Elon Musk

Parody so good you can't tell it's parody

2016: the revolutionary $35,000 Tesla Model 3 is going to bring EV ownership within reach of the mass market, making zero-emission mobility truly affordable.

2022: the average Tesla costs over $13k more than the average Lexus, and roughly the same amount as a Mercedes or BMW. pic.twitter.com/U2osrEoAoA

— E.W. Niedermeyer (@Tweetermeyer) August 16, 2022

Grimes Announces Plans To Get Vampire Teeth, Elf Ears

https://www.stereogum.com/2196423/grimes-announces-plans-to-get-vampire-teeth-elf-ears/news/

exciting time to be alive

elon: hark my elf my little nightwalker
grimes: hello

She doesn’t have them already?

Guess i should have read the first sentence

Grimes X Mortiis collab when

Lmao man utd truly the Twitter of football, he has a type

Congrats to the five people in the purple circle—which I believe is empty by 2020. You have the support of Elon Musk.

Should be really good for fundraising purposes! Not a lot of competition.

(Map is ideological overlap in Congress from here: https://t.co/UXPWTwcx7z) https://t.co/6y4w3cN3zZ pic.twitter.com/C1gSUyY8Se

— John Pfaff (@JohnFPfaff) August 17, 2022

Also, I’m buying Manchester United ur welcome

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 17, 2022

wait what

^^^^

you gotta tip your cap lol

Elon Musk has (jokingly?) said he is buying Manchester United.

But $MANU is traded. Here's where it gets weird.$MANU gets 0 options activity. Two days ago, someone did 450k, sustained volume, in $14 calls expiring 31 days, 3500% increase in volume.

Planned joke on markets? pic.twitter.com/oYX4iLRyaq

— unusual_whales (@unusual_whales) August 17, 2022

elon musk: what the heck is goin on

as usual I suspect the answer is "too much coke"

lmao did he just hype up a pump and dump again

This is what he's reduced to when the drugs don't work anymore.

Alternately: this is basically drugs when yr a billionaire

why go to mars when you could buy your own offshore research pharmaceutical lab to cook up something that makes you think you've reached mars, is my take

That is kind of the plot of a couple of PK Dick stories.

otm

if PDK were around today I bet twitter would hate him

Philip D Kick

Many A+ comments

Cybertruck is truly mind blowing in person. This will be the best product by Tesla so far. @elonmusk pic.twitter.com/f4BCTuJa4W

— Tesla Owners Silicon Valley (@teslaownersSV) August 21, 2022

in the spirit of 2022, the era of just being dumb, i am doubling down and slightly distorting my previous approval of the cybertruk concept and now say that yes, sometimes things can be so bad that they are good, and that's what i meant all along

That’s what I don’t understand. When I see an H1 go down the road I don’t think OMG that car is SO SEXY and BEAUTIFUL!

It’s not a girls car…

When I see an H1 or the CT I think wow that’s badass!!! 🔥🔥🔥

What’s with dudes trying to make there trucks look pretty?

— Jason Bridges (@Jason_lloydd) August 21, 2022

there’s a guy with a healthy collection of truck nuts

only fifteen thousand us dollars to unlock the feature that lets you chill out while yr tesla autonomously mows down children, cyclists, animals and more

Elon Musk is jacking up the price of Tesla’s unfinished autonomous vehicle software yet again, an added feature that itself is starting to approach the cost of a typical small hatchback. https://t.co/xI8kRRlhh4

— FORTUNE (@FortuneMagazine) August 22, 2022

guy is absolutely relentless in fleecing his marks, such distain

That photo there makes him look like a Bond villain.

and rightly so

Bond villain or, I dunno, asshole conductor who stopped the performance because someone was talking.

A conductor who is legendary for his temper tantrums but can't conduct his way out of a paper bag.

careful or you might ink a show deal with amazon

Would watch. Unless you are actually describing the premise of "Mozart in the Jungle," in which case, did not watch.

(still laughing at this one)

When the Moon Patrol buggy fucked the Peavey logo. https://t.co/Peyjx6v43i

— steve albini (@electricalWSOP) August 22, 2022

pic.twitter.com/qECQXkl5TE

— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) August 22, 2022

I think these two might buy it pic.twitter.com/Muf6bAbPd5

— Tin Foil Awards (@TinFoilAwards) August 21, 2022

I guess I've always labored under the misapprehension that vehicles in post-apocalyptic cinema looked that way out of practical necessity (limited materials available, must be able to cross the wastelands without being hopelessly ravaged by mutants, etc.) when I guess everyone just looted the warehouses upon warehouses filled with unsold Cybertrucks.

Tesla Steering Yokes Are Disintegrating Before 30,000 Miles

probably just the Andromeda Strain mutating again, def nothing wrong with Tesla's scientific and product engineering genius

we made the shittiest possible steering wheel but dont worry its broken

Still not sure how the yoke complies with regulations

JFC

A variety of theories have been put forth by the Twitter community to explain the issue. Many posters quickly turned on the owners, accusing them of causing the problems through their personal vices.

Meet Kevin was facetiously accused of spilling beer in the interior, with a Twitter user hunting down a mugshot from his DUI arrest. Posters scrutinized images and criticized jf.okay in particular for excessive fingernail pressure on the yoke. Others spuriously asserted that excessive alcohol consumption could cause the problem via ethanol leaching out of the skin. Less cutting theories put the blame on hand sanitizers or lotions degrading the coating on the yoke.

I forgot that Teslas have a fucking YOKE steering apparatus. I feel like that’s a tidy micro summary of everything that’s wrong with this dude’s hubristic “engineering genius”.

More like Yeet steering, am I right?

excessive alcohol consumption could cause the problem via ethanol leaching out of the skin

lol these fuckin' nerds and the mental gymnastics to defend their god king Musk

Imagine being so drunk all the time that you can literally dissolve plastics with your hands.

I just call that "Friday"