Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

It may be a specifically Air Force term - I hadn't heard of it until recently

Rhonda??

Reductio ad absurdum is a good one

Rhonduction ad absurdum

ymp you may think 'postmortem' is bad but just wait until you work somewhere that wants to discuss the 'learnings' from a project i.e. things that didn't work. when you discuss these learnings please feel free to refer to the actions you might take next time as 'builds' i.e. 'um i have a couple of builds on that one' and everyone else at the table's like uh oh here we go

You will be heartened to know i annihilated candidates for buzzwording me at interview last week

where did you dispose of their remains?

Im a midranking civil servant when i leave the room i presume someone scurries in to handle it

'starter pack' as an adjective. come off it.

i annihilated candidates for buzzwording me at interview last week

I'm enormously heartened by this, as predicted.

Okay maybe this is more a "use other words please" than an "annoy the shit out of me," but:

"That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works."

...is approaching the status of being played out like an 8-track.

What everyone really needs to accept is that it’s horribly grating to hear anyone say anything that anyone else has ever said before

― devops mom (silby), Friday, July 6, 2018 6:18 PM (five months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Wednesday, December 12, 2018 9:41 AM (one year ago)

― Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Monday, March 2, 2020 11:05 AM (eleven months ago)

requoting myself mostly because I've taken to avoiding cliché like the plague coronavirus and as you can see it's difficult to do!

people who merely say xxx is "not working", and force you to ask 700 follow-up questions to actually get any specifics as to what they mean.

this is the most useless phrase if you're having a technical issue at work, and it usually suggests to me that you actually aren't interested in solving the problem if you repeatedly use it.

Yeah framing technical issues as "not working" means that you just want to complain about it and claim you're powerless at the mercy of "idiots" around you. Notice that if you ever hear someone like that tell you a story about it the support or management characters are always suspiciously unwilling to help at all.

I hate how often I have to say "Does that work for you?", "if that works for you," "if that works," "Would it work if," blah blah blah in work emails.

That's how you know something is good at work, if it "works".

"This is not what I signed on for!" = irksome

"....if that makes sense"

I definitely do that with students, Tracer Hand, and it bugs me that I do it.

i do that bc i'm pretty convinced most of the things i say don't make sense

it's prob just a socially acceptable form of reflexive self-deprecation tho and i should work on using it less

it's prob just a socially acceptable form of reflexive self-deprecation

yeah!! I do it too ... I think when I do it, I am hoping that the person(s) I am talking to will respond with either "yes, it does" so I can move on to the next step in my explanation/thought process or will tell me what specifically did not make sense, so that I can explain that piece of it. I know I definitely use this because I have a tendency to mentally jump around a bit and not think in as linear a fashion as some people ... also, my perception is: if you are talking about something that you know more about than the other person, then you are going to be more likely to make connections that they won't or move more quickly from step to step, just like walking through your own house vs. walking through someone else's house that you are less familiar with.

https://reductress.com/post/tell-me-if-this-makes-any-sense-says-woman-about-to-read-completely-normal-email/

Depending on how it's said and to whom, it could convey anything from consideration to condescension.

xp lol and :( ...

"I hope this makes sense" = preemptive self-deprecation.

"Does that make sense?" = I actually need you to confirm that we are on the same wavelength so that we can proceed.

Yea for the latter I use that in training

"Does that make sense?" = I actually need you to confirm that we are on the same wavelength so that we can proceed.

I do this with my wife, because we need to talk over things that have real importance to one another and miscommunication is v easy.

what does she say

It depends on whether it made sense to her, but usually 'yes'.

I really think this is related to why people say "...right?" all the time while lecturing/podcasting/whatever. In formats where your audience can't talk to you to assure you that you're making sense, you still have that instinct to ask them if they're on board before going on.

I struggle with this as I teach courses that often have very tight windows of time and can't be extended, which is pushing up against the need to ensure everybody's getting it. without eyes and nobody language, I have a tendency to assume nobody understands anything I say (I have mild OCD which causes me to obsess over it to where I overexplain sometimes).

I'm afraid of asking in a way which doesn't encourage response, i.e. "any questions?". I do like to use listening questions that can't be answered in "yes/no", but not everybody is confident enough to be the first to speak up there. so sometimes I'll slip in a "does that make sense" because if it doesn't to multiple people, they'll often say so, and that gives me license to find another way to explain it (I *love* whiteboard examples for mathematic concepts in my 401(k)/pension classes).

"i'm just conscious of time..."

My 'quarterbacking' colleague mentioned upthread uses that one a lot. Usually seems to mean "I'm conscious of time, but I'm going to carry on waffling anyway, and set a precedent for everyone else to do the same."

I don't find 'does that make sense' annoying, really. I appreciate being asked tbh.

Something I've caught myself doing a lot lately, and it really bothers me, is using 'I don't know if...' instead 'Is there...' or 'Do you...'. As in, 'I don't know if you have those figures already so I can fill them in.' 'I don't know if you have a policy on this.' I'm not the only one either - one of the clients does this too and now that I've noticed it I can't unnotice it.

"Does anybody have a hard stop at xxx?". I mean, I use it too, but I do kind of resent the idea that we view meeting ending times as "optional". like, I might not have another meeting coming up BUT I probably do need to actually do other work so if you continually go over time and smugly ask "oh does anybody have a hard stop or can we extend the meeting aimlessly for another hour", I get pissed.

I used to on principle just hang up without answering the question at the end time.

I use it after what I deem a long-winded answer to a student's question.

Something I've caught myself doing a lot lately, and it really bothers me, is using 'I don't know if...' instead 'Is there...' or 'Do you...'. As in, 'I don't know if you have those figures already so I can fill them in.' 'I don't know if you have a policy on this.' I'm not the only one either - one of the clients does this too and now that I've noticed it I can't unnotice it.

― salsa shark, Thursday, February 25, 2021 2:47 PM (ten minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Mmmm this can be a really important tactic to soften a question, if you are outranked by all the people you're presenting to. In fact a number of things noted here re teaching & facilitating are actually strategies to mollify & appear positive and unthreatening to listeners.

Obviously ymmv and I'm sure they can all be used passive-aggressively or used in some lazy way that is annoying but they are also helpful conventions sometimes.

I have facilitated a lot of meetings with people I have no authority over or who outrank me and in many cases are actively hostile toward me. :/

^ ugh, I have bad memories like that and it reduced me to a stuttering mess.

including the director who once deliberately scheduled a meeting with me during lunch when they knew I was training (so I wouldn't be able to eat) and brought an Executive on the call to intimidate me into doing what they wanted.

Yeah it's really difficult! Maybe thread is otm and the softening tactics just make your position weaker and are less helpful than they appear but anyway, I just wanted to note that some of this stuff can be coping techniques. Carry on!

it's totally coping techniques. I used that and a lot of others to try and ask for what I wanted without "failing to know my place".

anything that helps get your point across works for me. I just wish the silly power dynamics didn't exist. that's why I left management years ago.

not before I made a few mortal enemies of 2 executives though, who refuse to speak to me anymore

in orbit, that is most of my work life. The position description literally includes "ability to lead without authority."

So I can't demand things, I can only try to sell people on the benefits of doing what I want. There is a lot of persuasion and negotiation and consensus-engineering involved. Reflexive self-deprecation is strategic in these instances.

"You folks are the experts, but..." "Hate to be the Meeting Tyrant, but..." "I know everyone's crazy busy, but..."

Oh god YMP that sounds...challenging. To one's sanity. That was the (mostly) unspoken/unacknowledged nature of my last two jobs and I don't think I could do that again.

In nonprofit spaces a "postmortem" will sometimes be called a "plus/delta" where pluses are the things that went right and deltas are suggested changes.

Again, very softening language that prioritizes growth & doesn't blame.

you mean "builds"

"learnings"

and yes i agree there is a good motivation behind these partic euphemisms

OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

LEARNINGS

For people who can’t hold knowledge or take lessons.

Also sounds like it’s a German person trying to find the right word, no matter who says it.