“It’s a little too quiet” - US Politics February 2021

I appreciate that the detestability of Ted Cruz has survived the Trump era intact. It's like a lodestone of repulsion, immune to outside effects.

but, really, the detestability of the entire GOP has emerged from the Trump era with only some mussed up hair and a couple of scuffs

Oh I think GOP detestability has gone through the roof! But Cruz's was already at a peak level of its own.

he was too much of an unlikeable asshole to get the nom in a year where GOP voters were determined to nominate an unlikeable asshole

Ted Cruz is the embodiment of taking a huge bite of something and realizing that it's rotten. Or the embodiment of stepping barefoot in cat barf. Maybe both?

just when you're convinced there is no more punchable face than Don Jr.'s, Lyin' Ted appears in the media and reminds you that yes, yes, there is.

meanwhile Eric Trump is like that movie Multiplicity, he must have been a copy of a copy

The embodiment of taking a huge bite of something and realizing that it's cat barf

I don't want to give him a direct link for any eyeballs, but this is some amazing spin from Dinesh D'Souza:

What could @tedcruz do if he were here in Texas? I’m hard-pressed to say. If he’s in Cancun, that means he’s not using up valuable resources of energy, food and water that can now be used by someone else. This is probably the best thing he could do for the state right now

He's still taking up valuable resources of oxygen, food and water on the planet, though. Does D'Souza have any suggestions for how Cruz might resolve this?

If not, I have a good idea.

I’m disinclined to say “never” after 2016 but I think all this reinforces that Ted Cruz will almost certainly never be president

I truly wish D'Souza a very die, too. At least Michelle Malkin hardly has a gig anymore, wish some of the other second-tier crackpots would also perish.

I love that "Ted Cruz is a useless waste of resources" is the only spin they can come up.

*up with

Ted Cruz will go back to his home planet soon, I have on good authority

would love to follow all the way through with the positive thinking of "this guy is of no use to us, perhaps he shouldn't even be in the state"

oh man there's something so weird and sinister about seeing how "government can't do anything" and "government shouldn't do anything" just kind of lay bare the "entitled royalty" aspect underneath

Forgot all about Malkin. Just out of curiosity looked up her Twitter, where it took about five seconds to find "this claim of election fraud is disputed" attached to one of her posts. Okay, that answers that.

Attention Texans, it is your patriotic duty to leave the state immediately to free up scarce resources of energy, food and water. We'll let you know when we get our shit together enough to have you come back and then we'll secede like we always talked about. #dontmesswithtexas #seriouslywecanthandlethatrightnow.

"... this reinforces that Ted Cruz will almost certainly never be president..."

Well, he handily wins elections in TX, so if the secession ever becomes a reality...

I wonder if D'Souza has realized that if he added "lol" to the end of his utterances, he would be one of the sharper political satirists around

I’m picturing Ted Cruz rolling up to random Texas homes, kicking in their doors and feverishly inhaling all the food he can get his hands on, then chugging all the water they have stashed, while the residents meekly try, and fail, to stop him.

i predict that ted cruz will one day be the president of shit

There's always a tweet:

Hypocrites. Complete and utter hypocrites.

And don't forget @MayorAdler who took a private jet with eight people to Cabo and WHILE IN CABO recorded a video telling Austinites to "stay home if you can...this is not the time to relax." pic.twitter.com/KSvkiwxgga

— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) December 2, 2020

Oh the Nelson laughs

😬https://t.co/Ecvs5FCIh6 pic.twitter.com/KMQNdtHnnJ

— rat king (@MikeIsaac) February 18, 2021

Real salt of the earth shit there

You just love to see it.

And by "it", I mean ol' Cruz just continuing to eat shit as he digs his heels in.

Man, if he were to face any consequences from this whatsoever, this Cruz drama would just be way too delish. But alas.

His vote tallies will probably spike because he owned his masochistic constituents so hard.

...this is a thread.

Ted Cruz, speaking now about his Cancún trip, says he began to have regrets right as he got on the plane.

He says he understands why people are upset with him. pic.twitter.com/2b2zrTbTGD

— Sahil Kapur (@sahilkapur) February 18, 2021

Sitting poolside, sipping on a big margarita glass of libtard tears. Literally owned by snowflakes. Ooh yeah, that's the stuff.

12 seconds of pure joy

Sen. Ted Cruz, back in Texas, says it was "obviously a mistake" to go to Cancun.

You can hear protestors chanting "Resign!" in the background. pic.twitter.com/FwA6Dsg4fv

— The Recount (@therecount) February 19, 2021

Ted's mouth: "To the good people of Texas I just want to say the moment I set foot on the plane to leave behind this freezing wasteland for sunny, warm Cancun, my immediate feelings were... regret."

Ted's mind: "Nailed it! And it was just the fifth revision!"

“I was taking care of my family the way Texans all across the state were.”

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/wikiality/images/0/01/OrlyTaitzOwl.jpg

I will admit that while I was freezing my ass off in darkness for 60+ hours, I started to disassociate and imagine myself basking in the sun at an expensive resort, so I guess he's kind of right.

He blamed his daughters when it was his wife.

the bit where she asks if people want to go to cancun and no one replies is so awkward

That really is amazing (amazing, not surprising) how quick he is to shift the attention (read blame) to his daughters. He'd already checked off his dad and wife, so I guess they were next in line. His mom, if she's still alive, had better watch out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrzxW0rsD1Q

When it's going great:

Even all the guys at Fox are like, “This asshole!” https://t.co/Tfo0W1buT1

— Chris Geidner (@chrisgeidner) February 19, 2021

"Part of the uniqueness of patheticness is that it’s bottomless. There’s always something even more demeaning to be done, always something that can be performed with even less grace, always sometime that’ll shame even more ancestors. And when thinking about Ted Cruz, the only other thing that approaches his abject pathetic is Wile E Coyote—who, like Cruz, was put on Earth to collect failures the way a staircase collects dust.”

https://verysmartbrothas.theroot.com/after-throwing-his-wife-his-dad-his-state-his-countr-1846299212

Why didn't he go to Mar-a-Lago instead? The grovelling sycophant warms himself twice.

I still don't think this is going to affect Cruz in any substantive way. Being a perpetual nozzle is the surest route to boundless success in today's GOP. It's what the voters want, nay demand.

- goes to cancun in the middle of a statewide cold-weather emergency

cruz thinks - how can i make this worse

- flies back after literally one day, making it obvious the trip was not necessary, and that he was now only cancelling because of public outcry

cruz thinks - yes but - how can i make this worse

- says it was his daughters' idea

no, not really completely bad enough yet - think ted, think

- say he was just doing what any texan would do

yep, we're getting there! getting 'warm', ted!

yeah this is cathartic for posters, I guess, but to be a GOP satrap in 2021 is to be lauded for being a sack of rotten mayo.

sack of rotten mayo

I know, I know, it's serious

lol

If he was a really good 'dad', he'd abandon his family and let mommy's new friend take over.