A thread for boring computer questions.

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Cool. Thank you.

― hmmm (hmmm), Thursday, 6 May 2004 07:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Do mac laptops ever "beep" at you, even when the headphone jack is engaged? I swear mine just beeped at me. Its screen is shot so yesterday I plugged it into a ca. 1993 VGA monitor courtesy of Chez Ed's Backroom (aka Mission Control). Its "sound out" is plugged into the stereo, which is off. I think the sound came from INSIDE the computer!! Is this a hard-working little electron's equivalent of "help, I'm stuck inside a Chinese fortune cookie factory"? Or something even worse?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 10 May 2004 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

COMPUTER, WHAT IS THE STATUS OF NUMBER ONE

― Jean-Luc (Jean-Luc), Monday, 10 May 2004 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I AM NUMBER TWO

― Hulko Mainframington (tracerhand), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:01 (twenty-two years ago)

LET HIM GO

― Jean-Luc (Jean-Luc), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Captain, I am fine. I suggest a racially motivated attack on a Klingon vessle.

― Commander Riker (numbertwo), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:26 (twenty-two years ago)

MAKE IT SO, WE CAN FUDGE A STORY ABOUT THEM KILLING MY SON.

― Jean-Luc (Jean-Luc), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Thy will be done, master.

― Commander Riker (numbertwo), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, uh, yes captain.

― Commander Riker (numbertwo), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I am good with tools Captain.

― Geordie (Jean-Luc), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:31 (twenty-two years ago)

WHERE IS WESLEY CRUSHER

― Jean-Luc (Jean-Luc), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Currently sucking me off.

― Commander Riker (numbertwo), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

That reminds me of the time I painted a womans face on the back of my head and went on a date with him.

Why we certainly had an "end-of-the-episode-chuckle" at that didn't we NUMBER ONE.

― Jean-Luc (Jean-Luc), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Rightly so. Don't forget the time we shorn Guinan of one of her "dread locks", and affixed it to her crotch as a substitute penile member.

― Commander Riker (numbertwo), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:36 (twenty-two years ago)

thank goodness the only strong female characters both wanted to fuck us.

― Jean-Luc (Jean-Luc), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:37 (twenty-two years ago)

No one will ever be writing "slash" about us!

― Commander Riker (numbertwo), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah Ryker, shall I see you at the Romulan ELECTROCLASH NIGHT this Thursday? Every Friday morning you rush off before I get out of the shower and put my shoulder pads on.

― Commander Tomohawk (Jean-Luc), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:41 (twenty-two years ago)

AKKKKK

― Warf (Jean-Luc), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:46 (twenty-two years ago)

It is not logical for a grown man to dress up with a conch shell embedded in his forehead.

― Data (numbertwo), Monday, 10 May 2004 22:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm going to ask a boring question, rather than talk about penises, I'm afraid:

I can't download my e-mails using Outlook Express 6 on Freeserve. I'm getting a message saying 'socket error 10060'. Confusingly, this message appears to have nothing to do with the socket - because the internet works fine.
Freeserve 'how can we call this a help line' Help Line tells me its because my anti-virus software (AVG) is preventing e-mails from being downloaded, and I have to re-configure my anti-virus software.

two questions, then?

1. Are Freeserve LYING?
2. How the buggery bollocks does one re-configure one's anti-virus software.

Clicking 'configure' doesn't seem to work, btw..
Also, I have read the 'help' section on AVG. It is RUBBISH.

Thank you.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 10:46 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

my hard drive is wiped.

I don't have a back-up hard drive but I do have an iPod.

is there anyway I can transfer the music from my iPod back onto the new (formatted, clean) mac hard drive?

― cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, there are number of applications to do this for you, see http://www.ipodding.com or htt://www.ipodlounge.com. however you can access the hidden music directories on the iPod throegh the terminal using the 'cd' command.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 11:16 (twenty-two years ago)

when I connect my iPod back to the computer, because this is a new hard drive, it's not going to recognise it is it? so then I'll have to re-install the software - which will automatically wipe the hard drive (it is default set to automatically 'update' the iPod). is this correct? if so, how will I get round this problem?

― cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

it should recognise it as a disk no problem

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah it will. but won't it format it?

― cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

or are the iPod's 'update settings' stored on the iPod?

― cozen (Cozen), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

As long as you told it to work as a disk as well as an iPod it should just mount on the desktop.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 12:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I have some sort of problem with a virus/spyware: when I connect to the internet, and periodically thereafter, some IE page labelled dl.html creates itself, then tries to spawn some other webpage. I ctrl-alt-delete pretty sharpish and kill it, but it's a big nuisance. I haven't found out where it's taking me - I fear letting it run to find out. I have spybot installed, but it isn't helping with this. When I trace the file dl.html and destroy it, it just reappears sometime later. Nothing that I recognise as wrong appears in my process list. I've searched for 'dl.html' all through my PC and found nothing, so I can't work out what is happening. Any ideas? Any good free downloads that are good for this kind of thing?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 16 June 2004 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

martin:
http://www.sophos.com/virusinfo/analyses/trojlamedona.html

btw, hasn't this thread been replaced with one that doesn't have 800 messages on it

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 17 June 2004 07:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I found that page via googling, but none of the things it explains seem to apply (i.e. no such files or Registry keys) and its instructions can only maybe work if you buy Sophos. I've had a go with msconfig, and removed lots of dubious looking startup stuff, so I'll see if that helps when I restart.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 17 June 2004 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Has anyone tried the AirportExpress wireless?
http://www.apple.com/airportexpress/

I have an old airport card (not Airport Extreme), an older Powerbook, and though the specs appear top say I can use this, I am skeptical. Does anyone have experience with this using OSX?

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 17 June 2004 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

are there any good (free) (downloadable) word processors for macs ppl would recommend?

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 18 June 2004 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Cozen, Open Office is available for OS/X. It's the best free office suite there is.

― bert (bert), Saturday, 19 June 2004 01:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I tried that once and it was horrendously slow to start up. Is it written in Java or something?

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 19 June 2004 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

any ideas, nick?

― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 19 June 2004 11:00 (twenty-two years ago)

No. I looked into it a while ago and Open Office seemed to be the only fully-featured free option. Moons and sticks.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 19 June 2004 11:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I am trying to listen to 1xtra through realplayer but it says I don't have the correct mime plug-in and that I should seek it here: http://www.real.com/products/player/bbc.html - but when I go there all I get is an advert for realone radiopass. any ideas where to get the plug-in? sorry fr being such a spiv.

― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 19 June 2004 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Open Office appears to be largely written in C/C++ but using Java to interface to the native components such that third parties can write plugins; it's likely that plugins with the standard distribution are written in Java. Might explain the slowness. Might just be that it's an inefficient C program.

Cozen, seems odd. Maybe you could try installing the latest realplayer. It works fine for me and I've got a two year old realplayer. Although, by the look of the above, it's a Mac you're running on so that may be the difference.

― Keith Watson (kmw), Saturday, 19 June 2004 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Martin, AVG is a good free antivirus program. Might help.

― Paul Eater (eater), Saturday, 19 June 2004 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks, Paul - it took a while to download it and scan my PC, and although it hasn't managed to detect and eliminate whatever trojan is causing this trouble, it does stop that dl.html page actually loading and doing anything, so I feel a great deal safer.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 19 June 2004 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

ok I have dl/ed a copy of office 2004 for mac and I am trying to install it, I haf also dl/ed cd keys. when I go to install it it asks fr the key, I type it in, and it says 'please confirm the Product Key you have entered is correct' then reverts to the CD key window with the last 5-digit input box highlighted, as if it wants me to verify it somehow. does anyone know how? or what I am doing wrong?

― regpostanonymous, Thursday, 1 July 2004 22:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm sure someone can help you.

― cºzen (Cozen), Thursday, 1 July 2004 22:12 (twenty-two years ago)

You're silly. What possibly could Office 2004 have that you'd need that isn't on Office X (which likely is much easier to get an illegal copy of). Sorry, no sympathy. I guess you'll have to hold out for a friend to have a real copy.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Friday, 2 July 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

what the fuck is the deal with RDRAM and why is it so fucking expensive and why is it the only kind of RAM my Dell can use? Why do you have to buy it in pairs? Where do you find it cheap? Crucial doesn't carry it.

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 12 August 2004 02:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Best Buy.

― Harold Media (kenan), Thursday, 12 August 2004 02:56 (twenty-one years ago)

is it better than other types of RAM? why does Dell use it?

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 12 August 2004 03:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I have no idea. I guess it's fancy RAM. You know, like fancy ketchup.

― Harold Media (kenan), Thursday, 12 August 2004 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

How do you stop the addresses of websites you've visited staying on the menu thing where you type in addresses (I don't know what that's called)?

― Cathy (Cathy), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Cathy, what have you been looking at?

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm just asking!

― Cathy (Cathy), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

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