"we'll change the things that need changing and that's all we'll change": the paSUKification of post-brexit politics 2021

My irony detector definitely registered significant activity.

terrible that some of these rich brats will have to join horribly American exclusive clubs that might not even approve of fucking pig's heads and burning $100 notes in front of homeless people

Clearly these are not Britain's brightest

A real person. A focus group person. pic.twitter.com/x7WdgoOtDT

— Simon Vessey (@Simon_Vessey) May 30, 2021

Zarah Sultana, a REAL football fan.

Trinity in dublin has long been famous for being both an elite university for irish students and a dumping ground for rich english thickos

Ditto St Andrews.

oh really that makes sense

I visited Batley and Spen to hear from local people about the issues that matter to them.

Labour is making a difference to communities like this one right across our country.

I urge everyone to #VoteLabour and for our great candidate @kimleadbeater pic.twitter.com/FK2Mc93pC4

— Anneliese Dodds 💙 (@AnnelieseDodds) May 30, 2021

Hello I'm a former shadow chancellor and recent recipient of a frontal lobotomy and a demotion from Kieth. I've got absolutely nothing to offer you.. just want have a wee chat about the Labour party because the enthusiasm to talk about the party in Batley is off fucking the charts, I lied to myself after the 36th consecutive door was slammed in my face.

it could be worse I suppose. George Galloway worse!

I suppose saying "we are listening" is a good enough substitute for offering nothing in Kieth's mind.

That video is very very haunted

inspirational stuff, but if I had to put a grand on the by-election result it wouldn't be on Labour.

Fuck is this?

Absolutely farcical stuff from the DFT, slash spending by £300mln, increase revenue by £1bln and pick a line at random and make it driverless. How could the mayor agree to this fantasy? https://t.co/6kabGP38Ja

— RMT Piccadilly & District West (@PiccadillyRmt) June 1, 2021

"review TfL’s generous pensions scheme"

Weasel-wording scum

I see some of the Left posters are attacking Khan's negotiating approach, not sure if he could have done better but it doesn't compare very favourably with Manchester. And he is a wanker!

Good god. pic.twitter.com/kRGeMLwpnY

— James Melville (@JamesMelville) June 1, 2021

I see some of the Left posters are attacking Khan's negotiating approach, not sure if he could have done better but it doesn't compare very favourably with Manchester. And he is a wanker!

― calzino, Tuesday, 1 June 2021 bookmarkflaglink

He has just signed it off without any fuss. Why has he been elected?

https://www.dalipaintings.com/images/paintings/the-enigma-of-william-tell.jpg

xp
the enigma of Kieth Starmzy!

of course Khan says he fought this very hard etc and now reluctantly blah blah... hard to imagine tbh

You cannot make a London underground line driverless and slash spending at the same time

without being a transport eggspurt this sounds like a fucking recipe for disaster

I bet Khan privately complains about Burnham, because you aren't supposed to do anything popular or good as mayor because they'll all start expecting the same ffs

I would have though Khan almost losing to that clown Shaun Bailey has pretty much scuppered his hopes of becoming leader once Starmer kills himself.

Khan’s position is that this is the best they could negotiate and the deal avoids the cuts to underlying services that the government was angling for. idk what refusing to go along with it would look like for TfL’s short-term future.

That’s the skull of the first cyclist he ever killed. https://t.co/h8z0JFFg0v

— HRH the Duck of Edinburgh 📕 (@amphitryoniades) June 1, 2021

if you were on death row and Khan was your defense lawyer, he'd be telling you he negged hard to get you ice cream and jelly and several less kickings than you were going to get before you got strapped in the chair.

I would have though Khan almost losing to that clown Shaun Bailey

Ehhh better margins than Boris ever got iirc.

It would be interesting to read any pieces circulating about what Khan could / should have done differently.

In the short term, i'd expect a lot of objections from business. The government constantly looking to pick fights with London, while also reliant on the idea that it returns to being a functional city driving the economy, doesn't seem sustainable.

I've wrote a piece in Tribune suggesting Khan should have karate kicked the transport sec in the bollocks and said Bullshit, Mr Shapp Man!

It did also pay for your childhood home to get onto the tube map for the first time ever. https://t.co/5LA5ZVq8O1

— Leo Gibbons (@Layo_GP) June 1, 2021

rotten Labour councillors

what kind of shitty negotiator are you if you have to "trade off" affordable homes for infrastructure in this situation, they aren't even good at this stuff

— Jack Saundrs ❤🖤 (@jack_saundrs) June 1, 2021

As has been pointed out, it isn’t even a particularly necessary or useful tube station.

that two minute walk from Vauxhall was losing the local economy billions, no doubt

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E20xCxlX0AECLP_?format=jpg&name=medium

wow he was that good you say!

I can't be arsed watching this but apparently there is an awkward moment where the "Kieth" question is brought up. Even though you know he fumes over "Kieth" every day via his many alts, he probably badly tried to play it down as a mere trifle.

https://t.co/Ncol6hj3mI pic.twitter.com/MhQ8ZWjKf3

— wariotifo (@wariotifo) June 1, 2021

I can't help feeling that my hateful caricature useless-fucking-melt-wanker version of Khan fought harder for every one of those £750 000 "affordable" flats in Embassy Gardens that you can only enter through a poor door, than he did against the conditions of that wretched TfL bailout.

Keir Starmer really is living proof that people from working class backgrounds can achieve great things through merit alone. An inspiration.

— CAITLIN HOULBROOK (@CHHoulbrook) June 1, 2021

I'm sure you agree with that, calz.

I've already pre-ordered the Lord Ashcroft book on Kieth. It's called Red Knight which sounds like a character from the Marvel shitverse!

Good news everyone

NEW: Details announced for the Queen's Platinum Jubilee next year, including Trooping the Colour returning to London, Royals attending the Epsom Derby, a music concert at Buck Pal, The Big Jubilee Lunch & a pageant ft over 5,000 people from across the UK and the Commonwealth

— Russell Myers (@rjmyers) June 2, 2021

back to the good old days

https://i.postimg.cc/P5jRVMCH/mmexport1622628096059.jpg

Unfortunately none of that is going to happen because the Queen...is going to die!

Just what's needed to bring the country together. The Queen dying, that is.

she is going to be put down like a sick doggie, with a fatal dose of cocaine and morphine str8 into the neck. But unfortunately not until Gary Barlow has finished his set.

Brian May busting out the Red Special as she's lowered into her grave, commemorated on a tea towel near you soon

I do like the idea of a big party with a Wicker Man at the end.

"I Like a party that ends with a film"

"Film?"

Quality sketchwriting tbfttc

A friend's son, 10, plays in a Herefordshire boys' football league. If anyone shouts 'man on!' the ref blows his whistle and gives a free kick. They are told they must say 'person on'.

— Quentin Letts (@thequentinletts) June 2, 2021

a bit of a classic of the Letts pretend this is real genre!

A lot of people are doubting the accuracy of this but we're a football club and can confirm that this happens with our youth teams. They've also banned the phrase "throw-in" because it sounds a bit like "throne" and upsets Irish republicans. You really couldn't make it up.

— Streatham Rovers Football Club (@StreathamRovers) June 2, 2021

In an era of politics obsessed with “relatability”, Starmer despising his middle name puts him firmly in man-of-the-people territory. Almost everyone hates theirs. Me on Keir Rodney Starmer: https://t.co/8XpGtmsEVU

— Helen Pidd (@helenpidd) June 2, 2021