Free as a Dodo: UK Politics Welcomes 2021

imagine having to try and keep a straight face while sir kermit squeaked out a challenge to physical combat

i continue to be amazed that anyone thought the architect of Labour’s Brexit policy would be fit to do more than stack wood

Think its time to look at AVB again tbh

like.... this is the issue that split your party. this is the circle you failed to square. this is where you chickened out at the last second and disastrously supported a people’s vote, handing the tories all the ammunition they would ever need to call you the party of dither and delay. sure corbyn and mcd share some of that blame. but it’s your entire brief! and you fucked it, comprehensively! and now you’re leader??

Some amazing deluded comments from Starmer fans

Money’s on Starmer. Fitter. Lighter on his feet. Johnson looks one step too close to a heart attack if asked to exert himself.Johnson could possibly squash him but I doubt he could last to the bell.

— CJ Smith (@cadenzasmith) February 3, 2021

it’s a bit like t may, tbh. you campaigned against brexit - and now you’re in charge of implementing it?? this fuckin country

imagine having to try and keep a straight face while sir kermit squeaked out a challenge to physical combat

Kieth dragged away screaming "but the love the Queen" according to eye witnesses

*I*

Tracer, what your analysis fails to take into account is that the election result was not in fact about brexit but aboiut Jemeny Cumbyn, who is a very bad man.

That being said, now that it's all done we must accept the result and hump the union jack.

You’ll know you’ve fucked the flag enough when you’ve changed it into an England flag without needing to bleach it.

The way the politico-media complex treats veteran conscripts alive or dead has always been disgusting, dishonest, the final insult on the top of the pile. But the beatification of one dead centenarian in the name of erasing 100,000 plus victims of government indifference is some new low of collective self-hypnosis

hope keir's not over-exerted himself there, need to save your strength for clap-wanking yourself into a frothy batter later on

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/04/19/article-2311407-1957AAAF000005DC-357_634x740.jpg

Dear oh dear https://t.co/X4aEylb2Pa

— Mr Demos of Pnyx (@gem_ste) February 3, 2021

lol, time to give it up Kieth - you make Boris look forensic

He’s had a fucking nightmare here

I'd say the magic's gone but twas ever thus!

Critical support for... Boris Johnson?

if boris had lamped kieth he'd have secured my vote, i am a one-issue voter and that issue is kieth getting punched

denying you said something when you did - none more prime ministerial

If I stuck to my guns really adamantly about something like that at work or whatever and turned out to be wrong I'd still be waking up in a cold sweat about it ten years later. And he's done it in front of the entire fuckin nation, on camera, while running an entire personal brand of "I am boringly competent"

blasting "Ashes To Ashes" today at 6pm in tribute

I will be dying as a result of an illegal holiday to Barbados in tribute. Please arrange for my carcass to be couriered to BA's marketing team

I'm going to be clapping some zinc oxide onto my throbbing haemorrhoids or my Keirs & captain Toms as I now call them!

No point putting any zinc oxide on Kieth, he's shrunk so small today he's on the subatomic level

It is indeed pretty fucking wild that Cap'n Moore was in Barbados a month or so ago, couldn't be vaccinated due to some compatibility issue with other medication he was on (iirc?) but was still allowed family at his bedside (according to their statement).

He had pneumonia!

He had post-covid pneumonia but so did my partner's mother recently and she had a first jab while still recovering from that - so I'm confused about what the barriers were here tbh

Where are all the Captain Tom conspiracy theories is what I want to know.

JEEEEEEEESUS CHRIST

NEW: Labour say Starmer "misheard the Prime Minister" during PMQs.

“Keir accepts that, on this occasion, the Prime Minister was referring to old comments about the European Medicines Agency and Keir admits he was wrong and made a mistake in his response."

— Tony Diver (@Tony_Diver) February 3, 2021

SORRY BOSS

He's lost the dressing room lads

THIS SENILE OLD TROT CAN'T RRMEMBER WHAT HE'S SAID ONE WEEK TO THE NEXT

I can't wait to see how he reacts to some real concerted pressure, like say during an election campaign when the knives are out for whoever the Labour leader is, even if they aren't as lefty as Corbz and pretend to fuck flags and salute Prince Andrew!

He’s got at least three Gillian Duffy moments in him

He'll be gone before the end of the season. Imagine how stressed the Blairite cunts propping him up feel already, only thing is they'll be shitting themselves at the thought of a leadership election

I can see those locally and nationally who betrayed Jeremy and moved on to support Keir as a career move are now moving inch by inch to abandoning him too. We need people with principles to save our country.

— Thelma Walker (@Thelma_DWalker) February 3, 2021

😫 pic.twitter.com/V3LI7EVvyW

— Nev (@emptylakes) February 3, 2021

Their last alb was shit

for FUCK’S sake

Is that for real?

Who can forget those shoegazing walks?

This just keeps getting worse and worse

"Onlookers described [Starmer] as maskless, “rattled” and “puce”" https://t.co/jkWyphDeR1

— Rory Scothorne (@shirkerism) February 3, 2021

Maskless, Rattled and Puce was the first solicitors firm he worked for

Maskless, rattled and puce vs the leader she told you not to worry about
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EhEJ1JLWkAA8Jai?format=jpg&name=900x900

maskless, rattled and puce vs red, mad and nude

Were you not assuming he was nude during this?

he’s the least nude man in history

Hold on did we do the clap for war criminals thing or did I get the time wrong?

mods please insert picture of Kieth's head shopped onto Tobias Fünke here

Nobody clapped here in the bit of central London with loads of hospitals in it.