Elon Musk

An incel with kids all over town

that "boo-hoo everyone's paying attention to me and i hate it" bs is such transparent reverse psych/br'er rabbit dickery and i am much too clever to take the bait

o no! well at least the bait had the delicious flavor of empty schadenfreude

the evil capitalist from 100 years ago with the top hat and cigar - at least that guy had some dignity. being ruled by a redditor is just fucking humiliating

"Haven't impregnated an subordinate in ages (sigh)"

He's bitching about the attention he's getting for having an affair with Nicole Shanahan, the wife of Sergei Brin.

In other words, this is all so much humblebragging. I hope his dick falls off.

while he is obvs a huge attention whore i dont doubt he has regrets about some of his recent press, his q score has suffered

His p score remains on pin though (heyo)

lol that was supposed to be “point” that’s what I get for trying to be a smart ass while tipsy

I was joking at work yesterday that in this workplace, we don't talk about two things: Tesla stock, and how many children Elon Musk has at this point in time

both are just arbitrary numbers tbh

many people are following this

https://twitter.com/chancery_daily

lmao compelling him to buy twitter would be a violation of his rights under the 13th amendment https://www.barrons.com/articles/twitter-musk-specific-performance-thirteenth-amendment-51659101363

smh body shaming

Elon Musk's disdain for his dad probably just intensified, after the 76-year-old Musk patriarch essentially called his son fat and said he's not proud of him. https://t.co/VIuzOC5i7w

— TMZ (@TMZ) August 1, 2022

finalFINAL202207311829.jpg pic.twitter.com/uV2Lc4XUoQ

— The Chancery Daily (@chancery_daily) July 31, 2022

G’day @elonmusk, I’m a reporter at @abcnews that’s been covering the discovery of @SpaceX debris in Australia. Just wondering, is anyone from your team coming to collect it?
Here’s a pic of one of the pieces👇 pic.twitter.com/NcJeuigQzx

— Adriane Reardon (@adrianereardon) August 3, 2022

"Clearly this is not going to turn into a horrible diplomatic event”

sad crowd: “awwwww.”

truly the billionaire we deserve

I hereby challenge @paraga to a public debate about the Twitter bot percentage.

Let him prove to the public that Twitter has <5% fake or spam daily users!

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 6, 2022

i was just down at the gas station and overheard two guys (pickup truck owners) discussing twitters bot percentage, they both agreed it was probably more than five percent

I hereby challenge Elon Musk to a debate that Tesla should accept Dogecoin for cars! :)

— Matt Wallace (@MattWallace888) August 6, 2022

how good are teslas pic.twitter.com/nPDUK9ZHik

— matt (@mattDCLXVI) August 5, 2022

oop

BREAKING: Elon Musk sells 3.3 million Tesla shares, worth over $4.3 billion.

— The Spectator Index (@spectatorindex) August 10, 2022

"worth"

*MUSK SELLS AT LEAST 7.92M TESLA SHARES WORTH $6.89B: FILINGS

(yes it is Tuesday)

— Sean O'Kane (@sokane1) August 10, 2022

It’s 2022, and Teslas still aren’t stopping for children. pic.twitter.com/GGBh6sAYZS

— Taylor Ogan (@TaylorOgan) August 9, 2022

This looks like it's worth a read

“Elon Musk admitted to his biographer that the reason the Hyperloop was announced—even tho he had no intention of pursuing it—was to try to disrupt the California high-speed rail project to get in the way of that actually succeeding.” — @ParisMarx @Gizmodo https://t.co/qj5WyO4oGR

— Brent Toderian (@BrentToderian) August 10, 2022

the guy who will save the environment

Is there anyone in the Bay Area with a child who can run in front of my car on Full Self-Driving Beta to make a point? I promise I won't run them over... (will disengage if needed)

(this is a serious request)

— Whole Mars Catalog (@WholeMarsBlog) August 9, 2022

Lmao

Narrator: He did not make a point.

Parody so good you can't tell it's parody

2016: the revolutionary $35,000 Tesla Model 3 is going to bring EV ownership within reach of the mass market, making zero-emission mobility truly affordable.

2022: the average Tesla costs over $13k more than the average Lexus, and roughly the same amount as a Mercedes or BMW. pic.twitter.com/U2osrEoAoA

— E.W. Niedermeyer (@Tweetermeyer) August 16, 2022

Grimes Announces Plans To Get Vampire Teeth, Elf Ears

https://www.stereogum.com/2196423/grimes-announces-plans-to-get-vampire-teeth-elf-ears/news/

exciting time to be alive

elon: hark my elf my little nightwalker
grimes: hello

She doesn’t have them already?

Guess i should have read the first sentence

Grimes X Mortiis collab when

Lmao man utd truly the Twitter of football, he has a type

Congrats to the five people in the purple circle—which I believe is empty by 2020. You have the support of Elon Musk.

Should be really good for fundraising purposes! Not a lot of competition.

(Map is ideological overlap in Congress from here: https://t.co/UXPWTwcx7z) https://t.co/6y4w3cN3zZ pic.twitter.com/C1gSUyY8Se

— John Pfaff (@JohnFPfaff) August 17, 2022

Also, I’m buying Manchester United ur welcome

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 17, 2022

wait what

^^^^

you gotta tip your cap lol

Elon Musk has (jokingly?) said he is buying Manchester United.

But $MANU is traded. Here's where it gets weird.$MANU gets 0 options activity. Two days ago, someone did 450k, sustained volume, in $14 calls expiring 31 days, 3500% increase in volume.

Planned joke on markets? pic.twitter.com/oYX4iLRyaq

— unusual_whales (@unusual_whales) August 17, 2022

elon musk: what the heck is goin on

as usual I suspect the answer is "too much coke"

lmao did he just hype up a pump and dump again

This is what he's reduced to when the drugs don't work anymore.

Alternately: this is basically drugs when yr a billionaire

why go to mars when you could buy your own offshore research pharmaceutical lab to cook up something that makes you think you've reached mars, is my take