There Will Not Be Blood: What Menopause Means to You

I finally got a couple pairs of "period underwear" for those days when

soaking through the heaviest tampons in 60-90 minutes

i had never experienced a heavy flow THAT heavy until last week - i was changing tampons every two hours, it was crazy!

my whole cycle has been a crazy rollercoaster since feb, no flow, late flow, light flow, insane flow, and cycles from 14 days all the way to 48 days
i’m seeing ob/gyn in a couple of weeks, i assume it’s all premenopause wackiness but just in case

if its gonna stop just stop ffs, all this wild unpredictability is really a drag

my rollercoaster began last year ... I used to have my "mynstrual calendar" (yes, that is what my anarchist dayplanner calls it) look very tidy with a minor shift here and there in the columns of "x"s ... now it looks a bit more like "things cats type" or something ... if the cat could hit the down arrow and have blank rows.

My particular variety of (early stage) breast cancer is exquisitely estrogen sensitive, which means I am about to be tossed abruptly into chemically-induced menopause courtesy of tamoxifen. I already feel like my brain power has taken a noticeable dive in recent years; definitely feeling concerned about the cognitive impacts of being estrogen-deprived.

:(

had some abnormal bleeding over the past few months & am on factfinding journey for what we think is just regular old menopause.

had endometrial biopsy today … technically straightforward and it was over lightning-fast but jesus literally everything about that superfast procedure was deeply unpleasant. yuk no thank you dnw.

if results come back normal i think i’m just going to opt for a do-nothing/monitor for now. i could do iud or birth control if i needed to but i dont really need it yet i dont think? i dont have much other menopausal hormonal craziness so far luckily

plus i’m on like 75 other meds for other things and appointments galore lately and adding another feels like too much even for me

we’ll see

Perimenopausal brain fog, or not giving a fuck any more?

"why not both?" ... i had my period last week for the first time in 3 months ... also apparently another "great" symptom is the onset of lactose intolerance! I'm not that intolerant, like, I'm not bloating and puking but ... if I ever go back to seeing movies in the theater, I should not have ice cream otherwise I will be the annoying person climbing over everyone in the race to the bathroom

Went to a new GP last week and mentioned how the last one I saw immediately dismissed the very idea of HRT without even asking my symptoms. The new GP was horrified. She says HRT is fine. She gave me a symptom checklist. I checked almost every single one lol.

Still have brain fog, dry eyes, insane hot flashes which frequently wake me at night (not with sweating - just SO HOT). Things feel compounded right now by the recent head injury I had, my bad knees, and the dread I could have Type 2 Diabetes but havent been tested for it

Uuuugh why do so many things have to be wrong. I'm just exhausted.

my anxiety has been off the scale recently - i don't feel overly anxious but my body goes into overdrive, heart racing etc at the mildest of "triggers" if that makes sense? since December. I'm wondering if it's peri. I'm only 41 tho.

stupid man chiming in to say I am glad you guys have this thread.
my wife is past the menopause now, but when she was going through it she really did not have anyone she felt she could talk to about it, and trying to understand what was happening was a real challenge for us at first.

Yeah I think I’m starting peri menopause. My period has been a bit weird - due to an IUD I’ve been mostly having invisible periods the last couple years (symptoms but no bleeding) but I had an invisible period then 2 weeks later starting bleeding a lot and it’s gone on for like 10 days at this point. It’s very annoying.

Yea Justine I had the same issue - I was on Implanon so no periods anyway. It was all the other shit that made me notice. PMTesque moodswings/anger, overheated, sweaty, clumsy. Remembering what my ma was like when she was my age (she became a bit of a psycho hosebeast til she got on HRT).

And I know we dont all need reminding but always advocate for yourselves with doctors! Fuck that last GP telling me I couldnt go on HRT.

Went to a new GP last week and mentioned how the last one I saw immediately dismissed the very idea of HRT without even asking my symptoms. The new GP was horrified. She says HRT is fine. She gave me a symptom checklist. I checked almost every single one lol.

― Stoop Crone (Trayce)

i'm not surprised but it's... probably one of the more shocking things to me, the extent to which a lot of doctors just don't listen to or respect women. since my body doesn't make T anymore, if i'm not getting hormones my body does go into menopause - i switched my hrt to patches earlier this year and for whatever reason it didn't work, and i sort of had a lot going on and didn't notice for a couple months, so i've had the privilege of experiencing the symptoms firsthand, and menopause is some fucking bullshit. not as much bullshit as some asshole doctor dismissing you out of hand when you brought up the topic, but bullshit, for sure.

anyway hope you get on hrt soon, if you haven't started yet. i feel guilty about asking this because i could just google it, but what are the typical administration methods for hrt in cis women? and is it just estrogen, or do y'all take like progesterone sometimes as well? i know sometimes menopausal cis women will microdose testosterone, which seems weird to me but the ones who do it seem to like it ok?

Playing a fun game atm of "what is causing the brain fog today?"
Could it be depression, anaemia, trauma, thyroid, or the onset of perimenopause?

haha i know that game! occasionally i think, "what about thermonuclear war?" ... speaking of games you don't win

have had two heavy periods in one month ... at first the brain fog was like, "oh, maybe it just feels like it was two weeks ago since you had the last one?" ... for the last couple years I have actually been tracking them on a calendar and I could verify, no, actually, it was just two weeks ago ... so I guess, before there is no blood, there is a lot of blood at random times.

yeah my last one was a two-week cycle, it had been normal for about 6 months, but yeah not looking forward to these starting up again

also the shorter cycles are WAY heavier
makes me feel like i’m 14 again having to stash pads & tampons in every bag/purse/backpack

like i used to be under the misapprehension that menopause meant NO period, not fuckin MORE periods
biology sucks i hate it

hating biology rn for sure

also I forgot if I mentioned this upthread but I sing "night sweats" to the tune of "Night Shift" by Siouxsie ... eventually I will cram all my annoying menopause symptoms into alternate lyrics for that song, and it will be my menopause anthem

i think i literally just had my first hot flash
while i was standing in the kitchen making coffee

my review: yuk, hated it

but it also might have been hypoglycemia
so yay thats fun

This is the problem I am having! Is it a menopause thing or a diabetes thing? I wake up every single night feeling hot and crappy.

I'm going to a film festival this weekend--will I once again be dashing to the restroom between each film because I've soaked through yet another tampon?

I've still never experienced anything that I would recognize as a hot flash. I may be lucky, but my doctors are always weirded out when I tell them this.

After I get back from NYS, I need to make a gynecologist appointment.

today i burst into tears in the middle of a zoom meeting (luckily mostly passive companywide monthly thing)
they were playing taylor swift cruel summer over a photo slide show & i had to turn my camera off bc i was fucking SOBBING for no reason like i like tswift but i have no personal connection to the song or the slideshow

like my hormones were like LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO

wee

my darlings, you will each get through this in your own way, and it might be very difficult at times, but then the other side is so, so free. i love it here.

I gotta say the cessation of periods has been *chefs kiss*.

This thread <3

The phrase "blood, sweat and tears" pretty much covers what I am experiencing all the time right now. Just make it all stop already :-(

like i used to be under the misapprehension that menopause meant NO period, not fuckin MORE periods
biology sucks i hate it

― werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, August 5, 2023 5:15 PM (five days ago) bookmarkflaglink

It is! Technically I don't think you're considered menopausal until you've gone a year without one.

I still haven't had any peri symptoms though a lot of my friends are really struggling. Sounds terrible tbh.

I'm getting cold flashes at night, which is actually quite welcome since I only have one of those little bedside swamp coolers for air conditioning. (Other than the fans that are all over the house.)

*I gotta say the cessation of periods has been *chefs kiss*.*

For some people the mini pill has this effect...

10 years of no periods has been great, and also not having wild mood swings. It's tough to recognize how hard we are driven by hormones until we aren't.

If y'all aren't following Dr. Jen Gunter, I highly recommend. Her newsletter The Vagenda is menopause and repro science-y goodness.

The mood swings are what I’m most looking forward to gtfo. Bleeding is messy and aggravating but it doesn’t make me utterly lose my shit every 4 weeks. Saying goodbye to dramatic mood fluctuations will feel like a zillion bucks.

*I gotta say the cessation of periods has been *chefs kiss*.*

For some people the mini pill has this effect...

― kinder, Friday, August 11, 2023 6:51 AM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Mirena IUD too.

xp - kinda wish i could just "skip" them, like a "not feeling this, thanks" track on an album lol. I feel like the mood swings in the past year have been more intense than when I was "regular" ...

this year for me: no periods for 3 months, definitely not babby ... I'm cool with this; two regularly timed but incredibly heavy periods ... not great, Bob; two heavy periods in one month plus crazy mood swings ... ughhh.

meanwhile I am becoming like my mother, who at one point in her late 40s, read somewhere that aluminum cookware is linked to alzheimers so she got rid of all her aluminum cookware ... instead, I am diligently investing in clothing made of natural fibers that are "breathable" because that will make the night sweats less awful.

also apparently UTIs are much more common during & after "the change" ... on the bright side, all the Covid-inspired virtual medical appointments made it astonishingly easy to get a prescription for antibiotics

For me, the swings amped up to 11 through perimenopause, so frequent and intense. About a year in to the post-pause, it hit me that wasn't happening any more. Then when Trump got elected and I was 100% rage all the time, it was a different flavor - more focused, like laser-rage instead of exploding supernova.

the most annoying thing for me rn is the "brain fog"

Had a long overdue eye exam today cos I need new glasses and also diabetes = gotta get that checked. I asked about the insanity-enducing dry eyes Ive suffered from for like a year or more now and the opto immediately said "yeah sorry thats caused by hormonal changes" ie from menopause. Yugh. I hope that settles eventually! At least she recommended some drops that Actually Work for a change (Cationorm if anyone's interested).

I'm dealing with dry eyes from taking duloxetine - lotsa drops including these gel ones at night plus a silicone sleep mask from EyeEco that helps. Glad you found some drops that work!

Cool, cool, cool, so awesome, love being a woman:

https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/bjpsych-bulletin/article/severe-mental-illness-and-the-perimenopause/8D072AACBCD3C7888C173B36635C08C3

Perimenopausal hormone fluctuations lead to an idiosyncratic array of physical and psychological symptoms, which may lead to new-onset mental disorders as well as affecting pre-existing conditions. Patients with severe mental illness going through the perimenopause may expect changes in their symptomatology and response to treatment.

stoked for the madness

wait no not stoked, the other thing

i was looking forward to not bleeding through my fucking clothes every other month but yeah, okay, better put the suicide hotline at the top of my favorites again

forewarned is forearmed at least

weeee

I honestly found breast cancer easier to deal with than this menopause shit. A lot of women find it nbd; I am not one of them.

sorry quincie :(

Yeah - just given my age I assume I'm peri but I haven't noticed any symptoms to do with my actual period or otherwise whereas I have friends who are GOING THRU IT. I feel quite lucky right now but also scared because what they're going through sounds, quite frankly, horrible.

Anyone have tips/recommendations re bedding and sleep stuff to mitigate the night sweats? I am afraid to ask on social media because too many of my friends are woo-woo and I don’t want to be mean

All too timely a threadbump. WHY AM I STILL GETTING PERIODS AT MY ADVANCED AGE?

I am finding helpful to wear light PJs (top and bottom) so I can strip them off if they get damp. And I keep a large beach towel by the bed and put that down if the sheets are also damp.