Free as a Dodo: UK Politics Welcomes 2021

He’s had a fucking nightmare here

I'd say the magic's gone but twas ever thus!

Critical support for... Boris Johnson?

if boris had lamped kieth he'd have secured my vote, i am a one-issue voter and that issue is kieth getting punched

denying you said something when you did - none more prime ministerial

If I stuck to my guns really adamantly about something like that at work or whatever and turned out to be wrong I'd still be waking up in a cold sweat about it ten years later. And he's done it in front of the entire fuckin nation, on camera, while running an entire personal brand of "I am boringly competent"

blasting "Ashes To Ashes" today at 6pm in tribute

I will be dying as a result of an illegal holiday to Barbados in tribute. Please arrange for my carcass to be couriered to BA's marketing team

I'm going to be clapping some zinc oxide onto my throbbing haemorrhoids or my Keirs & captain Toms as I now call them!

No point putting any zinc oxide on Kieth, he's shrunk so small today he's on the subatomic level

It is indeed pretty fucking wild that Cap'n Moore was in Barbados a month or so ago, couldn't be vaccinated due to some compatibility issue with other medication he was on (iirc?) but was still allowed family at his bedside (according to their statement).

He had pneumonia!

He had post-covid pneumonia but so did my partner's mother recently and she had a first jab while still recovering from that - so I'm confused about what the barriers were here tbh

Where are all the Captain Tom conspiracy theories is what I want to know.

JEEEEEEEESUS CHRIST

NEW: Labour say Starmer "misheard the Prime Minister" during PMQs.

“Keir accepts that, on this occasion, the Prime Minister was referring to old comments about the European Medicines Agency and Keir admits he was wrong and made a mistake in his response."

— Tony Diver (@Tony_Diver) February 3, 2021

SORRY BOSS

He's lost the dressing room lads

THIS SENILE OLD TROT CAN'T RRMEMBER WHAT HE'S SAID ONE WEEK TO THE NEXT

I can't wait to see how he reacts to some real concerted pressure, like say during an election campaign when the knives are out for whoever the Labour leader is, even if they aren't as lefty as Corbz and pretend to fuck flags and salute Prince Andrew!

He’s got at least three Gillian Duffy moments in him

He'll be gone before the end of the season. Imagine how stressed the Blairite cunts propping him up feel already, only thing is they'll be shitting themselves at the thought of a leadership election

I can see those locally and nationally who betrayed Jeremy and moved on to support Keir as a career move are now moving inch by inch to abandoning him too. We need people with principles to save our country.

— Thelma Walker (@Thelma_DWalker) February 3, 2021

😫 pic.twitter.com/V3LI7EVvyW

— Nev (@emptylakes) February 3, 2021

Their last alb was shit

for FUCK’S sake

Is that for real?

Who can forget those shoegazing walks?

This just keeps getting worse and worse

"Onlookers described [Starmer] as maskless, “rattled” and “puce”" https://t.co/jkWyphDeR1

— Rory Scothorne (@shirkerism) February 3, 2021

Maskless, Rattled and Puce was the first solicitors firm he worked for

Maskless, rattled and puce vs the leader she told you not to worry about
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EhEJ1JLWkAA8Jai?format=jpg&name=900x900

maskless, rattled and puce vs red, mad and nude

Were you not assuming he was nude during this?

he’s the least nude man in history

Hold on did we do the clap for war criminals thing or did I get the time wrong?

mods please insert picture of Kieth's head shopped onto Tobias Fünke here

Nobody clapped here in the bit of central London with loads of hospitals in it.

Nobody here either, we were walking back from being out&about.

Rewound the TV news, no coverage it seems.

Was out walking the dog and there was no clapping round our way either. Badger did two dollops though if that counts?

Well, so far that's as far as it's gone!

Hope you gave him a wee clap xp

some very good scothorne https://bellacaledonia.org.uk/2021/02/02/frankensteins-scotland-beyond-radical-independence/

Shuffling about on the pavement for ages he was, all hunched up and everything xp

but enough about Johnson

The fella I follow who is all 'tut tut, disgraceful nationalism' about the SNP has been pretty fucking quiet regarding the plans for flag fucking.

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/37a073c4e27be47fe920dcb9f8b9f30bd9cce632/0_264_3295_1977/master/3295.jpg?width=1200&height=1200&quality=85&auto=format&fit=crop&s=e11d632689224002a8ffdab1c8b892cf

https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-V4hTjk1oCGY/VrriOXfoe3I/AAAAAAAApFg/1qLjmx_6tf4/s1600/WomenInLove-9.jpg

cctv footage of the naked manfight in SW1 has emerged

captain tom rawdogging vera lynn in heaven right now

— joolsd (@joolsd) February 3, 2021

I not going to put up with his family using his usual postal vote for the Tories, that is electoral fraud.

Sounds like a perfect Valentine's Day present for the lady in your life.

'are you wearing the cap-'
'the captain tom mini skirt? yeah I am' pic.twitter.com/daRER4xDr8

— mark ✨ (@nellypotahto) February 3, 2021

I just - pic.twitter.com/Zt7TK6VKzF

— Ross McCafferty (@RossMcCaff) February 3, 2021

it would be a fitting tribute to a *living* statue tbf!