Fuck Off Back To The Little Leagues: EPL 21/22

I've been watching Chelsea v Palace as a proxy for My Mother, but I thought I was 1/4 of the way to £50,000 with Armstrong scoring for Soto. It's only at halftime I've realised that was ADAM Armstrong, not Stuart, so that's all fucked already. Oh well.

If Football Manager has taught me anything it's never back Stuart Armstrong

Yeah that should be my yearbook quote

Second Adama shot and it's straight at the keeper

I feel like we've been much better than the idiot spoilt brat section of our fans wanted to think we would be but there's very little edge at the moment, needs a signing or two before the end of the month

much better performance than my worst imaginings but obv it sucks when you can't score. cautiously thinking we've got the makings of something tho

Teemu Pukki has been a fucking wasteman since, what, 2 months into their last Prem season? I was trying to fashion a Niemi-based gag about "he's not Finnish! He's only..." but turns out he's 31, yeah he's finished

Second Adama shot and it's straight at the keeper

His muscles get in the way

pretty sure he's about as good as he's ever gonna be and i wouldn't cry if we took daft money for him but today was a classic example of why nobody will offer daft money for him

still love you boo

made up for Chalobah getting a goal on his debut, he was good for us but I thought he might not make it at Chelsea.

well tbh he was a bit dodgy for us, but we played him in midfield and in a very shit side, but he did show potential and was a 100%er.

It looks like Tuchel might actually rate Chalobah? I expect a Rudiger/Thiago/Chalobah back 3 going forward, Christiansen is useless, Zouma is a lump and possibly away, I actually watched whatever they called that wee London pre-season tournament and yeah Chalobah seems worth persevering with

yeah he played him in the Super Cup last week as well, looks like he's in there.

Kounde still a target from all you read but apparently its rudiger considered most vulnerable

didn't Chalobah start life as a DM? good learning curve if you can make the switch to being a centre half with more in your armory than hoofing it

yeah I think he did. A bit like yer man Coady

yeah. never want to play him in a 2 tho

Brighton continue to suffer bullshit reffing

God Tarkowski is a cunt

ASM masterclass for the goal.

This is great fun.

Kane not in the squad today.

well, yeah

Fernandinho bossing things thus far

I fear for Tanganga here but he’s just about holding his own at the moment.

Tanganga clearly Spurs best player

Theres not a man in the back five id fear for any less

Skipp and hojberg decent cover

Alli looks bettwr

Also, who is the alternative?

Dier is our next best right back, like

Not saying its mouras season but hes had a proper pre season and his skillset will benefit from some strikers heading away from him instead of towards him

Midfield is fucken wide open for whichever team wants to take it

I've never seen Anthony Taylor actually be in control of a match ever

Think hes been good so far!

The front three here are not doing too well at giving the ball carrier options but we are running it to good effect tbh

Son is a great player who just needs some better service to be a consistent goal scorer

Like, Harry Kane sitting deep

I'm aware that's not some massive insight, just when Spurs buy their Kane replacement they should look for a provider and bet all the goalscoring marbles on Son, I think he's up to it

Hes a much more direct player if kane isnt central demanding it but tbf he also benefits hugely at times from kanes passing and how much kane occupies centre halves

I think a player who can hold it up and be a focal point up front would be a decent purchase because theres more in our other attackers than they have shown with kane taking up so much of the pitch space

Decent on break again but starting to allow 2 vs 1 against tanganga which would be unfortunate

Very decent player rly

Yeah I had to run out the house to take a picture of a cat my mother doesn't believe exists, but clearly Son doesn't require any service whatsoever

Sanchez reverting to "I'll stand here and hope nothing bad happens" there, got away with it

^^my yearbook quote

Wonderful performance.

Kinda desperate at the end, but yeah

loves a game against City does Nuno

Wow!

That was comfortable after ten mins

The tracking from midfield was super, the individual decisions on marshalling and tackling really, really good

A lovely start

Grealish P2 L2

It'll pretty disappointing if the nation's sweetheart is a flop this season.

Ftr I'm pretty pro Jack, but I reserve the right to enjoy the above statistic. Was pretty comfortable for Spurs too

great game. spurs rb doing his fouling properly ie when facing towards opponents goal not towards his own. lucas brilliant ball carrying. city transition defence pathetic. levy should add 30m to whatever he's quoting city for kane after that.