"we'll change the things that need changing and that's all we'll change": the paSUKification of post-brexit politics 2021

I would have though Khan almost losing to that clown Shaun Bailey has pretty much scuppered his hopes of becoming leader once Starmer kills himself.

Khan’s position is that this is the best they could negotiate and the deal avoids the cuts to underlying services that the government was angling for. idk what refusing to go along with it would look like for TfL’s short-term future.

That’s the skull of the first cyclist he ever killed. https://t.co/h8z0JFFg0v

— HRH the Duck of Edinburgh 📕 (@amphitryoniades) June 1, 2021

if you were on death row and Khan was your defense lawyer, he'd be telling you he negged hard to get you ice cream and jelly and several less kickings than you were going to get before you got strapped in the chair.

I would have though Khan almost losing to that clown Shaun Bailey

Ehhh better margins than Boris ever got iirc.

It would be interesting to read any pieces circulating about what Khan could / should have done differently.

In the short term, i'd expect a lot of objections from business. The government constantly looking to pick fights with London, while also reliant on the idea that it returns to being a functional city driving the economy, doesn't seem sustainable.

I've wrote a piece in Tribune suggesting Khan should have karate kicked the transport sec in the bollocks and said Bullshit, Mr Shapp Man!

It did also pay for your childhood home to get onto the tube map for the first time ever. https://t.co/5LA5ZVq8O1

— Leo Gibbons (@Layo_GP) June 1, 2021

rotten Labour councillors

what kind of shitty negotiator are you if you have to "trade off" affordable homes for infrastructure in this situation, they aren't even good at this stuff

— Jack Saundrs ❤🖤 (@jack_saundrs) June 1, 2021

As has been pointed out, it isn’t even a particularly necessary or useful tube station.

that two minute walk from Vauxhall was losing the local economy billions, no doubt

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E20xCxlX0AECLP_?format=jpg&name=medium

wow he was that good you say!

I can't be arsed watching this but apparently there is an awkward moment where the "Kieth" question is brought up. Even though you know he fumes over "Kieth" every day via his many alts, he probably badly tried to play it down as a mere trifle.

https://t.co/Ncol6hj3mI pic.twitter.com/MhQ8ZWjKf3

— wariotifo (@wariotifo) June 1, 2021

I can't help feeling that my hateful caricature useless-fucking-melt-wanker version of Khan fought harder for every one of those £750 000 "affordable" flats in Embassy Gardens that you can only enter through a poor door, than he did against the conditions of that wretched TfL bailout.

Keir Starmer really is living proof that people from working class backgrounds can achieve great things through merit alone. An inspiration.

— CAITLIN HOULBROOK (@CHHoulbrook) June 1, 2021

I'm sure you agree with that, calz.

I've already pre-ordered the Lord Ashcroft book on Kieth. It's called Red Knight which sounds like a character from the Marvel shitverse!

Good news everyone

NEW: Details announced for the Queen's Platinum Jubilee next year, including Trooping the Colour returning to London, Royals attending the Epsom Derby, a music concert at Buck Pal, The Big Jubilee Lunch & a pageant ft over 5,000 people from across the UK and the Commonwealth

— Russell Myers (@rjmyers) June 2, 2021

back to the good old days

https://i.postimg.cc/P5jRVMCH/mmexport1622628096059.jpg

Unfortunately none of that is going to happen because the Queen...is going to die!

Just what's needed to bring the country together. The Queen dying, that is.

she is going to be put down like a sick doggie, with a fatal dose of cocaine and morphine str8 into the neck. But unfortunately not until Gary Barlow has finished his set.

Brian May busting out the Red Special as she's lowered into her grave, commemorated on a tea towel near you soon

I do like the idea of a big party with a Wicker Man at the end.

"I Like a party that ends with a film"

"Film?"

Quality sketchwriting tbfttc

A friend's son, 10, plays in a Herefordshire boys' football league. If anyone shouts 'man on!' the ref blows his whistle and gives a free kick. They are told they must say 'person on'.

— Quentin Letts (@thequentinletts) June 2, 2021

a bit of a classic of the Letts pretend this is real genre!

A lot of people are doubting the accuracy of this but we're a football club and can confirm that this happens with our youth teams. They've also banned the phrase "throw-in" because it sounds a bit like "throne" and upsets Irish republicans. You really couldn't make it up.

— Streatham Rovers Football Club (@StreathamRovers) June 2, 2021

In an era of politics obsessed with “relatability”, Starmer despising his middle name puts him firmly in man-of-the-people territory. Almost everyone hates theirs. Me on Keir Rodney Starmer: https://t.co/8XpGtmsEVU

— Helen Pidd (@helenpidd) June 2, 2021

he's not gonna shag you

no wait

must have been some priceless bantz at his posh school.. I just called Kieth a plonker... the gag of the season lads

KRS-None

“My middle name is soooo embarrassing haha” is one of those strained cultural tropes you often encounter with people who are desperate for things to substitute for personality so this checks out

Spot the difference. pic.twitter.com/rz9vqCxCEe

— Mukhtar (@Mukhtar_iam) June 2, 2021

Labour are so skint they can't even afford individualised starmerbot accounts.

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2021/jun/02/uk-stamp-duty-holiday-extension-prompts-rise-in-mortgage-demand

The eviction ban has now been lifted.

Precarious workers, people of colour, migrants and other working class people in rent debt are being left to fend for themselves. Just to protect landlord profits.

We’ll resist evictions on the streets.

1/

Pic @CitizensAdvice in Jan '21 pic.twitter.com/qKcBWVdlJB

— London Renters Union (@LDNRentersUnion) June 2, 2021

The material in Calzino's tweet is so dire - even if there were only one of those tweets and it was real, it would be unbearable!

"I'll hear nothing else's on the matter" !?!?

they did this before with the forensic thing did they not

The Mail is EXTREMELY horny for Rishi

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9645071/Action-man-Rishi-Publicity-hungry-Chancellor-dons-army-fatigues-visit-Catterick-Garrison.html

Warming for the Daily Mail but also warning for the phrase "<Sunak> looked every inch the statesman in his combat trousers and white t-shirt "

counterpoint: calling him "Action Man" and using the phrase "every inch" is a subtle piss-take

Every inch is not that many in sunak’s case tbf

lol xp

Labour are so skint they can't even afford individualised starmerbot accounts.

It's possibly even weirder than that. The Metcalfe tweet is, unfortunately, real, the 'Flora Gibson FBPE' one is a copy and paste from an account with an AI-generated avatar. It's definitely a bot but unlikely to be a Labour one as the bulk of the recent tweets are about Israeli war crimes or boosting cryptocurrencies, neither of which the Labour leadership is particularly interested in.

I'd guess it's designed to copy semi-popular tweets with a view to marketing Dogecoin but the idea that FBPE / Starmer fans are seen as particularly susceptible to overhyped scams is probably a solid one.

they've worked out that it will be like selling candy to a baby with gullible fucks like Paul Mason!

You are the original and the best John, don't worry about the competition.

— Simon Hedges (@Orwell_Fan) June 3, 2021

I must say, the increasingly fashionable spectacle of city-dwelling graduates vaguely involved in the media generalising about senior citizens in often deprived, neglected post-industrial places is quite a thing

— John Harris (@johnharris1969) June 3, 2021

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E2-5atmX0AQPR3L?format=jpg&name=large

that Hedges post was succinct .. and funny!

Ignoring all the other laughable stuff about that Harris tweet, I suspect what he actually means by "generalising about" is "reading and interpreting statistics", as it's all based on the Ben Walker New Statesman piece. From what I've seen, people have generally been making interesting comments based on material and demographic analysis, which indirectly I supposed discredits Harris' whole oeuvre.

yes he's trying to kick back against them voting demographic stats, because it means his whole oeuvre - to put it very politely - is fraudulent.