a good one looks downright heroic now

At this point, I'm tired of possession or demon films. Haunt films are ok if they're not a visual-only "no rules" affair.

Zombie films only acceptable if they're approaching from an interesting angle (a la The Cured. Romero formula and winky comedy formula are played).

Seems like there are pretty frequently good zombie films from new angles, even if those are still sometimes hit or miss. That Native American zombie movie (great idea, ok movie), One Cut of the Dead, Train to Busan (which I never made it through, but which people love) ...

Possession films are often pretty boring, imo, because they are so tied in to theology - do non-Catholics exist in the world of movie demons and exorcisms and evil nuns and whatnot? - but for some reason I feel like haunt movies have been explored less, or often only by way of spooky kid movies.

Train to Busan is great

Okay, managed to go into Barbarian totally blind, per recommendations. It starts off pretty smart and well made, then it goes off the rails in a stupid and lazy way. Ways, really. There are a lot of similar movies I liked better and still didn't like that I would recommend over this, but I won't spoil any surprises this may have in store by mentioning them.

Men, nice building atmosphere of dread and the movie is gorgeous. Goes enough into metaphor that I lost connection with the protagonist, but still enjoyed the film overall. Bonus for the best analytical reviews of a horror movie I've read on IMDB.

SPEAK NO EVIL (2022)… pretty decent

After the Maxxxine teaser, did anyone know this was going to be a series of (Mia Goth/Ti West) films? Just a trilogy?

Watched X and Jenna Ortega's wailing made me think of John Travolta's "it was a good scream"

Iirc when they were doing press for "X" West and Goth said they had written a script for a prequel, maybe even filmed some stuff. But the third movie I think came as a surprise.

Okay, managed to go into Barbarian totally blind, per recommendations. It starts off pretty smart and well made, then it goes off the rails in a stupid and lazy way. Ways, really.

Yeah it was setting itself up to be a lot more interesting than it was.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUlgwJNdu2I

casting jamie clayton as pinhead is such a fucking brilliant idea

Thank fuck it's a movie and not a series, so yeah, I'm probably in.

Loved Barbarian, love when a video nasty shows up unexpectedly

Scream 2022 kind of sucked

You prefer the Babadook?

5cream was bad, i was v disappointed

I'm literally never going to see that Scream movie, but I must admit I am intrigued by Brad not liking it.

i kept being reminded throughout that even the least-good wes craven movie at least has something to fucking say

actually i've never seen vampire in brooklyn so i have no idea if that movie has something to say

about the only funny part is Kadeem Hardison getting bitten by Murphy and slowly turning into a vampire and having various body parts fall off and someone yelling "YO YOU BETTER DO A QUICK DICK CHECK"

that was the only laugh

I laughed at "flippery shit" but it was a long time ago

SPEAK NO EVIL (2022)… pretty decent

― LaMDA barry-stanners (||||||||), Saturday, 17 September 2022 22:39 (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

this left me even more bummed than Martyrs did but it's extremely contrived in its nihilism

ffs

After years of trying to bring his remake to life, The Northman’s Robert Eggers finally has the backing needed to create his own version of Nosferatu. Officially in production with Focus Features, the film will star It’s Bill Skarsgård and The Idol’s Lily-Rose Depp.

...

“It’s fallen apart twice ... " Eggers previously told IndieWire. “And I just wonder if Murnau’s ghost is telling me, like, you should stop.”

Yeah, no shit. This is like when Del Toro was wasting his time trying to make "Frankenstein." I don't care who's making it, who needs it? I still haven't seen the new "Suspiria" for the same reason. The only thing worse than all those slick big budget remakes of '70s and '80s horror movies is remakes of things that have been remade so many times they've been reduced to tropes and cliches. Though tbf I guess if ever there was a genre that has made great art despite/out of tropes and cliches, it's horror.

It's not Nosferatu, it's NosferaTWO, the sequel

suspiria is a pretty thorough reinvention of the source material

i liked it! i can recognize why others found it unbearably pretentious. but it's hardly a retread of the original

I never made it all the way through either version of Suspiria but having been to Berlin, I liked the atmosphere of the remake.

I can't imagine an Eggers remake of Nosferatu being any good unless he uses Willem Dafoe.

Who, of course, famously played Nosferatu already.

xpost Yeah, so I heard. So just make a new movie, then! I think the same thing when someone covers a song but changes basically everything but the lyrics.

let's get physical

Eggers’ theatrical take on Nosferatu launched his film career, I’m interested in his version

i think retelling older stories in deeply idiosyncratic ways is an established storytelling tradition since the dawn of fucking time

He should remake Nadja

finally saw pearl and while i loved x i preferred pearl a great deal. just my kind of technicolor phantasmagoria of camp + maybe one of the best lead performances i've ever seen

mia goth screaming "what did you see!! what did i do wrong!! why did you change!!!" at the projectionist hit a little close to home

Mia was fucking masterful

the part at the end where she's slowly stalking her sister-in-law made my skin crawl

Feel like the film fell into some other category outside of horror, but I liked it and Mia Goth was fully committed and fantastic.

I like the idea of Nosferatu having his own story because the biggest fault for me with Murnau's version is that Count Orlok really deserved better than being another version of Dracula. I think there were some comics that gave him his own stories.

Same goes for the vampire from London After Midnight, give him a story where he's actually a vampire. And keep the sidekick too.

barbarian was entertaining but the first 30 minutes ruled so much that i was sad when they pivoted from that (probably unsustainable) vibe

i am definitely not a general audience because they could've just wandered down dark and increasingly fucked up underground tunnels and staircases and i would've been rapt. put me in the mood of those fmv horror games from the early '90s where you're compelled to make only the most doomed choices

I enjoyed Barbarian throughout but the first 30 minutes were pretty special. I guess it's kind of like The Descent. that movie could have been just about being trapped in a cave, and I woulda been fine, and then they introduce bat-like predators and it's just a turn that I didn't need...even though I still love the movie.

That first section was great and set it up to be far more interesting than it turned out to be (which is to say, another goddam troglodyte monster). I didn't like Don't Breathe, particularly, but this movie borrowed a lot from that movie, except the surprise reveal in that movie is truly fucked up and this movie is ... just another goddam troglodyte monster.

In fact, it bummed me out so much to have paid to see it in the theaters that it's kept me from seeing "Pearl" (which I know is better, because it has be).