How do you remember appointments?

work appointments, I just use the work Outlook account

Social appointments, I'm pretty sure I can remember in my head that one night a week I get invited for a pint on a thursdsay lol

You lol, but ADHD literally means I can’t remember the one time a week I get invited for a pint on a Thursday.

Reminders app on my phone. For everything. For remembering to take my meds, do push-ups, keep appointments, feed and water the cats, buy necessaries, pretty much everything that needs doing in a day. Location-based reminders for oddball stuff I don’t need for survival, like don’t forget to stop at the record store when you’re in the neighbourhood of the record store even.

I do set reminders on all my digital appointments, but the problem is that my phone is always buzzing with one thing or another

On my phone I diligently turn off all the notifications that I'm not interested in. I think you could also set a different sound for calendar reminders that would be distinguishable from say, an email coming in, if you are interested in those notifications (I'm not, because most emails I receive are not important).

If typing in a reminder is tedious (and it's not coming from an email or text where the phone automatically detects it and makes it easy to add to the Calendar), another option is to use the voice assistant feature (or something like Alexa if you have that). It works pretty reliably to say "Remind me on such and such date and time to do X".

I do set reminders on all my digital appointments, but the problem is that my phone is always buzzing with one thing or another, and I sometimes tune it out.

Create a custom ringtone, something that can't be ignored or misunderstood -- "WAKE UP AND DO THIS THING." I recommend the first few seconds of "Viet Nam" by the Minutemen or "Skunk" by JSBX -- they've been great for me.

by the seat of my pants, into the teeth of the storm

I have no issues remembering appointments, I just put everything in calendar, which I look at multiple times a day and have reminders.

What I hate though is when I make an appointment, I get all these extra emails/texts/calls asking to confirm my appointment. I don’t need that, I made the appointment, I’ll be there, fucking trust me. I block and ignore them all.

Putting alerts on my appts in my Google Calendar has pretty much solved my woes. Also my office uses Google Calendar so I'm now forced to check my calendar a few times a week, and my phone shows me my personal calendar as well. It's hard to believe I functioned before having a smartphone!

And if it's an appt I have to prepare for, I usually put an alert on it to go off a few days in advance

I'm contracting on 2 projects - 1 east coast (less demanding), 1 central time (more demanding). I'm west coast. Separate computers, separate emails for each. I've screwed up meeting times way too often when I tried to coordinate it all on one calendar. I finally had to start putting blocks of "unavailable" time on the MD project calendar so I don't miss critical things on the LD project. It's basically a clusterfuck and I screwed up and scheduled a haircut on a Thursday when I also had a meeting on MD, a Zoom jury selection interview (that thankfully got cancelled), and a therapy appointment. So I am reading all suggestions with full attention.