I would EXCELSIOR, but I haven't got a ZING to LOL

but i want to talk about masturbating to amazon delivery workers more. what is it about them that would turn a person on, i wonder.

most of them tend to be young?

there's a tuomas joke I'm not going to make

well now you've made us think of it so you essentially did :)

a dude i know had a song about 20 years ago about wanting to have sex with the Fed Ex Lady. there might be a youtube video

https://briankenneyfresno.bandcamp.com/track/fedexy

Perhaps it's something to do with novelty, like, "I don't go anywhere or do anything or see anyone (except the people I see all the goddamn time) and no one visits except sometimes there's a mysterious stranger who delivers the toner cartridges and boxed risotto and paper towels and cat litter"?

Joek thoroughly dead from overexplanation now

god the 00s was a bad decade

when did you start posting here?

well qed

i don't have bandcamps of songs about the fedex woman though, just a solo queen cover

can we poll-guess which song you did?

there have been numerous cryptic allusions to the cover and more specifically its instrumentation in the last hour on ilx

i am fated to 'play along'

further evidence I am in all the wrong threads today

@sarahell - bit of a theme for BKF! Didn't he also have a song called Sexy Mail Lady?

sexy pizza lady

which reminds me, i need to find and bookmark that post. does anyone have a link?

apparently Dyson isn't a publicly traded company in the US -- I wanted to invest but no.

Dyson and Bose both move air around and charge too much for it because of shit ~Sharper Image-level design~

I feel like Dyson is the Apple of HVAC

Not overly impressed with the Dysons I've had.
Also I much prefer changing a vacuum bag than fishing out crud from the bagless innards.

Dyson no. Miele yes.

Yup!

I am a proponent of using a Ridgid shop vac in all applications

I've had good luck with my Dyson

but understand ilx not liking it

i like my dyson vacuum but as a person who struggles to do even less disgusting small tasks i cannot express how hard it is to make myself empty that thing. my next one will definitely have a bag.

i do like how a dyson ships with a turtleneck in the box that you can wear while showing it to your dinner guests

I've seen some weird strawmen in my day but the turtlenecked vacuum dinner party enthusiast is up there

Dysons are so expensive it's kind of ridiculous gotta get them on a good sale

was there an origin point for the Dyson discourse (on ilx)?

xp that is exactly what the turtlenecked vacuum dinner party enthusiast says to the guests, though

join the dots rob, join the dots

as for hoovers I swear by Henry and his big smiley face

my ratio of posting to understanding is abysmal today

I don't think I've ever worn a turtleneck actually

no wait when I was a little kid mom made me wear one to church with this little blazer

and the dyson is your god now

Shark has proven for me to be an acceptable dyson knockoff brand

to my fellow Dyson owners in the VIP remember they hate us cuz they ain't us no cap 💰💰💰💰

what in the hell is going on in here

xp you suck

haha I don't know honestly

you're hosting a Christmas dinner. a guest thoughtfully brings some corn for popping, but forgets about it before taking a seat. the loose kernels spill out of his pants pocket onto the floor. and here, in front of your Christmas dinner guests, you still find a Shark to be an acceptable dyson knockoff brand? You've got the red turtleneck with embroidered mistletoe on the fold, but the vacuum is lacking sir.

no thats fair tbh but youre pitching an extremely specific circumstance that i feel doesnt justify the premium

i gotta say i think the shark would be perfectly able for any amount of popcorn kernels

youre gonna need a bigger gloat

just a small bowl of floor popcorn, Servant. thank you, how delicious

and boom! we're back to the lols!

the corn for popping on your floor isn't the point. a fucking black & decker could suck up that soft sawdust shit. this is a question of form not function. the dinner guests. the knockoff vacuum. you are fucked as soon as you get up to head for the closet door, and you know it. "leave it," you say. "just leave it. it's like a Christmas Texas Roadhouse, but where the peanut shells are loose kernels, innit?" but the guests aren't buying it. you'd better produce a Dyson before the "Rattlesnake Bites" tray is passed or the night's ruined.