If you could pack up and move your whole life, where would you go?

Coming from the cracked halfwit who just told a trans person they may have been the problem

― imago

having said that please do not use my transness as supporting evidence as to why xyzzzz is a dum-dum and you are a smarty-smart, it comes off as kinda tokenizing and gross tbh

the road to hell eh

say hi to harry benjamin when you get there

Mexico City seems to contain everywhere. I'd move there first and then figure out how many blocks and in which direction to move finally.

I’ve never been. But a very well-traveled old friend of mine has always loved Mexico City the most. I need to be at least Duolingo unit 7 before I will allow myself to visit, even though I know anyone would be able to pick me out as the guy who doesn’t know things and would just start off with English to spare both of us the indignity of me having to compliment their green shirt, blue shoes, and very pretty hat.

It's _also_ - and people who don't live here maybe don't realize this - functionally not one country.

This is a very good point. I'd just add that ime many americans (not meaning you, Kate) don't appreciate this about other countries where it is also more or less the case.

I thought about the thread premise, but my answers swing between nowhere and far too many other ideas (I also really liked New Orleans on my one visit). I don't know, I'm a twice-over immigrant, so I tend to adapt to my circumstances while never really feeling like I belong somewhere indefinitely. Having immigrated as an adult, I now know just how romanticized the idea of picking up and moving to a new country can be, while paradoxically I also think more people should consider it

say hi to harry benjamin when you get there

― Kate (rushomancy)

look i wanna apologize for that response. the fuck do you know about harry benjamin? i feel like i wanna do better than that.

i know this is gonna sound weird given that i'm the lady for whom literally fucking everything is about my being trans, but what xyzzzzzzz said had nothing to do with my being trans. they said some stuff and i disagreed in a fairly vehement fashion and honestly i feel we'd kind of reached an "agree to disagree" state on things, which for the topic at hand is perfectly acceptable.

and what you said kind of pissed me off for the reasons i outlined previously, like it kind of came off like white knighting and you know how long have we known each other here? a long-ass time. but also because there's a general problem, which is that a lot of people are fucking terrified of me. like when i talk about reclaiming my own monstrosity it's not just that transphobes think i come from the maw of hell or whatever, it's the way _allies_ act sometimes. there's a lot of shit i want to talk about sometimes, a lot of false assumptions people have, and if people aren't going to talk to me at all about anything important for fear of saying the Wrong Thing people are going to keep having those false assumptions.

like i know it's not my _responsibility_ to explain myself or justify my existence to anybody else, but it's something i personally want to do, which i can't do if cis people are remaining silent out of fear that they'll say the Bad Thing and have to cower in shame. like no you're not going to hell because you white knighted and tokenized me in some dumb internet argument, i just kind of hoped given that we kind of know each other that i could say "hey maybe don't do that" and that could be it.

anyway i've never been to nola or to mexico city but they both sound like fucking cool places to live!

enjoy reading your posts, Kate

I liked New Orleans when I visited too, but even in May it felt like an intense steam bath, I could not go outside for any length of time during the day

oh we planned our trip in April precisely to avoid the summer. I live in Miami, yet I've never known heat like the mephitic formal swamp like DC. New Orleans is also below sea level, no?

The heat and humidity in DC are NY in the summer are bad, almost unbearable, and when you're walking around you have to duck into an air conditioned shop every couple of blocks, but my experiences visiting New Orleans and Houston feel like they are on a different level

I've only been full summer in New Orleans once, it's pretty miserable. But I grew up in Rust Belt winters, I'm used to having a miserable season. Linen suits and ceiling fans are more fun than Duck boots and kerosene heaters.

Plus my wife says the miserable summers kind of bring everyone together in shared suffering. Like Carnival in reverse, but still a civic bonding.

bought land years ago in VT for my eventual retreat. that said, if i ever wanted to go place somewhere during the winter months, i fell in love with my visit to New Orleans and would go there again in a heartbeat. never understood the Florida appeal for the northern section of the US.

My brother has himself set up nicely in Vermont, he's a bit of an evangelist for it. He has a log house, he's teaching his kids to ski, he makes his own maple syrup, the whole deal. And works remotely for tech companies, I think he's on his third job since he moved up there and it's all been from their house. A bit remote for me, I think places to go and things to do, but I get the appeal.

I want places to go and things to do, I mean

This thread makes me think of Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates. The author treats the couple's plan to move to Paris as the embodiment of deluded wishing, but then he also treats a poorly-performed amateur play as a crushing humiliation. So to avoid extreme pessimism, perhaps stay away from this book while thinking of living elsewhere.

haven't read it but i'm told there is astonishing alcoholism involved as well. sounds like a challenge

I would move back to the UP of Michigan.

oh dear god, why would you do that? whereabouts did you spend time up there?

would also UP

i like the UP! for camping, at least. had a few wonderful times there.

xps

What you really need to avoid is being a character in a Richard Yates novel, things don't work out great.

alas

xp But then there's The Ambassadors by Henry James, where going to Paris is transformative.

Personally, I find that I am a far more socially adept person when I am speaking a foreign language. It may have something to do with ADHD; it's hard to talk too much when you're speaking another language, and any little oddities in how you talk or engage with people get buffered by the language barrier. And any vibes of trying too hard can easily pass as the natural effort involved in speaking a new language in a new culture. So in that sense, living abroad is a very different experience because people see me differently and I respond accordingly.

Seems many here have fallen in love with New Orleans as I did. Did no one have the experience a friend of mine had: it’s dirty, smelly, too hot, too poor, food’s too rich and spicy, etc. etc.? They couldn’t wait to leave.

New Orleans for the winter months - could never bring myself to live in the southeast during the summer months.

Seems many here have fallen in love with New Orleans as I did. Did no one have the experience a friend of mine had: it’s dirty, smelly, too hot, too poor, food’s too rich and spicy, etc. etc.? They couldn’t wait to leave.

I've been there several times, enjoyed visiting, would happily go back again, felt no particular desire to live there, I think this rather than the two above is probably the modal response

whereabouts did you spend time up there?

I grew up in the Keweenaw and still have family and friends there. It's weird but it's home, lots of fresh water and very pretty.

could see why. i remember having some rare decent food at the Pizza Hut in Houghton in the 90s.

Suprised so many of you want to go to NZ. Why there? Why not Melbourne or Sydney if you want the antipodean life? I'd be worried about all the earthquakes.

I have done many things I regret in my life, but suddenly moving to a country where I didn't speak the language and didn't know anyone was 100% a great idea, culture shock is the spice of life. While I might be more successful professionally now if I'd stayed in the UK, the idea of having spent my 20s and 30s in this grey, sarcastic shithole is not a nice thought.

the question was obviously 'if money/family/etc is no object'

The question is more interesting if it assumes money/family/etc limitations, otherwise you’re likely to end up with Sting ‘property portfolio’ style answers: Tuscan vineyard, country estate in England, Queen Anne house in Westminster, apartments in Manhattan and Battersea Power Station.

xp Same

the question sounds more like a forever thing though so I dunno. Was never going to stay in Japan long term.

My guess on the appeal of NZ: Flying Nun, Look Blue Go Purple, the Clean; the Maori

the Beths

The question is more interesting if it assumes money/family/etc limitations, otherwise you’re likely to end up with Sting ‘property portfolio’ style answers: Tuscan vineyard, country estate in England, Queen Anne house in Westminster, apartments in Manhattan and Battersea Power Station.

― Luna Schlosser, Wednesday, 1 June 2022 11:16 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

do you really think that low of us, the Battersea apartment complex is genuinely one of the worst places I have ever visited

would have hoped people might opt for choices a little more imaginative than clichéd wealth enclaves

I grew up in the Keweenaw and still have family and friends there. It's weird but it's home, lots of fresh water and very pretty.

― underminer of twenty years of excellent contribution to this borad (dan m), Wednesday, June 1, 2022 4:12 AM (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

I'm currently set up to inherit a small property in northern lower MI, except of course that the owner is only slightly older than me, so I hope I don't get it and I just pass it down a generation.

But yes, water + pretty = I think about it a lot.

(X-post)

Oh dear. Everyone seems to be disappointing your high ideals!

(I was listing Sting’s property portfolio btw.)

You haven’t mentioned what might motivate you to stray from the urban paradise of Charlton SE7.

imago, please reexamine your posts and recognize what a condescending ass you're being toward people who are sincerely trying to answer the question.

Did no one have the experience a friend of mine had: it’s dirty, smelly, too hot, too poor, food’s too rich and spicy, etc. etc.? They couldn’t wait to leave.

tbf I've know people who react the same way to NYC — maybe not the too hot (tho in late July ...), but definitely too dirty, smelly, etc. Some people like their urban areas a little more urbane. New Orleans is a ramshackle city perennially falling into the ocean, beset by centuries of racism, corruption and general decadence of all kinds. It's the opposite of tidy, for sure. But it has a civic spirit and commitment to joy in the face of doom that is increasingly in line with my own worldview.

xpost yes, threadban plz

sick of imago/xyzzzzz beefs shitting up literally every thread lately

i remember having some rare decent food at the Pizza Hut in Houghton in the 90s.

The origin of your screen name, presumably?

Suprised so many of you want to go to NZ. Why there? Why not Melbourne or Sydney if you want the antipodean life? I'd be worried about all the earthquakes.

― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Wednesday, June 1, 2022 3:44 AM bookmarkflaglink

just what i've read about it, and also I have a friend who spent some time there and loved it. buuuuut if I were to actually consider moving there I'd probably dig deeper than anecdotal stories.

are they allowing people to emigrate there atm? I know during the first few years of pandemic (god it sickened me to write that) I think that was a hard 'no'.

Somewhere between Lisbon and Porto seems good to me rn

Plus my wife says the miserable summers kind of bring everyone together in shared suffering. Like Carnival in reverse, but still a civic bonding.

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra)

ah yes, i remember the first month of covid too

Seems many here have fallen in love with New Orleans as I did. Did no one have the experience a friend of mine had: it’s dirty, smelly, too hot, too poor

― Three Rings for the Elven Bishop (Dan Peterson)

so are you deliberately quoting my online dating profile or what?

i'm not gonna lie - to me the NZ fantasy is all about seeing where sauron lord of the rings came to be

i was also impressed when they had a mass shooting and immediately banned semi-automatic weapons. (i realize a similar response has happened in other countries where mass shootings have occurred, including the well-known continent of australia. but none of those other countries have sean bean

that action played a lot into my decision making as well. but honestly I think I had just seen Hunt for the Wilderpeople and decided I loved New Zealand.