Why I hate the Daily Mail, as distilled into one edition

"Lars Von Trier makes film containing graphic sex, maybe the Taliban were right all along."

It doesn't surprise me that Antichrist was heavily subsidised by the Danish Film Institute to the tune of 1.5 million euros.

Not the Danish Film Institute!

Those destabilisers of the free economies of the western world!

If you dont like it, dont watch it!
- Dan, Staffordshire, 19/7/2009 21:54

he didn't!

I'm slightly disappointed that the comments box is full of sensible-ish people calling him out on it. Give it until lunchtime...

There, horrors the likes of which I have never witnessed...

Quite.

If I were to see Antichrist, I don't believe for a moment that it would incite me into copycat violent behaviour or make me a danger to others. But it would poison my mind and imagination, with explicit, ferocious scenes of sexual violence that would stay with me for ever.

Isn't that good enough reason to ban it, or at least demand extensive cuts?

Genius

"Extensive cuts" in that context is unfortunate.

Previous ar4ticle by C Hart.

The Genesis enigma: How DID the Bible describe the evolution of life 3,000 years before Darwin?

Debate with the Mail: Was Michael Jackson the Mozart of our time or a sign of a bankrupt culture?

Like a good wine, she just gets better with age. So move over Gordon Brown - let's make Joanna Lumley PM!

Like a good wine, she just gets better with age. So move over Gordon Brown - let's make Joanna Lumley PM!

Say this to someone, and ask them which newspaper. Today!

Haha, the bit where he goes on about Bruno being just as bad because of gay men in baths with babies, but that's OK because it makes you laugh (even though gayist are obviously paedos) = genius.

Also genius how they illustrate this shocking depravity with pictures of its shocking depravity in a paper which will be happened upon by many more children that some Lars von Trier film ever will.

oh wow this is a beaut!

that genesis enigma article is about a writer who is dumber than hart himself.

...horrors the likes of which I have never witnessed unfold in graphic detail. Probably. But I've, y'know, never witnessed them.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1204359/In-week-Harriet-Harman-takes-charge-feminist-initiative.html

kind of lol but mostly actually pretty hateful

Pupils as young as five will be taught about the evils of 'wife beating' and the need to form healthy relationships.

Love the use of 'wife beating' there, as if it's an urban myth or something.

Good! Wish they'd taught me how to beat my wife when I was at school but my Mum always said I shouldn't hit women or policemen! Since then I've learned that women should never have been given the vote and should have it taken from them a.s.a.p. and removed from the House of Commons! After all it's only since they've introduced their sloppy housekeeping accounting methods that MP's have got in a muddle with their expenses!

- Ralph Smith, Vancouver BC Canada, 5/8/2009 1:58
Click to rate Rating +7

er, +7 is in bold but those characters don't display it very well

Daily Mail comments box trolls are one of those things that never fail to brighten up my day.

I've really developed a fascination with building a picture of the people who rate every single comment underneath a story on there... there must be a three-figure number of them, going through the doggerel, every day, getting some squirt of adrenaline out of it that you or I may never understand

Maybe we could organise a group of four or five hundred people to spend a few weeks rating "wrongly" on the Mail site and change their whole editorial ethos.

It might be the only chance we ever get to influence a New Labour government policy on anything

Maybe we could organise a group of four or five hundred people to spend a few weeks rating "wrongly" on the Mail site and change their whole editorial ethos.

i do this on the rare times i visit, to soothe my conscience for giving them the page-view

The most eye-catching proposal in the document is the one to force schools to introduce statutory lessons in 'educating children and young people about healthy, nonviolent relationships'.

You've got to give them credit for spinning a whole shock horror story from such meagre fare. I hope the Mail never introduces charging, I shall miss it.

Feminist agenda: Under controversial plans, schoolboys will be taught not to beat their partners or any other female

^ What happens when subs stop thinking about what they're writing/reading. I can see how something like that comes about -- "Need to mention controversy! Need to use dog-whistle words! Need to get across the story!" -- but the result is fucking barking nonsense.

they're not just there for the nasty things in life:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1204641/New-ID-cards-supposed-unforgeable--took-expert-12-minutes-clone-programme-false-data.html#

As a chilling twist, he adds a message that would be visible to any police officer or security official who scanned the card: 'I am a terrorist - shoot on sight.'

bit of a dick move for any chilling terrist tbh

Because, even today, after 20 years of feminism, the female voice is like one of those whistles only dogs can hear.

My friends and I call these infuriating incidents 'pine marten moments'. This dates from the time, a few years ago, when my husband Chris and I were on holiday with a group of friends and family in France.

Seated around a table in a rustic restaurant, one of the party noticed a stuffed animal peering beadily from a glass case and a lively discussion ensued.

'I wonder what that is?' said Chris. 'I think it might be a stoat,' said a male friend. 'No, it's a ferret of some sort,' ventured my brother-in-law.

'Actually, it's a pine marten,' I announced confidently.

'Hmm,' replied the friend. 'Wrong colour for a ferret.'

'That's because it's a pine marten,' I repeated.

'Really?' said yet another friend. 'Well, maybe it's a weasel of some kind.'

This debate about woodland fauna carried on over my head for five minutes until my husband quietly ventured

'Could it be a pine marten?', at which there was a roar of masculine agreement. 'Of course! A pine marten! Well done, mate!'

life imitates fast show sketch

Fast Show sketch imitating real life IMO.

oh yeah, definitely. mail feature imitates fast show sketch imitating real life?

Ironic that I heard that sketch on "The Fast Show" first.

xpost ah dammit.

I KNOW IT WAS 15 MINS AGO, I WAS WORKIN!

like one of those whistles only dogs can hear

If only there was a commonly used name for those things.

http://www.watfordobserver.co.uk/news/1757164.print/

Ah, a 'thieving git' moment.

If your xpost was 15 minutes out of date why would you not just click back?

¯\(°_o)/¯

Is that excerpt being cited for wrongheadedness cz of
a) the thieving, not mentioned until later, by someone else;
b) this happens to everyone, not just to women by men, so enough with the ¡que machistas! tone;
c) this never happens at all, moaning bitches (I assure you it does, though I had assumed to everyone, but recent personal examples all went along the same gender lines);
d) it is poorly written, though no more so than 80% of newspaper waffle-pieces?

(I just went to read the rest of the article and couldn't be bothered to wade through it, so I'm not going to bother defending it on d, I guess)

It's fairly obviously bollocks from the start, but b) probably applies too.

¯\(°_o)/¯

― Susan Tully Blanchard (MPx4A), Thursday, 13 August 2009 10:58 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Because I clicked on it, went to do something, came back, read thread, typed in reply, Submitted, added xpost, resubmitted, then saw how long ago it was wanted to.

I suppose it is clearly bollocks.

Either I am still too annoyed at the last time this happened to me to notice, or I forgot that normal people don't spend as much time thinking about weasels as I do (and I couldn't pick a pine marten out of a lineup either).

As you were...

Well, my first reaction was that it was made up shit, but I guess it could have happened to the Watford woman for real years ago for all I know.

it could be the same woman. what's the betting that two women in the media know each other? and that the one reporting it second-hand got the location wrong? as DM articles go - as DM articles on its website today alone - this is not one to pick on, and i've no idea why you would.

I figured it reasonably likely it was one person using two different bylines - I found it while googling for the Fast Show sketch which I don't actually remember

indeed, tho the watford one says it all happened to her friend, and the DM one says it happened to her

c'mon, there's no way this isn't plagiarism.

Anecdotal women-being-ignored story:

Have just been watching Sky Sports News. They are reading out viewer emails from people talking about the introduction of women's boxing to the Olympics.
Female presenter reads out an email "Sue from Croydon wonders if this means we'll get Chippendales parading round with the boards between rounds" (laughs at this point, evidently getting Sue from Croydon's stupid point and doing that presenterly thing of pretending your viewers are great) "but she's spelled it chip and dales, like Chip and Dale, I'm not sure what that's about".
Bloke presenter: "well, you see, some boxing tournaments have women in bikinis carrying the boards, she means that female boxing might have..."
Female interjects: "yes, I know, but Chip And Dale"...
Bloke ignores her: "yes, female boxing might have scantily clad men, you see"
Female tries to butt in again, bloke looks at her like she's simple and carries on with something else.

Grrrrr.

That pine marten story sounds like a load of bollocks, and the various people who have had this happen to them need to realise that it makes them look like they have a really twatty taste in friends.

Not usually my friends, alas. I signed up for beginners' German lessons, where the class was one male tutor, four women who didn't speak (much) German (it being a beginners' class), and one half-German guy who was pretty much fluent at spoken German but wanted to brush up on his grammar. Most of every lesson was him and the tutor talking - usually in English - about football and films we hadn't seen. Occasionally the tutor would throw a question apparently to the entire group, except this would happen every time a woman answered.

Working in IT, meetings are usually another good source of it.

Why I hate Daily Telegraph readers, as distilled into the comments at the bottom of one article about Islam