Elon Musk

me: tesla, we've not been to the dairy bar in a while and...
tesla: There's nothing. I know. Have a good journey, Mr. Weyland.

lmao

So, this is how well things are going in Norway for Tesla Owners...https://t.co/3rM9EBPovu

— CommonSenseSkeptic (@C_S_Skeptic) August 29, 2022

The car won't start in cold weather

Intense squeaking noise

Car won't start in warm weather

the three bullet separation between cold weather and warm weather is killing me

You have to wait on the phone for a long time before Tesla answers

Oh come on. Ever called, like, anyone? Join the club, Norwegians.

lol I didn't even know this existed:

https://shop.tesla.com/product/cyberquad-for-kids

― Josh in Chicago, Sunday, August 28, 2022 10:37 AM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

my brother got a Model 3 one for my son which Tesla gave him as a “gift” for buying 2 real ones. It hasn’t started on fire yet but it did have a lot of weird issues with the electrical components and the steering wheel popped off. It also gets stuck on anything that’s not concrete, which sucks because kids love to off road these things. After a year (which ain’t much because in Wisconsin you can only really use the thing for 6 months max) one of the axles broke. The only good thing I can say is it was pretty fast (6 mph) but even that is obnoxious because the parents have to follow along.

followed the link. "This item is out of stock"

i don't mind stealing bread
from the mouths of Pretorians

Mojave Desert to Tesla drivers: "send more cars!"

slightly worried this Tesla seems to have had BeamNG installed https://t.co/eLFpvMy2eT

— Hazel Southwell (@HSouthwellFE) August 29, 2022

the desert attempting to reclaim its lithium

Another problem with steering non-wheels that can only be held in one exact place:

https://www.thedrive.com/news/tesla-steering-yokes-are-disintegrating-before-30000-miles

...and of removing all buttons, knobs, and levers for the driver to use:

https://cleantechnica.com/2022/08/31/the-danger-of-removing-all-buttons-knobs-levers/

this seems like the ball game?

Twitter:

May 8th, Musk to Morgan Stanley: "let's slow down just a few days ... it won't make sense to buy Twitter if we are heading into World War 3"

177/

— The Chancery Daily (@chancery_daily) September 6, 2022

whats he talking about re ww3

Bad idea: "Let's go race our Tesla at 100mph+ in the middle of the night on the Bonneville Salt Flats" https://t.co/PvpANPqCge

— AI6YR (@ai6yrham) September 6, 2022

xp withdrawing from the deal for a reason unrelated to his claimed reason for backing out and certainly unrelated to the scope merger agreement

what does he mean by ww3 tho like actual world war three

Ukraine, I’m guessing

Lol that was a text from Musk to Mr. Grimes

Oh, I belime

Ukraine, I’m guessing

― You can't spell Fearless without Earle (President Keyes), Tuesday, September 6, 2022 8:39 PM (twenty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

thought the same but musks initial offer to buy twitter came after the war started, which is not to say he couldnt have just gotten the idea at some point that now its going to be ww3, but also he could just be talking about something else

some sort of figurative world war three, or maybe a secret world war three, idk

The text before the WWIII one said, “Putin is speaking tomorrow”

putin is going to announce ww3 tomorrow better not buy twitter, a thing we all think from time to time

I’m pretty sure idiots going fast in the desert after dark has caused a lot of casualties really re: salt flats

Nah, normal cars are invincible in desert conditions

i took my 2002 audi a4 avant on there but it was kind of wet and gummy did not reach max speed had to hose it down after for sure, that was during the day tho

I know nothing about the salt flats but How much salt is in the dust i should think that would be corrosive as fuck without super washout and cleaning

driving out onto the salt flats is fun. best to be careful about where though, some areas are wetter than others and blocked by embankments. the north side between mm 15 and 20, west of the "tree of life" is generally ok, although i see after having driven out that way yesterday that they have put up little fences on the side of the freeway in that section.

I think they steam treat certain tracks when they're trying for a speed record... as noted earlier, they can be pretty slushy, like walking on rock salt

lol

Not only has Tesla's strict return-to-office policy damaged morale but the company lacks resources to house everyone: shortage of chairs, desk space, parking spots, dongles, charging cords, phone booths and conference rooms. https://t.co/zvgY86QIqM

— Amy Diehl, Ph.D. (@amydiehl) September 15, 2022

Musk is more than enough dongle for the whole place.

Musk himself is a dingle

Elon's college girlfriend from Penn just auctioned off a bunch of old photos of him, a birthday card, and a necklace he gave her:

https://www.rrauction.com/search/results/?lot=&str=elon%20musk&exclude=&cat=0&sort=time&auctions=0&view=gallery&page=1&itemQty=96&catalogLotNumber=&cp=past-auctions&searchType=title

im goin g to buy them

i dont understand why someone would pay thousands of dollars for these snapshots, is there a businessman collectables market

Here's a handkerchief that Elon blew into and never washed. I'll start the bidding at 50,000

Yeah, it's baffling. Almost makes me wonder if Elon bought them himself. xp

get his dna, clone him, set up permanent dunk tank, PROFIT

good for her

it make a pinch

Tesla is recalling nearly 1.1 million vehicles in the U.S. because the windows can pinch a person's fingers when being rolled up. https://t.co/PBT06Hrh6Q

— The Associated Press (@AP) September 22, 2022

haven't worked out the kinks in the self-rolling windows

I'm sure it's fine

lmao

This is the third time my Tesla is getting recalled in just the last year. Getting sick of this shit. I'm sorry @Tesla your cars are amazing but this is not acceptable. If this happens 3 more times I will have to consider trading it in for a different Tesla model

— Wild Geerters (@steinkobbe) September 22, 2022

this is your fourth-to-last chance tesla

Is the pinch really more of a priority than the exploding thing? I’m not a driver so maybe one of you can explain idk

Surprised Musk didn't make them add a cartoon noise when your finger gets caught in the window. "Booiiiiinnnng!" or whatever.

Seems to suggest that at least one person has actually had their fingers cut off.

Is the pinch really more of a priority than the exploding thing? I’m not a driver so maybe one of you can explain idk

― barry sito (gyac), Thursday, September 22, 2022 9:33 AM (sixteen minutes ago)

everyone who buys tesla does so to satisfy the death drive, mere pinches don't go far enough, is how I break it down

Maybe the windows of other cars just don't pinch enough.

been seeing articles about techbros that "want to grow inches" and it's naturally going to take some pinches