Elon Musk

there’s a guy with a healthy collection of truck nuts

only fifteen thousand us dollars to unlock the feature that lets you chill out while yr tesla autonomously mows down children, cyclists, animals and more

Elon Musk is jacking up the price of Tesla’s unfinished autonomous vehicle software yet again, an added feature that itself is starting to approach the cost of a typical small hatchback. https://t.co/xI8kRRlhh4

— FORTUNE (@FortuneMagazine) August 22, 2022

guy is absolutely relentless in fleecing his marks, such distain

That photo there makes him look like a Bond villain.

and rightly so

Bond villain or, I dunno, asshole conductor who stopped the performance because someone was talking.

A conductor who is legendary for his temper tantrums but can't conduct his way out of a paper bag.

careful or you might ink a show deal with amazon

Would watch. Unless you are actually describing the premise of "Mozart in the Jungle," in which case, did not watch.

(still laughing at this one)

When the Moon Patrol buggy fucked the Peavey logo. https://t.co/Peyjx6v43i

— steve albini (@electricalWSOP) August 22, 2022

pic.twitter.com/qECQXkl5TE

— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) August 22, 2022

I think these two might buy it pic.twitter.com/Muf6bAbPd5

— Tin Foil Awards (@TinFoilAwards) August 21, 2022

I guess I've always labored under the misapprehension that vehicles in post-apocalyptic cinema looked that way out of practical necessity (limited materials available, must be able to cross the wastelands without being hopelessly ravaged by mutants, etc.) when I guess everyone just looted the warehouses upon warehouses filled with unsold Cybertrucks.

Tesla Steering Yokes Are Disintegrating Before 30,000 Miles

probably just the Andromeda Strain mutating again, def nothing wrong with Tesla's scientific and product engineering genius

we made the shittiest possible steering wheel but dont worry its broken

Still not sure how the yoke complies with regulations

JFC

A variety of theories have been put forth by the Twitter community to explain the issue. Many posters quickly turned on the owners, accusing them of causing the problems through their personal vices.

Meet Kevin was facetiously accused of spilling beer in the interior, with a Twitter user hunting down a mugshot from his DUI arrest. Posters scrutinized images and criticized jf.okay in particular for excessive fingernail pressure on the yoke. Others spuriously asserted that excessive alcohol consumption could cause the problem via ethanol leaching out of the skin. Less cutting theories put the blame on hand sanitizers or lotions degrading the coating on the yoke.

I forgot that Teslas have a fucking YOKE steering apparatus. I feel like that’s a tidy micro summary of everything that’s wrong with this dude’s hubristic “engineering genius”.

More like Yeet steering, am I right?

excessive alcohol consumption could cause the problem via ethanol leaching out of the skin

lol these fuckin' nerds and the mental gymnastics to defend their god king Musk

Imagine being so drunk all the time that you can literally dissolve plastics with your hands.

I just call that "Friday"

I have had a tendency to wear down car trim just by my touch.

In the first case, it was the passenger "oh shit bar" on an ex-girlfriend's brand-new Subaru, which I had caused noticeable erosion on after just a few months of being her only semi-regular passenger.

In my own car, I wore down the steering wheel padding all the way down to the base plastic. This took several years of use as a daily driver. It took me a while before I noticed it was visibly wearing away, so I'm not sure when it started.

Also, I may have been more drunk than not during the time periods of greatest wear. Unknown if this is relevant.

Anyone else notice this in your non-Tesla cars? Not to apologize for Musk or anything.

I mean, there is some noticeable wear marks on the steering wheel and arm rest on the car I've driven for 10 years, but absolutely nothing I would consider actual "erosion".

the humorous minutiae people pretend to give a fuck about when defending their cult leader.

i bet that nerd had never even thought the words "fingernail pressure" in the same sentence before until his tweet.

wouldn't be talking about other people "squeezing too hard" bro

You must be squeezing too hard. Slow down and you won't have this issue. 😉

— kobiyashi.eth 🥷🍔🔺🐵 (@kobiyashi_eth) August 23, 2022

This is being nit picky.

— Brent Ericson 🇺🇸 🇺🇦 (@brent_ericson) August 24, 2022

spinaltap.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FbBNet6UUAED5oE?format=jpg&name=large

lol the guy who says "that happens to all cars" is a suspended account now

Here, you take the wheel.

some dumbass in that (two year old) thread also posted articles of other cars recalled for steering wheel "coming off" issues to point out that it happens to other cars, but it's like, no, you moron, THOSE CALLS WERE RECALLED, Tesla wasn't!

*cars

There is a Permanently Attached luxury steering wheel option, just add $4400 to the MSRP

Tesla, hire this man

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/87c8f74ea777deab505c309892933de151601bf8/67_20_606_363/master/606.jpg?width=620&quality=85&fit=max&s=f8d4012c93ac9460cc24bf1409e67266

This just gets better... Teslas Can Be Tricked Into Stopping Too Early by Bigger Stop Signs

Twitter user Cowcumber discovered this when their Tesla came to a stop significantly shorter than it should have, but only on particular exit ramps. After pondering the problem, Cowcumber noticed that stop signs on exit ramps appeared to be larger than signs in their neighborhood, so they broke out a tape measure to confirm.

As they suspected, the stop sign on the exit ramp is, in fact, significantly larger. Many of these signs measure just over 48 inches tall, which is around 60 percent larger than the 30-inch signs in their neighborhood.

"60 percent larger to the camera gets interpreted as 60 percent closer?" asks the Tesla owner on Twitter. "I still have the slow creep problem here [...] and it'll come to a complete stop while sitting in the near lanes even if no cars are around!"

It's Friday, so .. more #TeslaFireIssues updates in this ongoing Tesla 'safety' thread

Example no. 346: a controlled test, at low speed

Remember what I said about a Tesla scraping the sides or bottom. And your Tesla is .. (well, you know, 20x or 30x more often than other EV's) pic.twitter.com/mwNHn4OEYE

— Ton Aarts (@ton_aarts) August 26, 2022

Controlled test ... did they set off the explosion/fire, too?

youll just have to "do your own research"

I guess it looks like it just blew up, then. Sounds about right.

you can read the thread if you want

i talked to the village tesla doctor, and they told me that if the car catches on fire when it's upside down, stop making it go upside down

i proceeded to tell some ruffians around the corner to kick this doctor's ass for me

you dont understand teslas only catch on fire when theyre very upset

"tesla, take me downtown"
"ok, i'll take you upside-down"

*immediate fire death*

me: ok i will just open the door and get out
tesla: no lol

tesla, i don't want to die
ok, you're gonna die though

*doors lock*

telsa please let me out
im kind of busy right now (being on fire)

Yeah, I did read the thread. At first I thought they were *trying* to make it blow up, to show how easy it was. Instead I guess they were mostly trying to make it go upside down and get scratched, which in turn showed how easy it was to blow up.

Had a conversation with a friend the other day who is convinced self-driving cars are absolutely happening. He's not a Tesla/Musk stan, he just thinks it's inevitable. My counter was that it couldn't happen on a mass scale because there are just too many uncontrollable variables to account for, and as a counter tried to think of a single autonomous, untethered, easily lethal machine we regularly encounter and I came up with nada. Elevators could kill you, but they're on a track. Same with trains. But self-driving cars everywhere would be like swimming with sharks. You just never know which one is going to get you. Especially if you dress as a tiny stop sign and it thinks you are farther away than you really are.

basically no one who works on autonomous vehicle tech thinks that full autonomy is happening any time soon if at all, and these are mostly people who thought they were close ten years ago, there has however been a lot of progress made in autonomous safety features lane assist auto breaking adaptive cruise control and so forth, of course when you take that stuff and market it as self driving it becomes not safe