Free as a Dodo: UK Politics Welcomes 2021

hopefully nailing him into a steel coffin as a precaution against him rising from the grave as a vengeful lich

"as a precaution they've had to castrate his alien lizard reproductive organ to stop him breeding with himself"

Early indications from the treating team that he is suffering from the medical phenomenon known as "broken heart syndrome" following the death of his lover, Captain Tom Moore. A grim time for our nation. https://t.co/2htwIrQ6op

— Professor Piss Shitty (@doctor___fuck) February 17, 2021

I don't know much about Prince Philip but an odd thing is - many people who presumably don't usually find him hugely sympathetic or interesting seem to watch THE CROWN where he is a major dynamic protagonist?

I think THE CROWN might well be a good idea and well made (I have seen just one episode), but to me it's a bit of a stumbling block that I have spent most of my life thinking that most of the people in it (ie Royals) are not inherently very interesting, intelligent or insightful people, let alone the system they uphold.

I despise and feel absolute contempt for them to the point I'd happily watch a live show of them really getting liquidised by high explosives, but still I soon got over that same hurdle and have quite enjoyed most seasons of The Crown. It isn't that is particularly brilliant or anything but feels like a massive improvement on the usual unwatchable netflix garbage.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EucP-IKWQAEi6L-?format=jpg&name=small

Viz knows what is really going down

This is Bond villain level stuff! https://t.co/AuEQ6pifoK

— David Edgerton (@DEHEdgerton) February 17, 2021

austerity is over! well for the UK military–industrial complex it never really started.

missed the chance to call it Defence Extraordinary Research Projects

British Office-Facility of Armaments

Oh and I suppose he got that job entirely on his merits pic.twitter.com/2Zuvt52e8B

— Rob Palk (@robpalkwriter) February 17, 2021

Voters are expected to have to show ID to vote by 2023 under a crackdown against alleged voter fraud.

Via @TheSun pic.twitter.com/NFSOkeXF5h

— Politics For All (@PoliticsForAlI) February 17, 2021

Oh noes I don't a have a driving license nor a passport.. sorry about getting disenfranchised from parliamentary democracy, Kieth ;P

Kieth is doing a tedious content free speech rn that basically is : I do evolve but I don’t revolve, that was me all along - I just didn't say it before now!

"The Conservatives want to build back. But I don't want to go back... I want our country to go forward."

strong stuff from the self parodic joke of a politician who does speak fluent platitudinous drivel but will never get anyway near power because he's just a pretend tory.

lol it is a plagiarised McD speech

Is it? I was gonna say Sons Of Kemet!

How do you build back?

more like Sons Of Kermit.. amirite

Starmer: "People often ask me why I want this job. The answer is simple: to change people’s lives. When I see an injustice, I want to put it right." Similar to line from leadership election about not walking by when he sees an injustice.

— Sienna Rodgers (@siennamarla) February 18, 2021

like banging up people and throwing away the key for minor benefit fraud, like collaborating with the police to cover up the de Menezes shooting, like congratulating the Night Courts on what a cracking job of administering instant justice they are doing during the London riots. I seriously hope this clown dies very soon.

People often ask me why I want this job.

No-one does this.

lol .. hey boss arsehole I was just wondering if I could take a minute of your very important time to ask you.. why do want this job?

Keir Starmer says in speech there is 'a mood in the air' like 1945 and that it's 'a moment to think again about the country that we want to be'

Unveils new policies:

- Start-up loans for up to 100k businesses
- a 'British recovery bond’, which would be similar to an NS&I bond

— Jon Stone (@joncstone) February 18, 2021

this has got to be the lamest so-called *policy blitz* I have ever seen from labour

that's not a mood, it's a virus

I do have to hand it to Keith, every time I think my opinion of him has sunk as low as possible he manages to do something like this.

Pictured: the British Recovery Bond pic.twitter.com/6mpx5dOPam

— Crowsa Luxemburg (@quendergeer) February 18, 2021

The Court of Appeal has upheld the High Court's ruling that the £1012 fee to register children as British citizens is unlawful.

The Home Office must now act to reduce extortionate fees (it currently makes 60%+ profit on applications).

Nobody should be priced out of citizenship.

— Bell Ribeiro-Addy MP (@BellRibeiroAddy) February 18, 2021

The economy is wrecked, deprivation, inequality, anomie and mental illness are climbing off the scale, all kinds of long term health conditions are going undiagnosed and untreated

Kieth: vote Labour and we will lend you some money to start an artisanal coffee shop

Tell u what tho, expecting nothing and believing in nothing is relaxing as fuck

if there's one thing this country needs, it's more small business tyrants

we need more small business tyrants with regional accents that pretend to be working class and alternate between voting Tory/UKIP. Yes, I see Kieth's path to no 10 much more clearly now, what a great political strategist - he's like a cross between Eddie The Eagle and Roy Cropper.

Sienna Miller just said the main reason Labour is dead in Scotland because most voters there don't believe they could win power in Westminster rather than just say the damage caused by a decade and a half of smug indifference from New Labour. I know it's her job to make them sound good but come on ffs!

laying down the Law

Edinburgh budget latest - a Tory/LibDem/Greens coalition, organised late last night, has defeated the SNP/Labour administration and won a rent freeze for council tenants.

— Joseph Anderson (@janderson_news) February 18, 2021

lol wtf!

xp

sorry I meant Ginger Rogers!

Labour will look after your money, Keir Starmer pledges in bid to build trust

Labour will be the party of "financial responsibility" that thinks twice before spending people's money, Sir Kier Starmer will say today in a speech setting out his approach to the economy.

In an effort to rebuild trust in his party's ability to manage public finances, he will say: "I know the value of people's hard-earned money - I take that incredibly seriously - and I know that people rightly expect the government to look after it too, to invest wisely and not to spend any money we can't afford. Those are my guiding principles."

It's a hard old station when Joseph fucking Biden is the wild-eyed socialist firebrand across the water!

re: ‘British Recovery Bonds’, the question is what are they for? If the answer is ‘to fund state investment’ then why would govt want to borrow at above market rates? If it’s to give people interest on savings, fine, but they don’t help finance recovery, they add to debt cost

— Jon Stone (@joncstone) February 18, 2021

xp

ordinary Joe is a fucking lefty radical firebrand next to this joke.

apparently his live stream started with 2.7k and finished with 1.4k hardy souls still listening

that's the magic of starmermentum right there

purple backdrop and purple tie as well. beyond pathetic.

Amazing that this was trailed as an 'ambitious new policy agenda to rival the Beveridge reforms'. It almost feels like someone is stitching him up.

lol Labour Press retweeted that withering Jon Stone tweet from above about the paucity and wretchedness of actual policy content in Kieth's speech, fuck knows how you could read it any other way tbh!

I would like to set ideology aside to consider whether Kieth is actually any good at what he's setting out to do but I assume that's a no-brainer.

Would be interesting to see anybody who hasn't swallowed the Blairade making a case for him.

if they were going to be completely honest they would have to concede that Corbyn was a much more talented and skilled communicator of his ideas, at least give him that.

you need a lot more charisma and a gift for bullshitting to try and dress up a paucity of ideas and policy commitments as *something*. This lad hasn't got a fucking clue what he is doing, he's just embarrassing himself.

I don't see anybody from the melt posse of the PLP who would be much better than him either tbh

obv he is not really enjoying himself and is just trying his best to make Burnham look good before he get's sacked. He's that crap and polling so badly he must know he's on borrowed time.

Starmer repeatedly saying key words like 'business' , 'family', and 'patriotism' all in the hope that the media will be nice to him again like they were when he was clearing the Left out of the party.

"I thought we were friends! You called me forensic!" he yells into the abyss.

— Elaine Scattermoon (@scattermoon) February 18, 2021

there was an absolute prize pumper on PM who was an enthused Kieth fan and used the term "evidence based" to explain his successful approach to opposition, but thankfully there was also a grumpy Scottish guy and a woman with a NE accent who totally ripped into how useless he is.

"evidence based" is a hugely useful verbal tag so you know that whatever the person is saying will be reactionary bollocks