Real England

https://www.retailtimes.co.uk/kelloggs-to-launch-mince-pie-flavoured-cereal-mince-pie-wheats/

do they have fish and chips flavoured crisps in other countries as well?

yeah, nazi germany iirc!

Queen and corgis 'risk wolf or bear encounter under Chris Packham’s rewild call'https://t.co/ZsHwByYI0r pic.twitter.com/VV8wlByrsf

— The Mirror (@DailyMirror) December 7, 2021

I'd advise her not to run if she sees a wild bear, stand your ground ma'am and face it down with your arms outstretched!

does the queen shit herself in the woods?

surely she has someone to do that for her

t was reported in 2015 that the Queen stopped breeding corgis so as not to leave any behind when she died.[4] Her final corgi, Willow, died in April of 2018. Two dorgis*, Vulcan and Candy, survived.[1] Vulcan died of 'old age' in 2020.[5] The Queen's only remaining dorgi was Candy, before it was joined by another dorgi pup named Fergus and a pure-bred corgi called Muick in 2021.[6] Fergus died in the same year.[7] In June 2021, she was gifted a new corgi by her family.[8]

several sinister red flags in this paragraph imo

*dorgis are dachshund-corgi crossbreeds before you ask

Fergus and Vulcan got did in Blondi style with a cyanide pill obv

Where there's Muick there's brass.

Lol @ this thread

I’ve stood by my father through a lot of things, but stealing the entire visual and culinary identity of one of Britain’s most beloved restaurants is deeply unethical. JD Wetherspoons was not founded on these principles. pic.twitter.com/HlAnk6NZr5

— Clive Martin (@thugclive) December 8, 2021

Shakespearean, in the sense that I hope all the main characters die

Sorry, I need explanation

it's like an irl UK Succession but with a major pub chain run by a total cunt and seemingly the apple didn't fall that far from the tree etc...

I've been to a Wetherspoons or two, I just don't know who they're stealing from

Nando’s presumably

yep it's a Nando's ripoff

cheeky

When are aldi going to apologise for stealing the visual and culinary identity of britains most beloved park bench pisshead beverages

https://i2-prod.walesonline.co.uk/incoming/article13799719.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/taurus.jpg

https://cdn.bandmix.ca/bandmix_ca/media/28/28718/171225-p.jpg

pic.twitter.com/Lz8poT7ZqB

— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) December 14, 2021

canute updated

just witnessed an ice cream man’s funeral and all the ice cream vans came and followed in solidarity I AM SOBBING pic.twitter.com/bJhyJj4JoK

— Louisa Davies (@LouisaD__) December 17, 2021

Can't help feeling this guy belongs here (Chew, not Whitty):

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/dec/21/man-accused-of-chris-whitty-assault-contests-charges-in-dressing-gown

ha was going to post that!

he's one of them deplorable idiots that goes into adult life still using the school playground bully rulebook, but all the same that was pretty damn funny!

LadBaby criticising The Kunts for not being positive enough about the government in their no.5 hit single ‘Boris Johnson Is STILL A Fucking C**t’ is where the discourse is tonight.

if you want to experience the most powerful british vibes possible i invite you to read about the guy on trial for harassing chris whitty in a park pic.twitter.com/x4WCYSkrhL

— milo edwards (@Milo_Edwards) December 22, 2021

Captain Sir Tom Moore's family find forgotten mystery Christmas present from him to open this year https://t.co/cOr53nkZ9Q

— ITV News (@itvnews) December 22, 2021

Didn't Happen of the Year

it's a human skull that he brought back from Burma as a trophy

lol

I'm gunna drink 15 Boddingtons today.

A thread:

— Rob Copland (@Robertdcopland) December 26, 2021

the hero we need

a four-pack of them small gold label special beer cans will roughly do the same job!

shorter thread tho

Some great stuff here. Especially the Wetherspoon ripping off Nando

I remember seeing Cobra from Gladiator near West Harrow tube station twenty years ago

But a whole Pizza Express full of people don’t remember an actual Prince walking in

— Marina Purkiss (@MarinaPurkiss) January 1, 2022

There being no 'Real Ireland' thread it goes here, British Isles is near enough:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jan/22/two-men-take-corpse-into-irish-post-office-to-claim-dead-mans-pension

feels like you're cruising for a deemsy bruising tbh

there's always The Irish

real england: everything is closed at 2pm on a saturday, the coffee is instant, and the sausage rolls are form greggs

What is everyones favourite beer /lager mine is carling ?

— Chris Waddle (@chriswaddle93) January 22, 2022

fucking hell

mine are budweiser /stella ?

BBC News reports on manufacturing downsizing: not e.g. "Multinational grocery leader Unilever to cut 1,500 jobs worldwide" or "Consumer-goods behemoth Unilever to cut 1,500 jobs worldwide" or anything like that, but rather "Marmite maker Unilever to cut 1,500 jobs worldwide".

"The Marmite-to-Domestos maker" is even weirder
Like a shit Anarchist Cookbook

There's a definite market for a 'Real Scotland' thread:

Dundee woman hid drug-stuffed Kinder Egg in private parts and battered brother with crowbar

why can't I change my username on this godforsaken website

“Battered Mars Bar with crowbar”

The delicacies from this account keep coming up

Fish fingers and mushy peas hot dog at Grimsby Town (@officialgtfc served by @SlipwayG)

💷 £5 (with chips) pic.twitter.com/MNVLXg2GIz

— Footy Scran (@FootyScran) January 30, 2022