Real England

why can't I change my username on this godforsaken website

“Battered Mars Bar with crowbar”

The delicacies from this account keep coming up

Fish fingers and mushy peas hot dog at Grimsby Town (@officialgtfc served by @SlipwayG)

💷 £5 (with chips) pic.twitter.com/MNVLXg2GIz

— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) January 30, 2022

I would eat that

was gonna say

throw a bit of tartare sauce on it

Yes, I would eat a lot of the items they post xp

Pie in a roll (Wigan kebab) at Nairn County FC (@NairnCounty)

💷 £2.50 pic.twitter.com/Saqokxfu0c

— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) January 28, 2022

i saw that one and what bothers me most is the roll looks unbuttered

from what you can see the pie doesn't look too promising either, which is supposed to be what they are good at. It looks like that kind of rubbery flexible pastry you get from Iceland frozen pies!

Immediate saliva gland desiccator, would not eat even if it was meat-free (which it almost certainly isn't)

I conclude with chunky fish finger sandwich with mushy peas is better than anything I've ever had to eat at a football ground.

the only football related good food I ever had was at a cafe near Lincoln City's ground in 2003. And this was when I was still a vegetarian and it was just basically a vegetarian hotdog in some amazing bread and it cost me £1.50!

You get decent food outside a ground but fuck eating anything you get overcharged for in there

my stepdad always used to pack a thermos flask full of red wine and a lunch pack of usually scotch eggs/pork pies/tesco sandwiches at home games, cos that is called The Knowledge.

a roll and pie with lots of butter and brown sauce is a delicacy, I was horrified at the thought the first time I was offered it and then became a devotee upon trying it

Royal souvenirs have 'Platinum Jubbly' misprint

Not to be a purist but a 'hot dog' connotes some kind of sausage, right? Not just breaded pollock

The term dog has been used as a synonym for sausage since the 1800s, possibly from accusations that sausage makers used dog meat in their sausages

sausage dogs should be called dog dogs imo

I think vegetarian hot dogs are fine in fact better than dog meat or the mechanically separated poultry or god knows what else they put in the meat ones.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FKme2qnXsAUHG_N?format=jpg&name=large

lollll

Nice work

Hey that’s just up the road from here, I keep thinking about adding it to the “horribly formed names” thread, except it’s good not horrible.

Half cooked hot dog at Derby County (@dcfcofficial)

💷 £4.50 pic.twitter.com/8hpb0EInFk

— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) January 16, 2022

If you stare at it long enough it starts morphing into a Rooney face

Cottage pie at Kidderminster Harriers (@khfcofficial)

💷 £4.50 pic.twitter.com/qhRExaxqxO

— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) February 3, 2022

Kidderminster Harriers putting most the other clubs to shame

Fuck I might go on Tuesday night now.

A long overdue crossover for fans of both @RedwallFeasts and @thebbccofficial https://t.co/OLlaupvvwQ

— Will Yates (@wjyates72) February 4, 2022

John Harris and Stuart Maconie kicking themselves they didn't think of this one

Be better if they kicked each other.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/feb/04/teesdale-farmer-cleared-by-jury-over-flipping-car-with-tractor

#OnThisDay 1979: Look! Hear! cast its eyes and ears over the thriving grassroots music scene springing up right across the Midlands. Which gig would you choose? pic.twitter.com/DyjlLeCBoZ

— BBC Archive (@BBCArchive) February 6, 2022

i would simply choose to abandon popular music and devote my life to listening to classical and not looking like a cunt

i do like the guy in that who looks like avon from blakes seven in a judith hann wig

It's Kipper at the Windmill Inn, Humberstone, nr. Leicester for me

was hoping mark s would share his memories of strange pleasures at the morris hall, shrewsbury tbh

the worst thing is i actually remember that programme

(xp) Strange Pleasures or strange pleasures? Or both...

It's Kipper at the Windmill Inn, Humberstone, nr. Leicester for me

Surely not...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5sF4eqgLs4

Lol classic movie

gnna ask my sister abt the morris hall: i don't remember ever being in or even looking from the main thoroughfare through into the little courtyard that leads up to i!: i seem to have strangely incurious abt this enclosure given that i've many times walked the streets on all sides of it and was as a teenager always weirdly into the town's proud medieval bullshit (which is everywhere; this place is 14th century, or some bits of it are).

i certainly wasn't aware it was ever routinely a venue! it looks fragile and ill-suited to the pogo! but by 1979 i was off at college and i guess becky might have seen stuff there? apparently (according to the website) there's some sandstone topping the walls by the stairs up to it which was once in the garden of "shrewsbury’s greatest son" charles darwin, which fuck you dude i'm standing right here

... not to mention Derek Smalls.

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-news/primark-explains-its-been-stuffing-23031047

not actually sure if this belongs itt tbh, it's more like a MCU/HAY BACON YOU GUYS vibe

The proposed new logo for Great British Railways looks eye-bleedingly awful https://t.co/5hl5qySL30 pic.twitter.com/gPyN5XZOXD

— Chris Applegate (@chrisapplegate) February 10, 2022

This is the age... of the train.

Britain https://t.co/RDo7Pc6tDe

— Duncan Robinson (@duncanrobinson) February 16, 2022

(i was on that exact train 3 weeks ago!)

disappointing lack of a "boi-oi-oing!" in that story

Tom's train trounces a trampoline on the tracks

pic.twitter.com/iqI8eaGAnn

— Mental UK Headlines (@MentalHeadline) February 18, 2022

Was it a footlong?