Mostly Apolitical Thread for Discussing/Venting our Rational/Irrational COVID-19 Fears and Experiences in 2020

There’s no vaccine for legionnaires disease

i feel like there is huge overlap between the population of idiots who love cruises and the population of idiots who won't get the vaccine

I sense a unique marketing opportunity

One thing to remember, I think, is that people in their seventies and eighties are used to living with a level of risk that most of us are unused to and would be very uncomfortable with, because when you're that age everything is risky. The vaccine drops your personal Covid risk down to a level that still feels high to many of us but probably feels familiar and acceptable to people who are older.

I enjoy cruises, but even in non-pandemic times, consider the following scenarios:

*Your plane experiences a technical malfunction in flight. It is detected in plenty of time, and you return to the original airport, get on a new plane, and you're on your way. If you crash into the water, you're dead, and it's over fast.

*Your cruise ship experiences a technical malfunction while on the water. it stops moving altogether, another ship has to come out and rescue you, and for three days, you are told to shit into a bag and hand it to the stewards of the ship. because of the malfunction, all of your shore excursions are cancelled, you don't get to do anything other than cry in your stifling hot room.

These are also literally small c cruises where the only people under 50 on board are workers, tbh— they're cultural cruises marketed to middle and upper-middle class people who have college degrees. (I've seen the brochures lol). It's not like my 72 year old parents are going to be rubbing skin and pounding frozen margs by a poop-laden pool.

that sounds like about every Regent cruise ever.

where all cruises are like $100,000 and mostly people spending pensions on it

everybody poops

i know nothing and wish to know nothing about cruises. i find the whole idea bizarre.

sorry i just assume every cruise is a poop cruise now

70,000 Tons of Metal cruise was amazing and life-changing. but apparently one year on that cruise the pool area was cleared out and someone was thrown in the brig because he ate this lady's ass in full view of everyone in broad daylight while in the hot tub

(i mean it was consensual , don't want to suggest otherwise, but y'know if you're inches away from someone do u wanna watch them eat ass?)

I was disappointed to find out that 'Viking river cruises' didn't involve rowing a longboat up the Danube and pillaging.

70,000 Tons of Metal cruise was amazing and life-changing. but apparently one year on that cruise the pool area was cleared out and someone was thrown in the brig because he ate this lady's ass in full view of everyone in broad daylight while in the hot tub

"he was away at sea so long, he tried things he never had before"

When the people have nothing more to eat, they will eat the ass.

i went on a coupe music-themed cruises years ago that were pretty awesome, both times it was just a small subset of the cruise, like 400 punks mixing with 2000 midwestern old people, a pretty great combo. no poolside asseating afaict tho

You didn't spend enough time with the old Minnesotans, clearly. Lutefisk and rimming, two great tastes that taste great together.

"come on, if i didn't tell you what it was, you'd love it"

"Let them eat ass"

-Marie Marley

(i mean it was consensual , don't want to suggest otherwise, but y'know if you're inches away from someone do u wanna watch them eat ass?)

unavoidable collateral damage from wanting to watch someone get their ass eaten

cruise immediately renamed to 70,000 Tons of Tossed Salad

70,000 Tons of Butthole

in four and a half weeks!

Class options: window, balcony, butthole.

I've been on two cruises, one of which was last minute and dirt cheap and had awesome food and easy to avoid Texans and Oklahomans, and the other a cruise to Alaska which was incredible in every regard. Which is to say, do I ever need to go on another cruise? No, but if someone invited me on one I'd at least consider it.

70,000 Tons of Butthole

this is extremely zen, I mean how do you assign weight to a hole

I can't wait to cruise

Pretty sure 70,000 Tons of Butthole was the name of Russell Crowe's band, and you can't make me believe otherwise.

xp
https://www.snopes.com/tachyon/2014/07/boneless-pork-rectums-inverted.jpg?resize=865,452&quality=65

I have questions

cotton candy sweetie go
how do you assign weight to a hole?

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/muppet/images/0/0e/Pigsinspace501.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/340?cb=20160822210631

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/muppet/images/0/0e/Pigsinspace501.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/300?cb=20160822210631

Well, it would have been funny.

-Don Henley

If you want to be on a boat in Alaska you can fly to Juneau and take a ferry fyi; you don't strictly have to go on a cruise to see the sights.

cruises don't even seem to be about sight-seeing anymore. half the people I talk to that go on them say "oh we didn't do any excursions, we got drunk on the pool deck all week".

they cancelled the excursion on mine, so I just went to the shopping/bar district in Cancun and got really drunk and much cheaper prices than on the boat.

These boats are huuuuuuuuge. Half of the people could be there to get drunk on the/a pool deck, and there could still be 1000 more people doing something totally different, and the two groups may never even meet. It's basically a giant, floating hotel with little rooms.

Fun fact: when we ported at Skagway in Alaska I learned that each year the local high school gets to use the big ballroom on the boat for their senior dance. The particular year I was there the school had just two graduating seniors, so everyone in the school (and I assume others as well) gets to go to the dance, too, and no one is allowed to bring a date. They call it "going Skag."

that's charming.

I guess I read Trainspotting at too impressionable an age bc that reads v weird to me

T/S: butthole cruising vs. Butthole surfing

Skag cruise would probably be super low key.

Choose going Skag. Choose eating ass in a hot tub. Choose a giant, floating hotel with little rooms. Choose going to the shopping/bar district in Cancun and getting really drunk at much cheaper prices than on the boat. Choose boneless pork rectums, inverted. Choose 70,000 Tons of Butthole...But why would I want to do a thing like that?

https://www.npr.org/2021/03/13/976631541/opinion-the-comfort-of-cow-cuddles

The cows are willing to be hugged, even eager. Sometimes, they'll flop down on their sides and place the heads in the laps of their — well, really, I don't know what to call someone who pays $75 to cuddle a cow. Customer sounds so cold.

And after the year we've had, I see the appeal.

"You cannot hug your friends, or hug your grandkids," Suzanne Vullers, who owns the Mountain Horse Farm in Naples, N.Y., told us. "But you can hug Bella and Bonnie," the half-Scottish Highland, half-Angus cows who reside at her farm.

By the way, Bella and Bonnie's snuggling services are booked solid through May.

I assume they would only let you on board if you're fully vaccinated no? If that's the case, I don't really see the problem.

― groovemaaan, Monday, 15 March 2021 17:56 (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

It's different for every cruise line. Apparently, some require passengers to be vaccinated but not staff (which makes some sense considering passengers are generally older, and from richer countries, and so you can assume they might have more access to get it). Some companies requiring staff but not passengers, and some both.

xpost Just wait until someone throws a fit because an airline won't let them bring their cow on a plane.

"it's only one year old, your website says they fly free"

I was thinking service cow. I always assumed calves fly free already.