I would EXCELSIOR, but I haven't got a ZING to LOL

I just encountered the word "glocal" and may need to lie down for a while

― and after eel, you're my Wonder Wheel (Ye Mad Puffin)

was it written by thomas friedman y/n

― mookieproof

it’s how birds have oral sex

― Tracer Hand

for sure, some of the best engineers on the planet are probably working for Tesla and SpaceX, Elon himself on the other hand seems to have no good car ideas at all. maybe I'm wrong!!

here's a fun story, my little brother owns a Tesla and something got messed up with the security system, idk if he hit the wrong button or something but the car just started freaking out, like honking and flashing lights and all that. apparently when it thinks its getting "broken into" the stereo system also starts playing Trans-Siberian Orchestra at max volume, which you can't turn off. the problem was my brother's wife and his 1-year old son were trapped in the car, and now there's this deafening music playing while my brother literally has to Google how to turn the shit off, and you just know fucking Elon Musk brought that up at some meeting, "ha ha, here is funny idea, also very smart because it disorient the thief, ha ha" and everyone around him is afraid to tell him no so they just start working 90 hour weeks instead of 80 to make it happen, and now my nephew might have hearing damage

― frogbs, Sunday, 29 August 2021 16:28 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

…

This week I learned mom knows who Brian Jones is. Sort of.

― The 25 Best Songs Ever Ranked In Order (Deflatormouse), Saturday, August 28, 2021 2:09 AM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

She phoned a couple of days ago and mentioned that the drummer for the Rolling Stones died "again".

― The 25 Best Songs Ever Ranked In Order (Deflatormouse), Saturday, August 28, 2021 2:11 AM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

I said, no, this is the first time a drummer for the Rolling Stones has died, are you maybe thinking of the drummer for the Who?

And she said no, his name was Barry, who is Barry?

― The 25 Best Songs Ever Ranked In Order (Deflatormouse), Saturday, August 28, 2021 2:13 AM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

"You mean the guy from the Bee Gees?"

"No, the Rolling Stones."

Eventually we figured out that she was thinking of Brian Jones, but she thought he was the drummer and that his name was Barry.

"You don't know who Brian Jones is."

"Yes, I remember he wore yellow corduroy pants. Mustard yellow."

"OMG, you know who Brian Jones is."

― The 25 Best Songs Ever Ranked In Order (Deflatormouse), Saturday, August 28, 2021 2:17 AM (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Ha! Plus the Rutles stuff afterwards.

that was cool, glad they did the whole song and not just part. What was that from?

― akm, Monday, September 13, 2021 3:54 PM bookmarkflaglink

that was my question too. apparently maya rudolph had a show with martin short?? it lasted 6 episodes.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, September 13, 2021 5:26 PM bookmarkflaglink

That sounds like plenty.

― a hallan shaker loon (dowd), Wednesday, September 15, 2021 10:22 AM bookmarkflaglink

simple. elegant. excelsior.

maybe he's born with it?

maybe it's excelsior

I wore a Dead Milkmen shirt and a fellow student ran out crying because her dad was a milkman who was dead

― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Monday, September 20, 2021 5:54 PM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Lmfao

yeah that was great

Must be a problem for any punks going to college with the Kennedy kids.

Well it soured it somewhat

imo people are going to need to adjust their expectations about when and how they put energy into their cars. like, it mainly happens at home, and if you’re going far enough that you need to do it on the road then you’ll need to combine that with a bit of a break. a meal. watch something on your ipad. yes that feels less convenient than spending 5 minutes pumping poison into a tank but one of the tradeoffs is that you never have to pay $1000 to replace a $50 HVAC sensor or deal with a main seal or whatever.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, September 20, 2021 5:03 PM bookmarkflaglink

I'm fairly sure my uncle got an EV just to have an excuse to stop for a burger wherever he goes

― kinder, Monday, September 20, 2021 5:50 PM bookmarkflaglink

fair play

― Tracer Hand, Monday, September 20, 2021 5:51 PM bookmarkflaglink

You know that someone is going to have beef with electric cars

― fix up luke shawp (darraghmac), Monday, September 20, 2021 6:11 PM bookmarkflaglink

(I'm a simple man)

I think we should always keep a baseline yknow

Henceforth known as the beefline.

Anything below it will be considered unbeefhitting

i get my kicks above the waistline, bovine

https://i.imgur.com/z0qFlW1.gif

I have no idea why this made me just lose it so badly:
---

Fans of Sonic onion rings will know that they have a particular sweetness -- I found out yesterday it's because they soak the cut onions in their ice cream mix, or at least a variation on it, before breading.

― Profiles in Liquid Courage (WmC), Thursday, October 7, 2021 12:26 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

that also explains their peculiarly oniony ice cream

― hundreds of millions of (cat), Thursday, October 7, 2021 12:31 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

lol

mystery solved

I imagining some alternate universe where people complain "Man, I can't believe Hendrix went from Electric Ladyland to this bland Babyface shit! I bet Clapton wouldn't have done this had he survived that heroin overdose."

― birdistheword, Monday, October 11, 2021 5:45 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Tweet: Colin Powell dies from Covid complications

The chemical weapons finally got him

― St. Twel'mo, or the Cuneiform Cyclopedist of Chattanooga (President Keyes), Monday, October 18, 2021 10:24 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

in the MCU, dr strange scans an incomprehensibly large number of possible futures for music consumption, desperately searching for timelines that restrain Hot Hot Heat to obscurity -- there's only one.

― John Lakeman gives pipe lecture (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, October 18, 2021 12:29 PM bookmarkflaglink

I feel like there hasn’t been a lot of funny lately, what with all the creeping horror and impending doom in the world, but this got me good:

Can we be shown cool white evangelicals + Mike Love?

― John Stockton buying a used car from (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 20 October 2021 17:47 (two hours ago) link

FTR this predated Nirvana. I first noticed it at a Red Hot Chili Peppers show in 1990

Yeah I meant more like They Might Be Giants where I saw slamming and crowd-surfing in the era

― chr1sb3singer, Tuesday, October 19, 2021 5:06 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

the height of this for me was watching some concert on MTV and people were crowdsurfing to "Linger" by the Cranberries

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, October 20, 2021 6:36 AM (ten hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

do u have to
do u have to
do u have to mosh to "linger"

― STOCK FIST-PUMPER BRAD (BradNelson)

every time i tell my son i love him or that he did a good job he rolls his eyes and goes yeah yeah that’s what every dad says

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, October 26, 2021 3:31 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

thats when u reply with "ok fuck u then"

― class project pat (m bison), Tuesday, October 26, 2021 3:36 PM (fifty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

you don't know what you got till it's gone

― Linda and Jodie Rocco (map), Tuesday, October 26, 2021 3:37 PM (fifty-six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

you don't miss your water 'til dad's "fuck you, guy"

look if you’re not going to engage with the different facets of ChAdOx1 nCoV-19 or BNT162b2 vaccination then i don’t know what you’re posting on this forum for tbh

― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 26 October 2021 22:35 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

ChAdOx1 is my name on counterstrike

― certified juice therapist (harbl), Tuesday, 26 October 2021 22:37 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

I've seen clips on Pornhub that are designed to be watched while wearing VR goggles and they're fucking bizarre to look at, like footage of conjoined twins shot through the world's most warped fisheye lens.

― but also fuck you (unperson), Friday, October 29, 2021 12:01 AM (sixteen hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Thank you for your sacrifice

― maf you one two (maffew12), Friday, October 29, 2021 12:24 AM (sixteen hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

like tears in rain

^lol

my dewey youthfulness is due, in part, to never having seen forrest gump

― mookieproof, Sunday, October 31, 2021 5:00 AM (ten hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

I was forced to watch it five years ago as a DYING MAN’S LAST(ish) WISH and I am still pissed about it

― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, October 31, 2021 2:40 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

On the bright side, he's dead now ...

― Milm & Foovies (Eric H.), Sunday, October 31, 2021 2:48 PM (fifty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FCZwmJ_X0AYYtpP?format=jpg&name=small

robert plant jus thinkin baout his new song, in my time of djing

― o shit the sheriff (NickB), Sunday, October 31, 2021 9:29 AM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Oh, I also bought a standing desk when I couldn't sit for about a month (long story lol), but I now stand while WFH and let me tell you, I feel so much better about working. Back, shoulders, everything.

― I'm a sovereign jizz citizen (the table is the table), Thursday, November 4, 2021 2:59 PM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

Donald Rumsfeld's greatest legacy.

― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, November 4, 2021 3:00 PM (fifty-two seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

Alfred been on fire today, this just made me actually lol

"let's build up a high sensitivity to fluctuating milk prices" a common tinder line from dogs

― What it's like. Havana Syndrome. What it's like. Havana Syndrom (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, November 4, 2021 1:40 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

sounds like a D. Boon lyric

― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, November 4, 2021 1:41 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Hahahaha

Starmer on Boris Johnson saying ‘fuck business': "I can promise you that the only 'F words' I'll be using are ‘foreign investment’, 'fair trade', 'fiscal policy', and 'fiduciary duty'"
— Jon Stone (@joncstone) November 22, 2021
a lot of debate going on in the QTs as to which comedy character this is most reminiscent of (Alan Partridge? Mark from Peep Show?), but I'd like to put a word in for Mark McKinney as Darryl on Kids In The Hall

― soref, Monday, 22 November 2021 14:11 (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Incredible.

― Daniel_Rf, Monday, 22 November 2021 14:14 (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Principal Skinner also making a strong showing

― Critique of the Goth Programme (Neil S), Monday, 22 November 2021 14:24 (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

It immediately called to mind the abortive Marge Simpson musical number that began "morals and ethics and carnal forbearance" before she accidentally bulldozed the burlesque house

― hiroyoshi tins in (Sgt. Biscuits), Monday, 22 November 2021 14:37 (nine hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Definitely Mark from Peep Show.

― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Monday, 22 November 2021 15:10 (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Let's talk about the real C-bomb. Common sense.

― nashwan, Monday, 22 November 2021 15:15 (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

dr pimple popper my favorite Walmart soda flavor

― Cool Im An Situation (Neanderthal), Monday, November 22, 2021 5:49 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

this is terrible and i can’t stop giggling at it

brb creating a sock account so I can excelsior my own posts

We wanted a turducken, but vegetarian, so we're having a tofucken.
― Hideous Lump, Friday, 26 November 2021 10:42 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Marcus was born Greil Gerstley in San Francisco, California, the only son of Greil Gerstley and Eleanor Gerstley (née Hyman), a Jewish woman.

Does that mean he is related to Joey Ramone?
― Duck and Sally Can't Dance (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, November 28, 2021 10:24 AM (six hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Why Joey Ramone, a Jewish man?

― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Sunday, November 28, 2021 11:56 AM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Same last name.

― Duck and Sally Can't Dance (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, November 28, 2021 12:01 PM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Pretty common name.

― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Sunday, November 28, 2021 12:41 PM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

No need to be a Dick about it.

― bobo honkin' slobo babe (sic), Sunday, November 28, 2021 2:57 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Back on the sauce

I’m not sure if this is an appropriate tweet but In the sixties some of the models shaved their minges. I always thought it was a turn off I always liked women to look ‘au naturel’

— Dave Davies (@davedavieskinks) December 2, 2021

― Alba, Friday, 3 December 2021 08:38 (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

omg i thought he died
phew

^^^^^^^^^^

― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Friday, 3 December 2021 09:17 (seven hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

christ that tweet is so embarrassing
get a grip dave!!

― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 3 December 2021 14:43 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Sir this is a Wendy’s etc.

― A Pile of Ants (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 3 December 2021 14:50 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

I never heard the term "minges" before. Still learning something new everyday!

― birdistheword, Friday, 3 December 2021 15:11 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

I hope Karl Minges has a good sense of humor. (He popped up when I looked it up on Google.)

― birdistheword, Friday, 3 December 2021 15:13 (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

For some reason, this makes me think of John Mendelssohn's shock at Ray's choice of underpants circa 1969.

― Halfway there but for you, Friday, 3 December 2021 15:40 (fifty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

‘au naturel’ is such a pleasant term!

― meisenfek, Friday, 3 December 2021 15:41 (fifty-six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

'minge' is such an unpleasant term

― When Smeato Met Moaty (Tom D.), Friday, 3 December 2021 15:42 (fifty-six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

bottom line: he should not be tweeting about this
no one wants to know dave davies' opinion sbout this

― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 3 December 2021 15:51 (forty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

otm

― Goofy the Grifter (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 3 December 2021 15:53 (forty-five minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

why are you kinkshaming

― bobo honkin' slobo babe (sic), Friday, 3 December 2021 15:59 (thirty-eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Front bottom line - to be precise

― Luna Schlosser, Friday, December 3, 2021 4:00 PM (forty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

he really was "having a stroke"

― licorice in the front, pizza in the rear (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, December 3, 2021 4:18 PM (twenty-one minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

There are minges among us.

and they're merciless

Karl please draw Charles Minges, the Merciless.

On the other hand, please don't

from a thread where we reminisce about the 1996 presidential election:

revive

― (The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Sunday, December 5, 2021 1:37 PM bookmarkflaglink

Dead

― When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Sunday, December 5, 2021 1:48 PM bookmarkflaglink