Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

"New York City is as much a character in the film as any of the actors."

guys i'm in a zoom launching a new division at my work, are you ready? i'm going to document the phrases IN REAL TIME

we're all aware of the challenges of delivering at speed across the business

'i've started a yammer group'

i'd say approx 80% of this division is on slack

this meeting is unfortunately disappointingly plain-spoken, sorry to raise hopes

ah just copped a 'drive a successful vision going forward' at the end, nice one

lol fuck Yammer

ime yammer is a minefield of misplaced HR questions, IT complaints, and a few dudes' photobucket

I haven't yet figured out how to use the existence of Yammer for evil.

But it seems like it should be possible. We already have lots of ways of communicating and everyone needs to chameleon their way between them.

"Hey, I stopped by your office but you weren't there. I left a Post-it on your monitor."

"Oh, didn't you get my email?"

"Yeah, but I replied using Teams chat."

"Hmmm. I haven't been at my keyboard, maybe send a text next time."

"Well, I called your cell but you didn't answer, so I left a voicemail."

"Hmmm. I didn't get your voicemail so I messaged you in Skype."

"Huh. I saw that Skype message but Skype said you were offline."

"Oh, crap, I left my Skype on Do Not Disturb by accident."

If we can just get Yammer and Discord and Slack involved as well, no one will ever actually reach anyone because each expects that the other is using a different mode of communication.

> 'i've started a yammer group'

either i was listening to the same announcement or there were a lot of Yammer groups created today (much to the amusement of everybody in the communal watch-a-long slack channel).

sadly i missed the morning one, which sounded like a car crash.

fuck "the narrative" forever. shut the absolute fuck up, everybody who insists on it all the time

v. tired of things being ’iconic’

in these trying times, every timeline has its iconic narrative

You could say I'm a storyteller

fairly tired of things being "toxic" as well

some people call me Maurice

enablement

enablement is quite useful therapeutic jargon when it's reasonably employed in the job it was coined to do. when it goes feral, it has a tendency to shit on the carpet.

the chefs kiss thing annoys me

Recently the wildly popular corporate-speak vocab word “learnings” has infected my workplace, and I hate it. “We recently attended Marketing Fest ‘21, and we’d like to share some of our learnings with you”

Part of why I hate shit like this so much is that I know I’m susceptible to picking it up. I frequently find myself at a loss for an alternative to “deliverables”, for example.

Well that’s just it. Perhaps the best examples on this thread are words and phrases form which there is no acceptable alternative, because there are part of an annoying as shit avenue of thought.

For which

"Choiceful."

smh

Can't even

"Choiceful."

it's as ugly as Mitch McConnell, but at least it fits the rules of english

Yes but some perfectly good words - like selective, choosy, cautious, purposeful, intentional, and deliberate - were already there.

in case it isn't clear, I consider Mitch McConnell to be multi-dimensionally ugly

any product "reimagined"

I’m not crying, you’re crying

does reimagined smack of pretentious menus.
I can see some benefit in trying to rework the good bits of what has become cliched. Which is what I assume is the motivation behind that process but done wrong it can come off as very pseud.

Xpost ugh yes

It's doesn't annoy the shit out of me or anything

i'm not even sure it's bad

but "rest in power" (seeing a lot of it wrt George Floyd today)...feels weird to me sometimes

Recently the wildly popular corporate-speak vocab word “learnings” has infected my workplace, and I hate it. “We recently attended Marketing Fest ‘21, and we’d like to share some of our learnings with you”

What's worse, "learnings", or "learns"?

Just say "lessons"!

Learnings is vile, and sounds like the person using it has filtered their dialogue into Google Translate and then back again.

i always think of ralph wiggum

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKg2ZzPKl2M

“All - “ as a salutation on an email

lol that’s funny to me. like:

“Friends -“

xpost I do that when I don't know who is the right person to address for someone, idk what else would be any less awkward? like "COLLEAGUES? fellow employees? to whom it may concern?"

“Fuckers,”

Group:

I just say “Hi”

yep

the chefs kiss thing annoys me

― brimstead, Thursday, May 20, 2021 11:54 AM (six days ago)

agreed! Actually I think it is even more annoying than some of the most annoying words and phrases because it tends to be accompanied by gross non-verbal sounds ... like the only worse thing I can think of is if "choiceful" was accompanied by an armpit fart or something

chef's fart

people just missed putting their fingers in their mouths i guess

learnings sounds like you've taken a continuous practise and tried to break it down to something atomistic.
misplaced plural like vinyls.
Is it tied in with having gold stars for each piece you can identify when you should be trying to build up a more complex knowledge or something to that effect.

I've got the idea of experiential knowledge running through my head and the inherent inability to break everything down to actually teachable units without the experiential part being included. Also the map is not the territory and confusing the 2 is not a healthy process. I would be stuck with the idea taht one had to do the physical process and learn how it felt to do it right and how it felt to know where you were going wrong. Which breaks down to practise and trial and error. THough you do need an overarching narrative as to what you want the desired result to be. Still not something you arrive at from simply looking at a blackboard .
Learnings seems to trivialise something that should have a better term but then again should maybe just be part of a wider learning curve anyway. Do you identify the increments and if so does that teach you totally the wrong focus?

This doesn't annoy me but I just heard someone say, "Grit and bear it", and apparently this wasn't a mistake but something that people say... now... or maybe they always have?

Took me a moment to twig that they wouldn't have been talking about gritting roads with Gritty McGritworth McGrit the road gritter, but rather gritting teeth.

It seems a pointless and sort of tautological thing to say whereas "Grin and bear it" is very descriptive and useful.