which characteristic you really can't stand in other people?

Matt, you're a mind reader, especially on point number two. I would also like to add:

Practitioners of emotional blackmail.

(Actually I don't really mean #4 at all, I am melodramatic all the time, mostly for comic effect. I think I mean inability to distinguish between real life situations and melodrama, or just not caring about making that distinction)

Best melodrama evah!

Well I would certainly add melodrama to the list tho, of course, this is as much about what we hate in ourselves as well as others, surely?

3. Inability to forgive and holding excessive grudges way past their sell-by date.

this is quite hard to stop doing but it's only really a problem if you have mutual friends (not that i have real idea of grudge sell-by dates tho)

I know, Trayce, it drives me INSANE. It's like some people do everything simply for the *appearance* of *looking* like a nice person, regardless of what they are actually doing behind it all.

It's like they're afraid of actually telling the truth - not for fear of hurting someone, but for fear of looking like a "not nice" person. And then end up causing utter chaos and much worse problems in the long run.

6. Bad facial hair.

tho, of course, this is as much about what we hate in ourselves as well as others, surely?

I don't think there's a single person on this thread who isn't a bit guilty of this! (myself included, before anyone jumps on me.)

I really dislike people who take some observation about themself/one or two other people and extrapolate it as some universal truth to try and prove a point about how they are right. I really dislike people who contribute nothing to conversations but feel the need to try to contribute anyway when they really would be better served just shutting up and not displaying their ignorance about the subject at hand. I also really dislike people who try to wheedle out some sympathy when floundering to gain ground any other way.

I really dislike people who contribute nothing to conversations but feel the need to try to contribute anyway when they really would be better served just shutting up and not displaying their ignorance about the subject at hand.

There speaks a pub quizzer, amirite?

i think that only annoys me when it's on the internet.

matt, it's like you can see inside me

In the inverse Ailsa, what I hate about myself is my bizarre penchant for taking what someone's talking about and making it about me. Well, not that bad, but I tend to say something like "oh I know what you mean, once I also did X"... I'm just trying to sympathise but I end up looking like I'm railroading the topic :( A guy I liked once said "its always a pissing contest with you isnt it?" and since then I have been massively selfconcious about it.

not knowing its/it's.

Another characteristic I dislike in people is sort of branching off from what Kate said - ie fear of confrontation until it's too late. People who just will not use the pressure valve of talking through (usually quite minor, niggly) problems and let the resentment build up until there's an almighty explosion. Both in the workplace and in shared houses and stuff.

Of course, there's a fine line between not doing this and moaning all the time and I'm still not quite sure where that is.

Trayce OTM - I'm conscious of doing that sometimes as well - in the same way I mean to empathise/establish common ground etc by saying "oh I did X too" but then become self-conscious about appearing to be one-upping them. No-one's ever called me out on it as far as I remember though so I'm probably just being paranoid because I've read others' complaints about people doing it.

xposts

See, I just did it there. "Trayce I know exactly what you mean because I DO IT TOO!" ;)

Tom D, got it in one! (though also annoying on internet, yes)

Trayce, introversion like that's OK by me, it's when people go "oh I like pink socks therefore all girls like pink socks" or whatever that I get all cross. Saying "oh, do you, I like pink socks too" is fine, as long as you don't sit there and go "I like pink socks, you like pink socks, all girls/goths-in-denial/Australians/people ever therefore like pink socks" or whatever. It's a ridiculous method of arguing.

I also really dislike people who don't listen to me then try to tell me what I've said to them and get it all wrong then slate me for saying something I didn't actually say in the first place. Though I only know one person who does that, but it's really REALLY annoying.

but if I came across other people who did it, it would sure as hell be annoying (she says, trying not to generalise)

How has this not broken out into ILX META-FITE yet? :D

I don't hold grudges, myself, but if there's one characteristic that's gonna make me dislike you for a good long while, it's vacuousness. Listening to people prattle about the most incredibly unexciting shit with the most incredibly unexciting vocal deliveries is like being trapped in Sartre's mind for the rest of eternity, although I appreciate that my intolerance probably makes me the sort of arrogant shit 90% of this thread is railing against (seriously, though, by 'vacuousness' I mean 'people who talk about nothing other than student politics, rowing, exam results, or the like, whilst holding no interest in the big wonderful world out there', which I think counts as vacuous in anyone's book). I also hate it when people playing on the same sports teams as me visibly can't give a shit.

Trayce please tell me you like pink socks

people who claim to be misanthropes really, really piss me off. attention coffeehouse-dwellers of the world: claiming to hate everybody does not make you ambrose bierce.

Trayce please tell me you like pink socks

Hahah funnily I used to! I had a bizarre obsession with pink when I was about 14. I wanted a "thing"

Then I discovered goth.

sense of entitlement

So this asshole comes storming up to the counter in our local starbucks - because right he's already been served so no waiting in line for him - everyone else can wait while his monumental problem is sorted - and says "can you do something about this?" in such a sneering tone that my first response (had I been the person behind the counter) would have been to pour it over his head. And she was so patient and polite and says "Certainly, what would you like?" and he's still being a twat "Just anything" he says. So she's still polite, looks in cup, sees it's an Americano (I think) and asks would like another with less water, or more water or another shot? All in the most natural way, no trouble at all. And he says "Ohhhhh, whatever" - and stands back waiting for the woman to use her psychic powers to work out just what he wanted.

I mean what was the point? What was he trying to prove? How did he think he would be more likely to get what he wanted by treating this perfectly decent human being in this way?

People who lose their temper and shout at others in a work environment.

People who keep going on and on that you have something to hide because you don't discuss your private life, or what you did at the weekend, at work.

People who fidget loudly, pen tappers, finger drummers, loose-change janglers - these kind of people seem to want to force themselves into your head by constantly making themselves known.

And the tuneless whistlers, normally old men.

I am the most intolerant person I know, I seem to think I have a right to choose what I hear. I should buy a bubble.

People with loud voices

Well, that's me and Mister Monkey out of the friend running for Rumpie and Tom. I'm loud and he's a fidget.

people who don't like cats. actually, no, i don't mind if people "don't like" cats. people who actively hate cats and feel the need to mention that every five minutes, fuck them.

Absolutely. I'm all round suspicious of people who don't like animals, though. Equally, I'm suspicious of people who put their animals before their kids.

Bob Six, have we worked in the same office at any point, or are there more of these types of people around than I feared?

wow, i didn't think it will get so many "new answers"...

People who can't stand characteristics in other people. :-P

Obsequiousness. Desperation.

Inability to realise that's not a fault when I do something, just when someone else does.

Misanthropy rules! So many bad qualities, so little time to enumerate them!
I hold grudges forever.

Also on my hate list: the women who wear filmy wafty swimsuit cover-ups into the grocery store. Also muumuus, caftans, dashikis or any variant of alcoholic hausfrau togs. Or worse, swimsuits with NO cover-up. They wouldn't do that in Larchmont of West Hartford or wherever the fuck they come from, so why do they think they can do it here? Do they think this is one big fucking SPA?
People completely filthy from work in the grocery store, they're okay. I'm one of them.

when people dont stop freaking talking, especially about themselves

Bad listening skills, too. Trying to converse with bad listeners, especially ones who can't stop talking about themselves, is such a frustrating experience for me. Listening is a hard thing to do and I'm not always as good as I could be at doing it, but I can't stand talking to people who don't know how to have a two-way conversation.

These are people who completely ignore what you say but still continue to talk to you so that they can have a platform for their monologues. It's unbelievable how many people are like this.

Excuse me, I wasn't listening.
SUV owners who don't know how to back out of a parking space. I'm trying to not be such a hater-of-my-sister-woman here, but face it, these are all women. I am way harsher on my own kind. Mainly because so many women think that they occupy some sort of moral high ground. Like if women ruled the world it would all be peace and love and massages in the menstrual hut.
Bitches.

At least men KNOW that they are worthless pieces of shit.

i seriously don't know what 'sense of entitlement' means ...? i hear people using it all the time as a complaint, usually about people who are class-wise / race-wise / age-wise something different than the complainant and are behaving in a borderline-obnoxious or snobby way.

fwiw my answer is 'people who take offense not when they actually feel offended, but when they recognize an opportunity to pretend offense'

You do not live in Lincoln Park and buy a Rottweiler, I don't care how sweet they are. Your sense of entitlement has become so overgrown that now you're abusing an animal without even realizing it.

I would say people who buy animals period, no matter where they live. But if these big city dwellers with big dogs adopted them from a shelter I would cut them slack. Sure that dog would be better off with more space but at least they are alive.

I also greatly dislike anyone who has no regard for the feelings of animals.

Also, people who assume they know and understand people based on a few interactions. People always have a story you don't know and don't understand. You are not god and you don't have to right to judge people or pronounce their worth based on your limited knowledge.

On the flipside, my inclination to always give people the benefit of the doubt has cost me sometimes. But I figure it's a good quality and I won't abandon it just b/c a few people do turn out to be assholes.

How do you "pretend to be offended"? Is that like when you "pretend to like" certain music (i.e. pop or indie or whatever is age or gender inappropriate for you?)

Another: when instead of laughing, these totally aloof people just say, in a completely flat and dead way, "That's so funny", "Oh my god that's hilarious." If something was actually funny, you'd laugh, right? I'm surprised this hasn't been said, I'm sure I've heard many people complain about this.

"OMG that's so wrily amusing!"

I also greatly dislike anyone who has no regard for the feelings of animals.

Yea this one really bothers me too. I can't say I dislike the people who disregard animal suffering because that would include many, many people I love (my whole family and many friends for that matter), but that quality definitely bothers me.

Especially when people who absolutely love their pet/cats/dogs (and could never imagine slaughtering such pets for food) but somehow completely fail to generalize that respect/appreciation/value to other animals. I just have a hard time getting it.

remy's is a good one

im going to go with champions of the underdog

I can't stand people who are overly judgmental or dismissive. When someone asks me what I thought of something (like a movie, for example), and I happened not to like it, I'll try to be diplomatic and say something like "maybe it's not my cup of tea" in case the other person really liked it. But I'm amazed at how many people don't concern themselves with this and will just spout off about how much they hated something.

I think I dislike this because it shuts down the potential for useful dialogue. I'll happily engage in a spirited debate about art or politics, but when you approach the subject right off the bat with either vitriol or withering disdain, I find it really frustrating and a barrier to further conversation.

-- jaymc, Tuesday, August 7, 2007 5:26 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Link

uGH YES! i have this one friend who always seems to think she owes it to herself to BE SO BLUNT ABOUT HER OPINIONS, that you end up feeling like you can't possibly have a strong opinion of your own. if i were to tell her i liked a movie she didn't like she'd be like "really i fucking HATED it, here are the 10 reasons why."

it's like, okay, did i ask you for all the history? no, i was more interested in sharing perspectives, not validating your personal reaction.

How do you "pretend to be offended"?

I think it's obvious passive-aggressive bullshit and when people do this. For instance, I used to work with a woman who would get a few beers in her and swear like a sailor. And even without the beers would talk about how much she loved Tarantino movies. Just adored But one afternoon when a mutual co-worker of ours spilled hot coffee on her hand and said 'shit' , the sweary, Tarantino-loving coworker put on a big act of being a blushing Southern belle with a 'why, that language is totally inappropriate - I think you should apologize for your nasty behavior immMEDiately' schtick.

Also, my friend's aunt (knowing my friend is gay) put up a folding map over her eyes when she saw a guy give his boyfriend a peck on the cheek because she finds 'homosexuals' very 'disgusting and licentious' but continued to peek at them out of the corner of her eye all afternoon.

See also: people who regularly watch Catch-A-Predator shows to feel good about themselves, people who sign petitions re. movies they haven't seen, etc.

How do you "pretend to be offended"? Is that like when you "pretend to like" certain music (i.e. pop or indie or whatever is age or gender inappropriate for you?)

It's more when you recognise that someone has said something a bit out of place, and you aren't actually offended by it but you pretend to be as a control thing. I think. I've certainly seen people do that.

Like if, for example, you were hanging around with your brother's girlfriend and your brother, and your brother's girlfriend was in a shitty mood, so when your brother accidentally called her by your name, she pretended to be offended by his inability to tell the difference between his sister and his girlfriend, just so she could make him a bit more miserable than he already was.

people who regularly watch Catch-A-Predator shows to feel good about themselves

How do you imagine this show makes people feel good about themselves? Not being dickish, just truly want to hear your reasoning.

At least, not people who like them enough to own one over 10 lbs.

what does this mean?? under 10lbs they arent really dogs?

The 'Now we're safer that the bastard is behind bars -- serves him right!' attitude is part and parcel of the [german word that means 'pleasure in others' misery that i'm aphasia-ing] that makes me want to scream.

ok, so... people who live in the city but insist on having big-ass dogs. Stupid or so stupid they should be shot?

I hate these yuppie animal-abusing cocksuckers so much. You do not live in Lincoln Park and buy a Rottweiler, I don't care how sweet they are. Your sense of entitlement has become so overgrown that now you're abusing an animal without even realizing it.

Forget putting down the animal when it inevitably gets sick. Shoot the owner, give the dog to me. I know people who like dogs, at least. It'll live better than is it stays all day in your tiny-ass expensive-ass well-appointed apartment.

And also, fuck you.

-- kenan, Monday, August 6, 2007 10:14 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

this is so retarded its blowing my mind