Elon Musk

lol Karl that is a very accurate description of driving in Chicago. I swear you could get honked at there if you weren't already moving when the light turned green if they didn't just try to pass you instead

it's basically like this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2vejhdm8lo

I barely register horns as a sign of danger anymore, since drivers seem to use them primarily to express annoyance.

i get irrationally embarrassed any time horns are involved even when theyre necessary. i've taken to flashing my brights whenever someone ahead of me is sleeping on a red light. which almost certainly does nothing, partic in the daytime

you just gotta give em a lil toot toot nbd

i fuckin hate cars and traffic and as i've aged i'm constantly freaked out about how unnatural it is for humans to be hurtling through space in these death machines at speeds (and i'm talking as low as 30 mph here) that we just shouldnt be doing. now that i'm essentially a daily microdoser (abuser) of delta 8 mommy weed my patience behind the wheel has increased, but my phear of being murdered by another driver--whether via impact or a road rage incident involving a freeedom tool--has as well. luckily thanks to the nature of my work, proximity to our meager public transit and my bike i've cut my time in a car down to levels i would have never thought possible.

i want to revise my earlier post. i said "i noticed a line of cars in the turn lane, waiting behind someone snoozing at a red light." it was hopefully clear from the context of the rest of my traffic report (in the Elon Musk thread), but this car that i lightly honked at was snoozing at a _green light_. it wasn't just that they could make a right on a red and that they weren't doing it -- this light was green.

also p embarrassed by how aggro I was behind the wheel in my 20s-early 30s. which tbf compared to Atl traffic ca 2022 was fairly negligible. even so it’s kind of amazing there aren’t more murders by car every day

crazy thing about cars is their immediate danger and warping of human psychology isnt even the worst part about them compared to the societal and environmental impacts of pollution global warming suburbanization alienation increased policing and so forth

lol yes same. I typed red but meant green

cars and drivers are like warped human minds wrapped in a mysterious passenger cabin inside a beautiful, best in class exterior

i always say that

someone needs to make a magazine for these cars and their driver, asking them both where are they going

this is like low-tier friedman now, where you just yell at passing cars and ask their drivers where they are going

where are you going oh to work ok haha yeah me too man my job is having opinions

in a flat world, we all have opinions, it's just that some of them are worth more than others. i spoke with one local driver to find out why:

"where are you going?!?"
"whaaat? i had my window up!"
"where is your car going?" i asked
"no, i don't have any money!" he said as his window smoothly closed.

call them Distributed Opinion Dollars!

that's joe biden's economy for you

someone needs to make a magazine for these cars and their driver, asking them both where are they going

― Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, June 9, 2022 2:37 PM (twenty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Omg, this is bringing back memories of my dad writing joke letters into Car and Driver magazine in the early 80s, which apparently was a common thing for the readership then. My Dad signed one as “Ralph Nader” and my recollection is it claimed he bought his suits at Kmart and liked their chili dogs. It got printed in the magazine and Nader threatened the magazine with libel so they had to print a retraction that it was not in fact Ralph Nader.

lmao

It was too late though, the Kmart suit + chili dog rumor had already spread far beyond the Car and Driver readership

He was a dad and so were his jokes.

PBKR that is amazing

Important Correction: It was corn dogs, not chili dogs.

Lol yeah that's hilarious.

designing the autopilot program to shut off less than a second before impact so your company can deny it was the cause of the impact is simply epic pic.twitter.com/Ur4OXHmMXU

— jeff dirt (@muttgomery) June 10, 2022

“your honour when i said full self-driving i had my fingers crossed so it didn’t count”

a self driving Tesla is going to have to literally kill a conservative justice before anything happens to this doofus

lmao all hands with elon musk this week

elon doesn’t understand the difference between gender and sex, so let me explain:

gender is a person’s internal perception of themselves, whereas sex is what a trans woman is having with his wife right now https://t.co/04IMgTI4Th

— ellie (@misandryinc) June 12, 2022

wow lol

its weird that the entire right is using "what is a woman?" as some sort of gotcha question when it's like...clearly a made up concept. you don't have woman birds or man birds. lady birds perhaps. but a "woman" is strictly a human thing! we know about the whole gender spectrum in part because it exists in other mammals!!

dogs are boys and cats are girls iirc

a lady condor just had a baby without a man condor, they're not needed anymore

someone from venus

Boys come from Jupiter to get more stupider

"what is a woman?"

that paragon of masculinity matt walsh (rw idiot troll, NOT hilarious guy from Veep) really getting some mileage out of this

The question is as about as meaningful as "What is a bro?"

mommy what is a funkadelic

Elon Musk comes to defense of 'Libs of TikTok' over Twitter death threats https://t.co/MZjHnysXjE pic.twitter.com/ogLBGkKsfw

— New York Post (@nypost) June 14, 2022

These people are such fucking marks

the "radical leftist" who supposedly DM'd Libs of TikTok to threaten her was actually a right wing fan of hers who thought she would get his sarcasm and enjoy his joke pic.twitter.com/o5DijIsgE0

— Matt Binder (@MattBinder) June 14, 2022

Launched into the sun

My favorite Velvet Underground outtake.

lag00n iirc this is your pet theory

We obtained internal $TSLA documents from a number of whistleblowers that prove that Tesla and Elon Musk have been defrauding investors for years in a variety of different ways. But the most important is that Tesla has been lying about how many cars it sells.

— PlainSite (@PlainSite) June 15, 2022

wasn't this all well-known for years? didn't someone actually spot a parking lot full of "sold" Teslas in Arizona or something?

is this going to be like when college professors make their students buy their crappy book

to drive up "sales", i mean

that was a common trick with Scientologists, to keep Hubbard's shitty books on the NYTimes bestseller list

L. Ron and Elon seem to share some personality traits

I'm not going to read that tweet thread or do any actual research on my own, but when every single fucking car on the road is already a Tesla, why would they want to lie about how many they sell?

to get into the s&p500 to boost their stock price?

to have a market cap 5 times ford and toyota combined?

when every single fucking car on the road is already a Tesla

i see a lot of teslas these days too. the other day a tesla parked next to me as i was walking downtown and three people got out of it and actually irl right there on the sidewalk in front of me started shouting at each other about whose fault it was the door locks weren't working. they wanted to leave their tesla, skirt their way around the homeless, and patronize one of our many fine downtown boutiques; but they couldn't because the door locks weren't working, and they blamed each other. they opened and closed doors and tugged on handles and fumed and barked "try it now" and "no stop just stop!" it was so pornographic i thought it had to be a dream, but it wasn't.