It's ok to write poems and put them here

In fact after pacing the living room early morn, smoking and drinking, I realised what song it was niggling me to play, it was Blackness by Arab Strap. Summat about speeding deadeyed through country roads. So I listened to that song and it was great and I can go back to bed now thank you

firstup flip a coin, wave your hands it's gone for good
glaze in your eyes gives away your route to food
secondov multililly and just take a mint to breathe
they know finewell other card is up your sleeve
thirdface nonexistent, fingerguns and that's your lot
take deep breathe and whoosh reflect on all forgot
jankiyell the last time, this one for all the marbs
we'll feed yer maw if they agree to stick to carbs

rousen up the deadbones pick the cat up down yon lane
take two interventions to decide whose drum to blame
lather up pianner and spin it twice for luck
start lines with a zed if it gets you out the muck
seventeen is evergreen, no one walks out clean
no respect for patter but they all loved the lean
burn the dismal sentinels, what's yer backyard for?
bumpbumpbomp y'rellers when you pick me off the floor

clever kids and flauty fuds are running the estate
scurvy son bought flashybangs but turned up far too late
jennyfash is judging me, i think i look no bad
line it up on front lawn, the best we ever had?
the rescue chooks admittedly are balder than expected
but layman overbooks are better when reflected
protect the squinty mammies from all selfmade young teams
come spend a day here and you'll work out what that means

actually, switch "overbooks" for "copybooks"

also "multililly" should be "lilywhites"

Now Can You See Me

Last we spoke we were in the woods
I had eaten two or three mushroom heads
and went to find the tallest, thickest tree
I wasn’t looking for epiphany
but there really was a very, very long moment
staring up at the structure of its development
still growing at the tips

when the sun really did burst out from behind the clouds
and found its way through the April limbs and leaves
so beautifully that I fell to my knees

and thought about when all the light shone for one
and what if that could happen to us all
so I could be with you again and undo what had been done

In the April Wisconsin breeze
My rented cabin visible through the trees
the tears filling up the bottoms of my eyes
knowing that it wasn’t happening
and the clouds were quickly coming back
I offered a compromise toward the sky

Please
Can you at least see me
Trying, trying
See me struggling
Struggling with what you said

Though I completely rejected your method
You couldn’t see an alternate
Most nights I couldn’t wait to drive off and forget

Thinking, you can’t catch me
You won’t see me

The difference between now and then is
an understanding that we both believed
in things that could never be proven
like keeping going when you’re losing badly
or treating a one-way conversation with the wind
as a turning point in a relationship

I want to let go of all of it
Except these things

You taught me to trust myself
You didn’t try to argue with me
You believed that I had decent reasons
Even if you didn’t understand them
You were very patient with me
Would that I have offered the same to you

The sun was covered again
the tallest tree dropped the last leaves from last year
as the wind picked up
and the linseed oil kept my palette wet
back at the cabin
thinking, now that you can’t catch me
now can you see me

I just did something brave
I just did something bad

Something of an itinerant
burning books of magic

An old memory, perfected
looping
disintegrating
recorded, listened
I listen

Something of a Scavenger

I can be found
Digging through discarded matter
Finding things I had forgotten
Turning back the corners of rotten calendars
Covered up with coffee grounds and egg shells
Every day is a field day for the earthworms

The mess left behind after an explosion
Waking up in a different zip code

So often, it’s after an ending
when we finally begin
to walk again with a sense of purpose
I saw myself making another promise

to forget the past and

to try to come back to being in the moment

but if that is living, as I speak now or as you hear it
then what is it when we are dreaming
when we submit to the moment’s whims
Sensing another and catching a glimpse
of unrepeatable depths of subconsciousness

You try to go back and it looks like mist

Moving through walls that shift
like sand sifting through
cracks in the ceiling
Throw a tarp over the most expensive
Rug that keeps going and going

A long conversation turning in on itself

(I try to turn the light back on)

The lost can be found
Looking for traces of their lives in the remains
of a time that still feels frozen

All those hand moves you've beem mocking me for?
I've been trying to restrain, but I've decided NO MORE
Imma let them run rampant, but you deserve a cheatsheet
Just so in future you know what I'm going for

First off, that two fingers against the thumb?
That's the standard, it just means I'm thinking
Maybe I can't find the right word
It's called STIMMING, never call me out for that

Secondly, the wave that follows, accidentally towards your face?
That just means I'm finished with my thought
I never meant to threaten violence towards you
Not just now, or any other of them times

Thirdly, the drumming on the bar?
It accompanies the subtle gaze around
Maybe some teuchter in here wants to do me harm
It never hurts to be cautious

The full-on hand swivel, originates at the wrist?
fingers splayed, while I'm in conversation
That means I don't trust that person
Get me out, please somehow GET ME OUT

The clenched fists, rubbing up and down my jeans?
Means I can tell that somehow I've fucked up
I don't get facial cues but I can tell by your vocal tone
That I'll prolly walk home tonight

With a bang of the gavel
the time to travel arrives.

Aching and weary
I say my teary goodbyes.

The prisoner in my mind
is in no kind of condition

to note our cognitive dissonance
ever since he stopped listening.

To me it was the crime
and the hard times that followed

which made the sound of my advice
to change our life ring so hollow.

Somebody had to keep the plates spinning
when I was sinning in the wilderness.

But it was then that my inner voice
made a choice to narrate my mess

It began to influence the movement of my body.
I sensed it plotting to change my direction

and pushed back against its arrangements
to swerve my ship around icy obstructions.

I think we both tried to take the helm
and quell the other’s resistance

If we were thirsty for plot development
for a moment it was quenched.

My wreck was accompanied by sad violins.
Since then it’s mostly been the silent treatment.

Unanswered questions
festering intent.

The great editor in the sky
realizes there will be no mending

of an independent film
with a horse-sized pill of an ambiguous ending

revision

The prisoner in my mind
was in no kind of condition

to note our cognitive dissonance
ever since he stopped listening.

To me it was the crime
and the hard times that followed

which made the sound of my advice
to change our life ring so hollow.

Somebody had to keep the plates spinning
while I was sinning in the wilderness.

But it was then that my inner voice
made a choice to narrate my mess

It began to influence the movement of my body.
I sensed it plotting to change my direction

and pushed back against its arrangements
to swerve my ship around icy obstructions.

I think we both tried to take the helm
and quell the other’s resistance.

We were thirsty for plot development.
For a moment it was quenched.

The wreck was accompanied by sad violins.
Since then it’s mostly been the silent treatment.

Unanswered questions
festering intent.

Two bodies in water that is choppy
with temperatures dropping rapidly.

In the last days of the storm
I ached for his reformed voice to speak back to me.

I wanted our feet back on the ground.
but my efforts amounted to nothing.

I only had myself to thank.
My heart sank while we were floating.

Sank to the very bottom of the ocean
A motion to plead guilty.

Guilty to the very last drop.
But which things should I stop doing.

With a bang of the gavel
the time to travel arrives.

Nodding and weary
I say my teary goodbyes

to the other side of my reflection
the section that once tried

It’s not my farm to sell.
Tell them truth or tell them lies.

through a combo of my computer being destroyed, trying to do some weird bullshit via the accessibility options accessible via pressing the power button 3 times in succession, some bad luck, and some worse judgment, i somehow completely destroyed my Notes file of poems. i posted a lot of them on here, but i almost always updated them afterward and changed a lot of things. i am an idiot. but that's ok. i feel like a tornado just destroyed everything, and it's nice to start with nothing in some ways

:(

Seventyskyline, look west and then lie
I've met yer imaginary friend
Seriously we gunna start on them boys?
Kevincusin always looked out for yerma

the devintyfellas have a deep lefteye
eyeball straight at yer family
Whose got their hand up? I only count one or two
I shout for Ceirwen, the only one bornteshit

and then the room shout kicks you out of your reverie
show your hands, naw, it's not important
you know this kids, naw skid just back off of it
you found your corner, just take deep breaths and then wut

Imembered this boy, for whatever it's worth
Duntree algoth, I still member him stillstill
Hands off me, I REMEMBER THAT EVENING
Flock yer pockets, you know it's the truth

i almost always updated them afterward and changed a lot of things

the important changes happened in yer brain. don't reset it to the factory defaults and yer ok.

Levanti child, pick yourself from the floor
"devinty" means there's twenty of them or more
Solitude solitude, then shout for help with math singular
The uni fuck just forgot what I said

Lebben birthdaycakes you'll feel in the morning
Lebben Smarties for a skelp from yer maw
Boycott Nestle for a wink from the old yin
Boycott Tuesday, shouting into the void

KLF doc, I think The Kid almost gets it
Solitude onetime means the sqaure root of one
Flip all cards you please, they all say the same thing
I'll just squint and pretend I see your face

Foxtrot to instructions but I wasn't listening
Realike vertract to a number of sins
Throw the pills up high, they'll come down in slow motion
The retelling said they sparkled in the air

Maybe stop slurring your words, just replace "bornteshit"with "born to this shit". Also not happy with "then wut" but I have no solution for that, "what" would be an improvement but still not correct. No memory of what "Duntree algoth" was meant to mean but I'm happy to roll with that cus I like it aesthetically. The second part seems legit IT'S ALL ONE POEM!

"Duntree" surely means frequently, contextually "algoth" must refer to being wasted on some particular drug? I am glad I explained to myself what "devintry" meant in a later verse, "levanti" I think refers to lifting up.

"vertract" maybe some sort of withdrawal or religious spurning. "Lebben" maybe refers to consumption? Translation from my blackout state is tough...

ELEVENTY THOUSAND! I'm as surprised as you are
Let's count our blessings and walk back to the pub
Just keep your mouth shut, here's a nugget for jukebox
Wipe the smirk off your face, we have to socialise

Layla outro, pretend it's coincidence
Nah, I donno where your kid is at
Member that carride where he paid like a puggy?
No idea what you're talking about...

Seventies villains still wear the same jackets
If I kill him I can steal his shoes
Swedish midwife is wagging her finger
I can wait, check my feet, I can wait

Some of these children grew up in my mother's house
Let's find Michael and doublecheck
I remember that haircut, I remember that scuff-the-floor
Pretend you lived somwhere else

The way the teens guard me, the fact they're carrying tools
Flints a fire deep down in my chest
The way they slinked off when you had that heart issue
Means I should talk to their dad

I'd chill with The Priestess, but she lives up the heavy hill
I severed that ribbon many months ago
That twitchy lane, with the geese and the enemy?
I'll have the youth burn it down

#onepoem

It was a travel league. Since our home field was flooded, we always played in another town, riding on the bus through the valley.

Several times, that year, it was homecoming for the other team. In retrospect, I know the reason was, the home team, naturally, hosting their homecoming, would usually plan to win the game, so they’d arrange the league’s schedule to play the worst team. That would be us.

As it was happening, it was always a surprise, at least to me.

The parking lot dust passed through the open windows. When we made our sweaty exit from the bus, some of it was on my forehead.

I saw their marching band gathering. I saw one of the kids struggling with a big bass drum. It was about as big as him. He was a rail thin wicket. He was trying not to look like it was too heavy, but it was. The harness dug deep into the shoulders. All the same he stood in line.

I heard them making fun of him.

The game quickly got out of hand. I was sitting on the bench, as I was accustomed, watching the players, watching the crowd.

I saw an ambulance parked behind the wire fence. Fireflies arranged musically on the practice field behind the lot. Pairs of lights smoothly moving on the highway. So many bugs flying way up in the bright lights.

I saw the coach’s assistant to the assistant, adjusting his headset.

The band played Land of 1000 Dances. It was over. We went 0 and 10.

I saw the bass drum kid, afterward.

Several years afterward. He had left for college and came back round. He was a sweet kid.

He wore new clothes and acted differently. We made eye contact but he didn’t recognize me.

The bar at the end of the world
Was surprisingly busy
A couple of regulars were there
All people I didn’t want to see

heaven is a place
where no one gets sick
because when they get sick
they get kicked out of heaven

Karl is that earlier one a Marilyn Haggerty review of an away game?

honestly, i have no idea what that means! :D

so no, it is not. but i want to hear more lol

i just posted an updated version on my instagram, *burp**

Oh I was just referencing the newspaper food writer from Grand Forks who was famous for reviewing Olive Garden a while back; her prose has that kind of floating, detached poetry to it as well. Marilyn Haggerty's amazing Olive Garden review and the subsequent viral shitstorm

i KNEW the name sounded familiar, lol! but i could only think of merle haggard, threw me off ;)

Would you like to receive personalized recommendations?
Would you mind if I received them instead?
Can I add them to my great ball pit of better options
and play the crane game with a pair of chopsticks?

haiku

You did a no growth.
Attach the stone of lossless
Insipidity

30 day notice
Hour long session
Receiving packages
Do you really want to

haiku

What is up with toads
It’s like frogs are one thing but
What is up with toads

TRIANGLES

This is not a poem
I just wanted to place that word here
To remind myself to write about TRIANGLES
(this weekend)

When I can afford to be unsober
At least enough to write
...something
(something about TRIANGLES?)

tbh I've already forgot
My important thoughts about TRIANGLES
But maybe the sight of that word is a madeline
And they will rush back, Proustianlike

So when I'm next in this vicinity
When my veins are more liquor than blood
Remind me to talk about TRIANGLES
(maybe football-related? I forget)

You're sat on my sofa and I don't know how to calm you
let's pretend that it's two thousand and four
"actually my band is named THE RAGDOLL PHYSISISTS"
I won't spell it right for a few more months
Yeah you're right, "PROGRESSIVE POWERUPS" would funnier
But I'm a child, more relevantly I'm stubborn
Give it some years, I'll kick that boy to the kerb
And feel the need to rewrite the whole affair

If it's 2004 let's go visit My Mother
And see if there's new text on her table
Jade wrote "Miss Hunny Pussy", I'll get a row for that later
But Sharris will flex, and put a tenner in her swear jar
Let's hunker on her lawn and wait for the explosion
Cos sadly Fiona is no longer alive to recreate the actual scene
I'm waiting for My Mother to go visit her real family
So I can set teens on this spot to spar, for my amusement

But it's twenty twenty two, and I still carry the same knife
That old man still ain't turned up, let's just write him off by now
They can throw all the rocks they want, I'll just volley them back
42, still got it, a sweet left foot (and shin)

The way I hold the unlit cigarette in my hand
Lengthwise alongside the Clipper
Finishing my IMPORTANT point before I exit the building?
(no doubt waving the other hand, pinpointing invisible stuff in the air)
It was just pointed out to me TODAY
By an IMPORTANT, BEAUTIFUL person
That that is a gesture I clearly picked up from My Mother
Right enough, I see it now
I just never noticed before
Unlike all my siblings, I don't physically resemble her
As previously discussed, I take after [my father]
FOR MY SINS!
But now it has been pointed out
That is one thing that will live on of My Mother
When she dies
(cus cmon, she's gunna die eventually)
Only one of her other children smokes
And I have not observed how he holds an unlit cigarette
I will take nothing from [my father]
Except I guess this bruised face
Maybe he's already dead?
(he was looking pretty rough last time we spoke)
He could barely speak
FOR HIS SINS!
Pretty sure he was breaking numerous lockdowns
A pink sweatshirt, advertising some Korean nursey
Maybe signifies a third (or fourth?) family
Yellow stains down the front
I'm guessing mustard? Fuck knows...
But I hold the unlit cigarette identical to My Mother
And that counts like a million times more
Than (I just remembered) the fag burns on my arm
From his scumbag hun colleagues

FIRST OF ALL:
I was never aware of what went down in Egersund
i was a child, I was barely awake
Like, a kitten who's eyes were not quite open
I was present, just didn't understand
I just remember the hushed conversations
Before I was noticed, then hustled away
Two times I watched Spurs play friendlies against Viking
Lineker, Gascoigne, the way they spoke of Gascoigne, even then

The other thing I remember was something horrific
A man on fire in a shopping cart
Imprinted on me, but I've worked it out now
It was Manhunter on VHS, right?
Oh, one other thing was my toddler sister
Downing any glass of spirits she toddled across
It was funny to grownups, I think they maybe encouraged it
But guess what? She turned out OK

SECONDLY:
Those times in that flat in Camden Town
Only me and my sister, the two non-bedwetters
We slept on the floor of my father's living room
Second time in a cinema, first experience of penguins
The times when the neighbour below came and chapped the door
Cus we were making too much noise
The pure fury on the face of my father
"your daughter's trying to sleep? YOUR DAUGHTER'S SEVENTEEN!"

I genuinely thought I was the big man
My bedwetter brother had to stay with my aunt
I knew he also got to the cinema for Batman
I never knew the rest til he let it slip months later
My auntie also took him to Dick Tracy!
I was fuming, thinking I'd missed out
Decades later, we can laugh about it
We both agree that film was Kinda Shit

THIRD:
[ENTIRELY REDACTED, SEXUAL ABUSE AND SUCH]

FORD:
I don't see my father these days
I can make Pavement jokes to my brother about his current whereabouts
Career/Korea, I haven't quite got the punchline
But yknow, it's/I'm a work in progress
My new father is a guy called Al, or Bert?
I recall the relevance of the album "Hirt Plays Bert", but not the direction
I just know he freqeuntly stands in front of Judy
Maybe we both need to cut down on the drink

Like I just want to say, blaming everthing on alcohol?
Makes me uneasy slash narked slash actually fucking furious
As an alcoholic can I just say: I never hit a woman
Alcohol makes me fall around the room
Makes me a stuttery incoherent fool
Never not one instance made me "violent"
My father was a violent drunk (but I'm not sure if I ever met him sober)
Yeah he beat me whilst drunk, beat My Mother whilst drunk
BUT! (and here's the point right here)
Maybe he is/was just a violent person
Maybe sobriety just keeps your natural feelings down
Maybe I'm naturally an incoherent stumbly fool

Alcohol lets me talk to people
Cus Sober Me really wants to talk to people!
Alcohol stops the buzzing in my head
So I can concentrate on "hey, how YOU doing?"
I shouldn't mix it with meds, cus then I wake up in a van
(TRUE STORY, let's not get into it now)
I promised that Lady I'd explain about THE TRIANGLES
But next day it seems as important as carpet
But I remember walking into that room
Don't remember the outcome, but I washed three glasses
I can guess who for, I'll smirk from across the bar
(just don't mention the van bisnes, we'll never speak of that)

There are three people you need to deal with
Myself slash My Demons slash My Dead Friends
We'll pass the ball between us, before you know it we've killed your owl
They shoulda known better to hang out in that spot

*than to, dammit

It will take years to
tonight was magic

Genuflect then circumflex, maybe buy a new keyboard
c+p gets me so far then a brick to my head
Question my vocabulary, have you met my family?
Count the characters twice, I guess that you win again

4/4 brings me back in the same perfect circle
7/8 of your life puts you right on the piano stool
Do the "math", yeah I've done it, in fact multiple times over
Another joke your (valid) phrasing won't allow you to get

"wheels within wheels", mumbled physical level
was that meant for a poem or just a personal note?
"people scream differently when they're on fire"
I hope I never remember where I got that from

I need one of those notebooks, with some cheesy shit on the cover
For me to fill up with a shaky hand
Turns out I'm wrong, there's already one on my fridge
Young L. must have gifted it fuck knows years ago

Scanning it now, it's incoherent scribbles
Constant rewrite of the Days Of Christmas
Just scored out lines, and arrows pointing random places
"AND A MOOOOOUTHIE IN THE KEY OF SEEEEE!"

See?

You want to borrow that one line? Fuck You, Pay Me
It comes with hand movements, like in one job lot
Your fake currencies? I think the clue's in the title
I'll take it in Sterling, fucking do it or not

Call it tunnert cash right now on the table
Unless you want to double down
I'll lay it all on that boy there, I know his mother
Whereas I spoke with that weegie, he's a fucking clown

Do a 360, check the lack of astonishment
One time they all seen Kid backflip out The Tree
Everyone cheered then, I just went and cooked breakfast
He doesn't drink but also doesn't use cutlery

Yeah there's hometown applause, but watch who he fistbumps
See? I was one of only two or three
Threatens past "Friends" of his mammy on a regular basis
But never once has had a problem with me

Your pierogi tattoo
Oh yeah that's cute,
Remind exactly where we stand?
"A Better Future", I'll just check my wrists

Oh sorry, got confused, the latter thing is some latter thing...

(genuinly fuck any pierogi tattos)

I LOVE MY JOB!
Just kidding, I don't have a job
Occasionally I get paid to paint pubs
But they make me walk planks, sorry Chief, how bout NAW

I was a waiter once, at a steakhouse, for like 5 minutes
Then they decided I was better off just writing things down
But I was too slow, and stuck my tongue out to concentrate
Then got fired and went back to my bed

For my little brother's 30th birthday I gave him a knife with magic powers
Had my mother hand it over cus I don't mix with that crowd
She didn't understand, but reported back
Apparently he looked at it, smirked, and nodded

He understood
He worked at that steakhouse much longer than me

Jink sideways, mon now son you surely got it from Desert Strike
Have you never learnt lessons applicable to Real Life?
I seen you play two games, did it never occur to you
Hollow Knight was released between the pair of them

Did you never wonder why Kid crouches on the pavement
Before he enters that scummy (necessary) shop?
He's recharging his Soul meter, the fact that I get that
Explains why only one of us pair has been stabbed in our sleep

V. asked me to be in her band, I was chuffed for a second
Til she clarified as back up dancer, "with your sweet sweet moves"
Yeah I'll take the compliment, but the evenings we've spent together
with me chugging away at rhythm guitar with that heavy arm

Or even my drunken three chord piano
Which I surely hauled out that pub cellar for a reason
It sat in my mother's house for about 4 years
The scores on the pavement lasted longer than that

Then I befriended a removal guy
Who had access to a van, and a sweet trolley
Set it down in this room with a out of tune THUNK
I doubt it affected it much, I PREVIOUSLY HAULED IT OUT A PUB CELLAR

V. basically wants a band built around her (clean) new boyfriend
"a musician - a drummer!", well which one is it?
She did not appreciate that joke
My awesome humour is wasted on the wasted

She said Kid can be in on keyboards
She's fucking dreaming, that sounds far too prescriptive
There's a reason why when i formed THE RAGDOLL PHYSISISTS
We had his role down as "Texture"

I don't think I need to be involved in this scheme
Cus me and Kid have an unspoken pact
Right now he's hitting presets on a Roland EG-101
I'm strumming the Velvet chords, ancor' til the sun comes up

true blue, true blue
if you're headed out
I would go with you

Only tell me which half of it was true
and I'll tell you too

JHM I am rooting hard for your band

So My Mother is texting Yxxxx Lxxxx, asking if her partner can come do some job
"He's her tattoo boy, must be cool, right?" NO
FIRST OFF, My Mother, you should know:
He's a PETRIE! Not that cool now, right?
I know you've had run-ins with that family before...
SECOND OFF: That's Lxxxx's boyfriend!
Cool your heels, just consider
When has that ever (EVER!?!) worked out well for this family as yet?

Remember that one boy who claimed he'd flown THIRTEEN HOURS STRAIGHT to the quiz?
I personally remember that squinty eye you shot at him
Remember that one boy moved his lips when reading
You never looked at that one, just looked at Her, and shook your head
Remember that other guy's explaination for a lack of licence?
"I did 120 in a 30 zone" > CUNT
Remember his smug face, remember that shit I started?
Understand why you never see him round my house

Did you see us slow dancing round your living room?
I know you did, cus you interjected
23 grand, you enjoyed seeing her shocked face
Then we left, after I whispered "40 years ago..."
"Woodworm Willy" was your last words, I had to explain
It was his lifestyle, nothing to do with STDs
I took her home, more slow dancing etcetera
I'll sell your house, just never talk to us again

A POEM CALLED "MY MOTHER'S NEW KNIFE"
Haha no, her knife is rubbish
Fair play, it's metal but painted blue
And doesn't have the appropriate weight

I wanted a neutral perspective, fortunately there was a random lady
Stood right there in your "classy" hall
I put one in each hand, she looked at me weird and said nothing
But I could tell by her face I WIN AGAIN

Deez poemz UK

“You didn’t see this” she said
as she overpoured the beans
into the hopper