"Marriage requires amnesia, a mute button, a filter on the lens, a damper, some blinders, some bumpers, some ear plugs, a nap," writes Heather Havrilesky for @NYTStyles. https://t.co/PlNaqEycp9— The New York Times (@nytimes) December 26, 2021
― papal hotwife (milo z), Tuesday, 28 December 2021 03:52 (two years ago) link
Jesus. That article is some Christmas present to her husband. Though it doesn’t exactly seem like self-respect is a particularly cherished value in the family
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Tuesday, 28 December 2021 04:19 (two years ago) link
doesn't she run an advice column? yikes
― Roz, Tuesday, 28 December 2021 04:34 (two years ago) link
I don't know if this is really a quiddities, there's an expensive vacation in it but it's very much not the point
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 28 December 2021 04:39 (two years ago) link
Rich person airing her drama in the paper of record = agonies
― papal hotwife (milo z), Tuesday, 28 December 2021 04:53 (two years ago) link
i’m being told this is a ‘humor piece’ in ‘the vein of david sedaris’
it’s not very ‘funny’ tho, is it
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 28 December 2021 06:12 (two years ago) link
Neither is David Sedaris.
― A Pile of Ants (Boring, Maryland), Tuesday, 28 December 2021 06:40 (two years ago) link
in her 20s she wrote the daily suck.com columns iirc
― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 28 December 2021 11:34 (two years ago) link
David Sedaris ime is a skillful writer and usually pretty successful at couching any stinging or mocking criticism of his family and partner in well-articulated and convincing affection for them (or at least he used to be… he’s sort of drowned in his own quiddities in the past couple decades). This woman is just bitter, cruel and playing out her family dysfunction in the most public forum
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Tuesday, 28 December 2021 12:54 (two years ago) link
That piece was so assholish it made me reconsider stuff she'd written in the past that I'd liked.
― but also fuck you (unperson), Tuesday, 28 December 2021 13:23 (two years ago) link
That husband is currently writing a responsive piece for submission to the Times with the working headline “I Hate My Wife, As Well”— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) December 28, 2021
― papal hotwife (milo z), Wednesday, 29 December 2021 03:29 (two years ago) link
tbf, i kind of hate her husband too
― i cannot help if you made yourself not funny (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 29 December 2021 04:12 (two years ago) link
*bites nails* can't wait for the follow up, definitely going to subscribe to read it
― Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Wednesday, 29 December 2021 13:52 (two years ago) link
I don't know. As long-time married guy, I thought the "I Hate My Husband" piece was kind of funny. YMMV
― o. nate, Wednesday, 29 December 2021 17:45 (two years ago) link
yeah it all seems incredibly par for the course? like if a standup did a set of this material nobody would blink. which maybe says something about the relative levels of interpersonal intolerance in standup comedy idk.
― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 29 December 2021 18:03 (two years ago) link
like if a standup did a set of this material nobody would blink.
In 1995, maybe.
― but also fuck you (unperson), Wednesday, 29 December 2021 18:08 (two years ago) link
Mrs. Borat voice “Mai husbaaaand”
― papal hotwife (milo z), Wednesday, 29 December 2021 18:30 (two years ago) link
lmao
― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 29 December 2021 18:48 (two years ago) link
"Foreskin like wizard cowl..."
― nickn, Wednesday, 29 December 2021 20:46 (two years ago) link
https://defector.com/maybe-your-marriage-just-sucks ($)
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 29 December 2021 21:38 (two years ago) link
I wonder if any of us here have been married for 15 years
― calstars, Thursday, 30 December 2021 02:38 (two years ago) link
I have!
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 30 December 2021 02:57 (two years ago) link
28 years here.
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Thursday, 30 December 2021 03:10 (two years ago) link
I channel all my hate into ILX threads
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 30 December 2021 03:15 (two years ago) link
"You're welcome, Mrs. eephus" -- the Dave Matthews Band
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 30 December 2021 03:18 (two years ago) link
― calstars, Thursday, 30 December 2021 03:54 (two years ago) link
14 years
― o. nate, Thursday, 30 December 2021 04:16 (two years ago) link
I didn't really care for the Havrilesky piece, but some of the reaction to it seems not to have noticed that it's an excerpt from a forthcoming memoir. It's not like she suddenly got exasperated with her husband one day and ran to the New York Times to badmouth him.
― jaymc, Thursday, 30 December 2021 04:54 (two years ago) link
coming up on 20 years
I'm sure my wife and I could each write a list of minor annoyances about one another that we overlook because, on balance, it's a good marriage. If plucked out of the context of the larger discussion, that list would look similar.
― ; (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 30 December 2021 12:32 (two years ago) link
28 years this past June.
No, but that was the excerpt she chose to publish in the New York Times, removing it from any other context (because a lot of people aren't gonna realize it's an excerpt from a book and most of the people who read it are not gonna read the whole book, since it's a very bad piece of writing that does not do much to promote the larger project).
― but also fuck you (unperson), Thursday, 30 December 2021 13:54 (two years ago) link
if i had to choose between the havrilesky piece and the i-love-my-wife defector piece mookie linked i would first of all wonder what pass my life had come to but anyway i think i hate the latter more actually
― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 30 December 2021 14:08 (two years ago) link
Tracer OTM with respect to this Lady and the Tiger dilemma we are confronted with here.
― Heatmiserlou (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 30 December 2021 14:18 (two years ago) link
idk, i didn't love the parts of the defector piece where he was describing his own marriage - a little too hyperbolic - but on sum i hew closer to that experience than the havrilesky one by a long shot. and i thought his takedown of the havrilesky was otm
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Thursday, 30 December 2021 15:02 (two years ago) link
married 12 yrs here btw, together for ~17
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Thursday, 30 December 2021 15:05 (two years ago) link
Married 19 years, one thing that helps preserve a matrimonial union is to avoid reading marriage-themed clickbait.
― Halfway there but for you, Thursday, 30 December 2021 15:38 (two years ago) link
I read my wife some of the lines from the Havrilesky piece and we both chuckled about it, especially the part about the sneeze/scream that she never hears without saying "Jesus Christ!".
― o. nate, Thursday, 30 December 2021 19:41 (two years ago) link
My wife and I were just laughing about that piece, but more for its lack of full self awareness (although a few of the lines were funny), like as though the writer imagined she were just writing "don't you hate how men leave the toilet seat up," while basically calling her husband a disgusting piece of shit that she couldn't stand other than in rare moments where she was able to pretend he was something good.
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 31 December 2021 06:49 (two years ago) link
wb
― dark end of the st. maud (sic), Friday, 31 December 2021 06:55 (two years ago) link
: )
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 31 December 2021 14:34 (two years ago) link
Just had a heated discussion with Mrs. Redd when I told her I prefer various other approaches to the term and idea of a New Year's Resolution. Wonder if "humorous" Op-Ed should be written about this.
― A Little Bit Meme, a Little Bit URL (James Redd and the Blecchs), Saturday, 1 January 2022 05:41 (two years ago) link
My latest rage-inducer from the times was the article about disgust that started off with a shockingly ableist anecdote about how disgusting people with colostomy bags are, so disgusting that they couldn't be worth dating. The article then went on to talk about how eating food with hands was disgusting...without even mentioning that people eat food with their hands in pretty much every culture on the planet, but particularly in African and Asian cultures.
Just an abysmal paper, I think I'm going to end my sub this year because of that article, to be frank.
― we need outrage! we need dicks!! (the table is the table), Tuesday, 4 January 2022 19:01 (two years ago) link
It's amazing what a high percentage of The Paper of Record is either middlebrow fluff or just straight up trash. I barely read it anymore.
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 4 January 2022 20:05 (two years ago) link
It seems like they need to fill a quota of content
― calstars, Tuesday, 4 January 2022 21:11 (two years ago) link
Yeah that fucking article, I've been in a rage about it since it came out. Just an absolute disgrace.
― Lily Dale, Tuesday, 4 January 2022 21:48 (two years ago) link
i've probably said this before but aside from the international news and a few well reported metro stories it's completed its transformation into the New York Observer
― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 4 January 2022 22:01 (two years ago) link
They WISH. The New York Observer in its glory days crushes any current newspaper like a grape.
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 4 January 2022 22:32 (two years ago) link
Lol okay yes that’s true, for one thing it’s not nearly spiteful enough. but you know what I mean.. the obsession with real estate, the narrow-band audience profile.. interpellating us all as the over-it nouveau riche
― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 4 January 2022 22:40 (two years ago) link
"the narrow-band audience profile"
vs.
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/04/business/ben-smith-new-york-times.html
“There are 200 million people who are college educated, who read in English, but who no one is really treating like an audience, but who talk to each other and talk to us,” Ben Smith said. “That’s who we see as our audience.”
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Tuesday, 4 January 2022 22:50 (two years ago) link
the observer really had some great, fun writing too it should be said. yeah maybe not a great comparison actually xpost
― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 4 January 2022 22:53 (two years ago) link
I still don't get that Ben Smith quote but if he's really saying "I have hired the best journalists in India and we're going to develop an amazing media property there with worldwide reach" more power to him I guess
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 6 January 2022 03:23 (two years ago) link