"Can I say you're my girlfriend on Facebook?"

man, there are a lot of other drummers with my name:

http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/v223/58/56/n1841045822_3535.jpg

which one of yous is J4mi3 H4rl3y btw? i know it's an ilxor but sorry, i hv no idea who you are. it's prob someone obvs, right?

Hmm, very sorry about that. I guess it was maybe rude sending requests without a personnal message, but I'm very new to Facebook and still don't know the etiquette. I started posting on ILx a long time ago (when it was still hosted by Greenspun). You may not be familiar with my username cause I don't post very often (mostly because I'm not that confident with my english : I'm technically a brit but I have spent all my life in France).

Hey don't worry, you did/speak fine. :-)

my name is so common that it has its own group

Thanks a lot Stevienixed.

oh yeah i noticed your username/real name the other day... forgot i asked that on this thread. hi! nah it's fine for ilxors to add me, it's just that a lot of the time i have no idea who anyone is.

thread title just happened

Someone asked you to be his girlfriend on Facebook?

No, he asked his girlfriend to change his status to "in a relationship with..." obviously.

Oh, Tuomas, girls can have girlfriends, too, you know!

x-post

Oh, I thought "girlfriend on Facebook" meant like pretend girlfriend, i.e. girlfriend on Facebook only.

I would never put my relationship status on Facebook, because if you break up and change your status to single, apparently all of your Facebook friends will get a notification of that, and I don't really want to make public announcements about that sort of thing.

No, you'd hide it forever and ever.

Of course I'd tell my close friends about it, in real life. But I wouldn't want all of my 100+ Facebook friends to get this announcement.

My ex and I actually staged an argument across Twitter and Facebook before ending our relationship on Facebook. Everyone thought we were joking.

Staged? Why would you do such a thing?

they probably just said that to be polite

Cause it was fun. xp

We had a ott soap opera style BUT HOW COULD YOU on twitter and then ended the relationship on Facebook and got a bunch of "lol" responses. We then had to explain that the argument had been a joke but the breakup was real.

I realize that this is not normal behavior.

Our own little Baker 'n' Moakler. ;-)

i like the "now single" announcement. saves me having to ring previous ex's myself for the rebound sex.

just realized that you can prevent facebook from making a big ol' announcement when you change your relationship status etc. (after i changed it, of course).

also i was disappointed that when i removed the "interested in: women" field, it didn't say "jordan is no longer interested in women".

They know you better than a silly faux-change. ;-)

So how do you goabout not making it public?

settings > privacy > news feed & wall > uncheck 'change relationship status' or whatever

you can also hit "hide" at th end of the "story" or whatever.

i think 'hide' only removes it from your own wall, though, not from the news feed of your friends

shit!

http://10.media.tumblr.com/eDQpm1VFVqht8tncHt8OYNezo1_500.png

http://21.media.tumblr.com/eDQpm1VFVqggb0ug71ZQrNSgo1_500.png

jordan you are my fb friend and i did not receive this urgent news, fyi

hahahahaha

http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/try-again1.jpg

meanwhile, i'm currently experiencing my first facebook-friend serious illness. a guy who i used to work with and am very fond of -- even though i haven't seen him in several years -- has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. prognosis is not good. and it's a weird thing, because under normal, pre-online-network circumstances, i would have only heard about this vaguely and from a distance, probably from mutual friends. but now i'm watching it, still from a distance, but in great intimate detail, one status update at a time. it's sort of wrenching, and of course i can't do anything except keep writing notes to him. which is good, i think he really needs all the emotional support he can get, on facebook or anywhere else. so i think it's a positive function of facebook overall.

but it's still a weird feeling, to be scrolling down the home page past the various kinds of daily-clutter posts and run into his latest grim test results. and i think it would be much weirder if he were one of those facebook friends who i don't really know that well (or at all). i'm comfortable talking with him about this stuff because we're old friends, but if he were just a casual acquaintance or a friend of a friend, i wouldn't know what if anything to say. it would feel invasive in a way to even read it. but at the same time it would seem sort of bad form to drop someone in that situation from a friends' list. i don't know. i imagine a lot more things like this will come up.

I think you can drop person from your news feed without dropping him from your friends list, if you don't want to read his updates.

no i want to read his updates. it's just ... strange.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2648/3695517494_a279e0f8e6.jpg

^^^ A++++ last comment.

haha

Good to know that you can prevent notices about certain things going out to everyone on your friends list. I was thinking about that recently and it really started to weird me out. Thanks for the info, Jordan.

yeah one of my exes didn't turn the feed thing off when we broke up - went to a party that night and had about six different people come up to me going "omg you broke up with xxxxxx?????"

I don't really post any personal stuff on there anymore since I have about 15 random ppl from HS as friends now but it's nice to know that that there is an option to switch off that kind of thing.

I dont say anything personal on FB at all - my mother reads mine, and she quizzes anything negative I say, eg if I say I was sick shes in my face worrying. So all y'all get from me now is 2 line silly nothings, thanks family.

i've got all kinds of family on facebook - mom, dad, both sisters, cousins, my fucking grandmother - but i've learned not to give a shit

^^^

hahaha I still give a shit. There are some things not everyone needs to know - at least not all at once.

Wow okay so this 'Stalker Check' application appears to actually work...

My top stalker is my wife... Not really a surprise.

For privacy reasons, this app only lists users who have interacted with your profile at least once during your friendship (e.g. by writing on your wall, or liking something). Real stalkers (the creepy kind) are protected by Facebook Privacy, and will never be revealed, by this or any other app.
Shame about that, could have been fun (or scary).

What's the stalker check application called? I couldn't find it.

http://apps.facebook.com/stalkercheck/

Whoa, my top stalker is my ex! I didn't expect that.

my mother in law is my top stalker (!!)