Mostly Apolitical Thread for Discussing/Venting our Rational/Irrational COVID-19 Fears and Experiences in 2020

Today I spent a few hours outside directing traffic at the drive-thru clinic. About an hour in a kid walks over to the corner near me, stands there, and stares. Just keeps staring. I direct traffic a bit, answer a few questions, then turn back, and there's the kid ... staring. I spend another 30 seconds or so directing some cars and the kid is still there. Suddenly I realize that he thinks I'm a crossing guard, he's been following the rules and I've just been ignoring him, like a big asshole.

He's still there, as far as I know.

Josh just wrote a Lydia Davis story.

lmao

Lol omg

I spent some time talking with a friend last night that is a similar situation to me, in that we don't work fully remote and we also aren't fully on site (he's been back at work twice a week since about November, my schedule is far less consistent but I'd say I've averaged probably 3-4 times a month, depending on the month), so we aren't, fairly, considered essential workers, but also not locked into fully remote. Anyway, it was helpful to hear from someone in a similar boat who shared some similar fears.

There were two things he put words to that made a lot of sense to me to help process and understand our increased anxiety lately, especially wrt to the uneven rollout so far. One was that it's a mental toll every time we have to mask up to head back into the uncertainty of being "out in the work world" and anxiety about who will be masked, who will be safe, what situations will be uncomfortable, etc etc. We'd all become kind of numb to the routine and dealing with it as we can, but seeing a lot of people expressing relief, and rightly so, to NOT feel that anxiety/fear makes it a little more acute to us right now.

The second thing my friend said was that watching people plan vacations, trips, family gatherings, etc. while we remain so uncertain of our "spot in line", for lack of a better phrase, one kind of loses that "hey, we're all in this together" feeling of, say, last summer. My friend's wife, in particular, was having a hard time because her parents, brother and sister-in-law have all gotten both jabs, or will have the second one soon, so they've already planned a family trip to a cabin in early May. But since her and my friend have no idea when they will get their vaccinations, they obviously aren't going to risk it and turned down the invitation. Now, I'd say it's kind of a dick move to plan a mini family reunion after a year now and not wait a few more months until everyone can be there, but I guess people are impatient. Anyway, point being, it's created a wholly new level of anxiety around navigating the have/have not divide for the next few months or so.

Anyway, whatever, I'm sure people have already saw my name below this post and dismissed this as doomposting, but I thought it was helpful to hear someone else in a similar situation put some clearer words to the anxieties I've been feeling. I really debated even posting, tbh, but I highly doubt we are the only two people dealing with these types of feelings and thought it might be worth sharing.

Are your friend and friend's wife high risk? If they've been careful, I'd be less worried about spending a few days in a cabin in the woods with vaccinated people.

They may end up changing their mind, but at the moment the concern was more the 9-hour drive they have to get to the cabin. Typically they hit a hotel half way there when making the drive, but aren't ready for that just yet and aren't excited about a straight shot long drive like that just yet.

lol just yet just yet

Last month before my own jab I realized I'd start to feel less nervous as everyone in my circles increased their vaccination numbers: they're less likely to infect me, I'm far less likely to infect them.

Has there been any confirmation of how easy it is to spread the virus even after you've gotten vaccinated? That is, can I be personally safe but still spread it to others? That's my modest concern.

I have a good friend in the same travel situation as Jon, btw. Her whole family has been vaccinated but she hasn't yet, and won't be double vaxxed until after a family reunion, which she is turning down.

have a feeling summer in NY is going to be uhhhhhhhh nutty, let's say, and i am extremely interested in getting my shot just so there's one less thing out there that's actively trying to kill me (new city drivers, garden variety maskless idiots, ppl doing anti-azn hate crimes, garden variety subway pushers, bootleg fireworks, cops etc)

They should vaccinate fireworks and just have it rain down on everyone, two birds, one (explosive) stone.

Has there been any confirmation of how easy it is to spread the virus even after you've gotten vaccinated?

This is a decent summary from a couple weeks ago:

https://www.advisory.com/daily-briefing/2021/03/04/vaccine-transmission

The Pfizer/Moderna vaccines appear to meaningfully reduce (but not eliminate totally) asymptomatic infections. No word yet on the J&J or other vaccines.

I know people about 10 years older than me -- a few of whom, granted, with pre-existing conditions -- who've had groceries delivered since March, haven't left their homes,

I would guess the number of people who haven't left their house in a year is incredibly small. But this could be geographic, I live in a small city of a quarter-million where people mostly live in houses, people go outside all the time, I don't think I know a soul who hasn't left their house. In New York I can imagine it's different.

i think a better definition than "hasn't left their house" is "still scared to leave their house" and I know a number of people in that boat. Hoping that changes soon.

BREAKING: General population in Massachusetts will become eligible for a #coronavirus vaccine April 19:

-March 22: Residents 60+ and remaining essential workers
-April 5: Residents 55+ and those with one comorbidity
-April 19: General public#WBZ

— Liam Martin (@LiamWBZ) March 17, 2021

think a better definition than "hasn't left their house" is "still scared to leave their house"

OK but those are totally different!

xpost I was trying to figure out what the f was going on in IL in this regard. Ohio, for example, is more or less on par with Illinois, in terms of total population, demographics, etc. And yet the gov of Ohio said they'd open it up to everyone 16+ by the end of March, iirc, but the governor of Illinois said maybe May 1 for "all adults." I know things are changing by the day, but why would the gov of Ohio think their state would be ready by the end of the month, but the gov of Illinois pick a date a month after that?

(A month isn't much, tbf, but it probably feels like more if you've been waiting to be vaccinated.)

Mississippi and Alaska are already vaccinating anyone who asks. I assume in Mississippi’s case part of the answer is low vaccine acceptance. Easy to offer it to everyone if few people are taking you up.

we're in the taxiing on the runaway phase at the end of a 12-hour flight... we have arrived but it's still going to be like half an hour before we get off the damn plane and it's far worse than when we were sitting in the dark halfway across the Atlantic.

er, runway

i just want it to open up to everybody because I'm tired of watching friends of mine get asked by assholes "oh how did YOU get the vaccine? you're not old and I presume you're not high risk even though I don't know your medical history", and all of the other "you don't deserve the vaccine" shaming bullshit.

well that and because i want everybody vaccinated

One time we had to disembark from the plane onto the actual runway in the middle of a crazy storm because the plane couldn't make it to the gate. So I'm expecting it to be a little like that, to extend the metaphor just a touch.

xpost

Population of Mississippi is a fraction of MA. Population of Alaska is a fraction of MI. Populations of Ohio and IL are about twice that of MA. Populations of IL and OH a fraction of CA and TX. I've got to assume vaccinating a small state (like West VA) is easier than vaccinating a bigger state, which is why I picked OH and IL, which are about the same population.

NHS now doing the 50+ people and i got text this morning. one of the possible venues was the Science Museum, which would've been cool, but is an hour's walk away so instead i get to go to the place that's so anonymous its address includes "(Next to Sainsburys)" (on sunday lunchtime)

There's a Guy Works Down the Vaccine Shop Next to Sainsburys Swears He's Elvis

think a better definition than "hasn't left their house" is "still scared to leave their house"

OK but those are totally different!

That Massachusetts announcement suggests to me that, barring the next fuckup, everybody in MA who wants to be fully vaccinated by the end of May will be. That's great news and has me trembling a bit..

I have a friend whose debit card was cloned, and he had to cancel it. Bank says he'll get a new card in the mail in two weeks. He was talking about this on Facebook, and when people said, "Hey, just go to a branch and get a temporary card, they have safety protocols in place," he told all of those people that they were crazy.

He and his wife have been having their groceries delivered *for the past year.*

He's a bookseller and record seller, and he *pays someone to drop off his pre-paid packages* at the post office.

I love the guy to bits, he's one of my dearest friends, so I know it won't help to do this, but sometimes I just want to say, "YOU'RE BEING PARANOID AND CATASTROPHIZING, STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT"

i should mention, too, that he's in his early 50s and has no prior conditions.

well, for a lot of people getting COVID and needing to be hospitalized for it means they'll end up either dead or bankrupt, so it's not really catastrophizing.

It's sort of like, "man, your mental and emotional state would be better if you would...leave your house." his wife takes long walks on a daily basis. he thinks that it's dicey to do so... not a whole lot that i can say except clearly there are emotional and mental health issues happening, but it's just sad to see.

f. hazel, he thinks that I'm insane for going to the grocery store.

I agree with him, and I'm not insane. I go outside and exercise, but I recognize that everyone is going to land somewhere on the spectrum of precautionary measures and it isn't necessarily going to be where I did.

funny how you frame it as i'm being insane, but if i cast judgment on you, it's out of bounds.

i'm getting the fuck off this board.

I guess one question to ask is whether there is any evidence that doing some small to moderate amount of errands while observing masking and distancing has led to COVID transmission. I'm not aware that it has, but I certainly could be wrong.

Nah tabes I totally read you. Everything comes with risk but some people want to reduce the risk to absolute zero which just isn't possible without taking extreme measures well beyond what your friend is doing.

And he's then judging you for doing low risk things safely, masked etc. When millions are vaccinated, reducing transmission, and when everyone being masked in a grocery store reduces risk significantly.

That's fine if that's how he wants it, but considering COVID will probably be endemic, he will probably need to make peace with the fact that risk will never be zero

It'll be much lower due to vaccines and building of natural immunity, and it'll probably mutate to a weaker strain at some point, but risk will be there regardless.

I authentically don't see what's weird about having groceries delivered -- I go to the grocery store but I make one big shop every several weeks instead of going once a week (and I plan better so I don't just drop in to get one thing) and I supplement with farmer's market and delivery for perishables. This is not because I think I'm in grave danger when I go to the store, it's because I think that everybody reducing their time spent indoors with other people by x% is a public health good.

expense of grocery delivery has something to do with it.

plus it's just hard to stay cooped up inside for an entire year

Moodles I don't profess to know but I've always understood the risk to be greater to the actual employees of the grocery store, since they're working an 8-10 hour shift and even masked, exposed to possible airborne germs. definitely employees caught COVID, though probably more before mask mandates.

the risk is much lower if you pop in to shop for say, 5 minutes.

jfc, NY just lowered its eligibility threshold from 65+ to 60+. Big fucking deal. C'mon Cuomo use your big hands for something useful like signing an executive order opening this shit up. He's going to fucking stretch this out forever as a big power play. At this rate I'm getting vaccinated in fucking August.

I know for a fact that tons of people are lying to get the vaccine and it pisses me off, but with this shit I just think I'm the big sucker for waiting.

Expense and also selection! I'm not going to pay out the ass for a bunch of wilted, shitty vegetables, when I know that if I go to the same store, I can get better stuff.

My local grocery is a Trader Joe's so I'm already used to having to go to the farmer's market if I want non-shitty vegetables...

i go to the grocery store several times a week bc i can only carry so much myself without a car :D

i could get them delivered i guess but slots were so hard to get at the start of the pandemic in nyc that i just haven't even bothered trying again

and i'm covid-free baby

it is pretty insulting that they reliably pick the stuff that goes off, like, tomorrow. two packs of bacon that go off tomorrow. thanks fuckheads

Yeah, at the start I couldn't ever even get a grocery delivery slot, so I never bothered. Now, in all the months of going to store would I have gotten sick, had I not most likely already had covid last March? I'll never know. I do know that no one else in my household has had it.

Everything comes with risk but some people want to reduce the risk to absolute zero which just isn't possible without taking extreme measures

Which is what I more or less was getting at on another thread re: the (lack of) flu this year. Now we know that the flu can be more or less put in check. That saves tens of thousands of lives, hundreds of thousands of trips to the hospital, millions of cases (which translates to lost school, lost work etc.). But we now also know what it takes to get there, and I doubt people would prefer what we've done for the past year to a certain degree of acceptance of risk and potential consequences.