Pitch your dark, gritty reboot

Sons of Anarchy after the state of California imposes draconian emissions restrictions on motorcycles.

The Late Late Show With Tom Snyder but Tom Snyder is bleeding profusely from every orifice

sounds like Eric Andre is involved

Mary Tyler Moore works for InfoWars

Wasnt this what was happening anyway

That was the joke, yes

xp - June Cleaver was a nurse in the camp who dealt with "female issues" of the prisoners. Being a housewife is a big change for her. ... In season 2, Beaver learns that he was actually adopted due to his parents inability to conceive due to the effects of living and working in the V2 facility, and he speculates wildly as to who he really is. Was he Anna Unger's son with a prominent Nazi scientist? Was his father even higher up in the Nazi command? Was his father, in fact, Adolf Hitler himself?

Kids Incorporated only it’s set in a suburban basement and the kids are all undocumented and spend their time sewing fashion knockoffs for the people who own the house

Hill Street Blues but all the detectives have teamed up as a human centipede, starring Dennis Franz as Detective Andy Sipowicz/The Head and David Caruso as John Kelly "bringing up the rear"

Or even say, NYPD Blue

xxpost very week the songs they perform contain coded messages asking for home viewers to rescue them because the home owners are abusive

ok guys human centipede has been invoked, everybody out of the thread for a short decontamination

Sister Sister but every episode a tooth falls out of one twin’s mouth

Friends only it’s Rent

xpost the same twin's mouth every ep or does it alternate

was gonna say Dilbert but I forgot it already exists

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flWuvkNWuS4

Eddie Haskell, Wally's best friend, is the bad influence he was in the original series. In this new version, Eddie is a motorcycle enthusiast and sometime drug mule for an older group of motorcycle enthusiasts who sell drugs and are affiliated with the KKK. Eddie learns who his buddy, Wally, really is, and wants to use Wally's real identity to impress his biker buddies and move up in their organization. Will Wally help his pal, or will he be loyal to his family and keep their secret.

Simpsons but Homer's obvious intellectual disability/substance problems/emotional inaccessibility are treated with appropriate care and sensitivity

Will June use her medical knowledge and prevent Eddie from further endangering her family?

Kojak, where now instead of constantly sucking on a lollipop he's always smelling his fingers. It's weird and it makes everyone uncomfortable.

Full House but it's the house from Hellraiser

I really think this Leave It To Beaver reboot has legs

Oh and then there's the storyline with Ward's secretary, Grace. Grace starts dating a nice man who works as an installer/repairman for the telephone company. He is black, but "one of the good ones" a phrase that keeps getting repeated throughout the office and then at home. Then Grace, the only daughter of strict (and also racist) Catholic parents, gets pregnant. It's definitely June to the rescue, but what will be the solution?

seinfeld but the entire series takes place after they go to prison

Use the entire cast of Oz

George has to bunk with Vern Schillinger

Kramer accidentally shanks Said and becomes head of the Muslims

Batman - Alfred kills Bruce’s parents so he can raise the boy as his own

The Apprentice

Breaking Bad but he's kind of terrible at science and dies.

murdered for being bad at science, you hate to see it.

The Apprentice

― John Wesley Glasscock (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, February 4, 2021 7:48 PM (five minutes ago

too soon

the only way I'm watching a reboot of the Apprentice is if it's the final scene of Goodfellas with Trump's face deepfaked onto Liotta's body

dr. katz, professional therapist, in which he gently and with a surfeit of dad-jokes pushes his celebrity clients towards suicide.

Bobs Burgers but Louise talks the other 2 into Menendezing Bob and Linda

the only way I'm watching a reboot of the Apprentice is if it's the final scene of Goodfellas with Trump's face deepfaked onto Liotta's body

sorry that's what makes it dark, it's just the same show as before, all is forgiven

feel like i'm zoolander to will's hansel in a walk-off. way to duplicate, then elaborate.

I think we just spent the past 4 years as extras in this reboot

that was just the spinoff

Teletubbies -- but they live underground because an asteroid hit the earth and it is actually a desolate wasteland. The only reliable source of protein are young animals and children which they lure in with their bright costumes and playful manner. Half of each episode is a cooking show.

lol

*a cooking show where the four Teletubbies compete to make the most delicious dish out of whatever protein source has ventured their way.

Making the Band - Diddy is unstable and kills a band member an episode, last person standing gets solo deal

we already have the Dark Teletubbies credits footage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98lOJGTe1M0

oh and each episode there is a celebrity judge

Shark Tank - billionaires travel to an island in the Caribbean where they feed a child to sharks

not if the Teletubbies get it first!!

Shart Tank - buncha people fed laxatives and forbidden from pooping, first who touches cloth loses

Real Sex - exactly the same but now you have to see all those suburban swingers in 4K

also there are three GAPING ANAL specials

rugrats except the characters are actual rats who live under your rug