Free as a Dodo: UK Politics Welcomes 2021

yep

i'm not gonna conspiracize about the reaction to the "£500 to isolate" story because i'm not following much and it's not worth following but i'd like to note that ime the gammons are fucking foaming about it and it's doing satan's work in destroying the notion of financial support as a means of encouraging lockdown measures

when it gets to 2000 deaths a day Pat Valiance will be saying you have to batten up your doors cos this new Rona variant can shape itself like a key and unlock them.

Earlier I was walking past the local rugby clubhouse and although it was blacked out there was the sound of music and pissed up noise. Do I get a PS5 for grassing them up to the pigs I was briefly thinking, because in their war against dog shit they put poisoned food around the rugby pitch and my dog got very ill once. Right bunch of thugs and knaves - I would grass them up if I wasn't so strongly driven by the no grassing rule from the pickpocket regs.

I just turned on the radio and was thinking is that Bernie I can hear and forgot his brother Larry is in the UK Green Party. Lammy talking bollox as usual, he seems to think the British Empire went to war with Nazi Germany because they didn't like the way they were treating minorities.

There might be some truth in this claim (or not). Case fatality rates in the UK over recent weeks may be compatible with infection with B 1.1.7 being associated to a marginally worse outcome, but this could equally be explained by strained ICUs, seasonality or whatnot.
1/ https://t.co/ozKVSFg5SH

— Prof Francois Balloux (@BallouxFrancois) January 22, 2021

Never mind the Balloux though.

Do I get a PS5 for grassing them up to the pigs

See you could have mentioned it to one of the local curtain-twitchers and got them to do the dirty work, nowt to do with me squire you could tell the rugger buggers

but first I'd get counsel over who gets the console

lol that is bad, but it still made me laugh

My dog growled at Laura Kuensburg on our daily walk today, can I get a ps5?

You need to claw a kuensberg for that

I’ve been training him too well. Maybe if she went near his tennis ball.

"I'll put my dog on the lead when you stop spinning propagandist lies straight from CCHQ during a G E ... ok?"

Not ocnvinced it was the dog that growled at her.

according to Private Eye the only reason LK gets so much shit from lefties is because of her gender, so perhaps hoy hoy's labradoodle is a bloody disgraceful misogynist that needs running off this message board

just throw a ball into reddit

Nick Robinson got tons of shit too, gotta love imperial feminists weaponising being criticised.

see also: Suzanne Moore

Kenneth Branagh to play U.K. Prime Minister Boris Johnson in Sky Original drama This Sceptred Isle

The five-part drama will chart the events surrounding the U.K. Prime Minister, the government, and the country in the face of the first wave of the global pandemic.

goddamn everyone involved with this project to hell, oh sorry I forgot we are already there

Maybe he'll be portrayed as a cunt

will they show his domestic violence that everyone pretends to have forgotten

who’s playing starmer? will jezza be in it too?

Will it be one of those novelty pornos like Who's Nailin' Palin or something?

Michael Winterbottom has co-wrote it, that's all you really need to know

Nobody’s forgotten it but the victims and witnesses won’t stand up the story. They’ve been approached multiple times.

So it will be one of those novelty pornos like 9 songs xp

Xp lol yeah i bet they've been approached

Untitled UK Pandemic Project (TV Series) (pre-production)

there is something quite jarring about the imdb entry for it, especially as the UK govt is still editing the untitled UK Rona death project even before they've got to the post-production stage

They'll just make it up as they go along.

Michael Winterbottom has co-wrote it, that's all you really need to know

― calzino, Saturday, 23 January 2021 18:54 (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

at least this way there's half a chance it'll be about the making of a fictional series called This Sceptred Isle about the pandemic, which would be more interesting

all the other recent pusillanimous attempts at dramatising UK politics on tv in some kind of knockabout feelgood fashion without addressing the evils of this tory govt have been so fucking execrable, but I reckon The Trip to Fascist Isle of Death with Branagh could be a fresh start!

Keith @Keir_Starmer has a message for @KetamineLovejoy pic.twitter.com/xMZ74RhwpS

— Yer Da After Too Many Drams (@Ecoclown) January 22, 2021

"who’s playing starmer?"

reckon this lad could do a job

UK Minister provokes 500 Covid cases at DVLA Swansea as symptomatic told to work, vulnerable refused home-working, Covid absences over 10 days trigger warnings & workers told turn off test-and-trace apps so phones don’t ping RESIGN ⁦@grantshapps⁩ 👎🏻 https://t.co/yURBp9eteM

— Geraint Davies (@GeraintDaviesMP) January 23, 2021

I've been waiting for the "fury" over that "explosive row" to show up anywhere on the BBC or sky news websites since last night.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/jan/23/minister-faces-fury-over-mass-covid-outbreak-at-top-government-agency

lol at this from 2015.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/nov/28/grant-shapps-profile-farce-to-tragedy

and yet...

https://amp.theguardian.com/politics/2021/jan/24/scotland-independence-referendum-nicola-sturgeon-snp-wins-may-?

Britisher tanks in Glasgow by October 🤣🤣🤣

Broon and Gove are going to save the union ...loool

English council chiefs back postponement of May local elections https://t.co/spcvIjMch2

— The Guardian (@guardian) January 24, 2021

This is bullshit, we've had elections in the US already. Should've been able to work out the logistics by now.

for local elections this should've been a piece of piss

there are a lot of logistics you’d think they’d have worked out by now but... y’know

An example we should follow.

Breaking: Chicago Teachers Union members vote to defy Chicago Public Schools' reopening plans and continue working from home tomorrow because of health and safety concerns, a source says. About 86% of CTU members voted, and 71% of those members approved the collective action

— Nader Issa (@NaderDIssa) January 24, 2021

xp seems like whatever dept signs big checks for mates has been running v smoothly they should get a performance bonus

maybe it's just me but i don't believe Tory MPs give one fuck about the wellbeing or mental health of children

nor some of the Labour MP's who have happily voted/abstained to fuck them over for the last decade but have suddenly developed a great hitherto unseen sensitivity about the state of their mental health

probably the most egregious Tory example of a *sensitive* covid hawk is Graham Brady from the 1922 committee. lol There is someone who really cares deeply about the mental health of children and the class driven educational inequalities that comes with a lockdown.

it was a clever move from the Scottish independence movement to put agent Broon on the radio babbling on about citizen's assemblies and sounding like an irrelevant desperado with nothing of substance to say other than the threat that the UK *might* become a failed state

Our research showing a pretty shocking one in ten people say they're being asked to re-apply for their jobs on worse terms and conditions: https://t.co/eesXe4JaAW

— Kate Bell (@kategobell) January 25, 2021

The people: The government have really mishandled the situation.

The government: WHY DON’T YOU JUST DIE OF OLD AGE, FATTY. https://t.co/mGj3TFrPhY

— PIP (@papa_anastasis) January 25, 2021

Lol

NEW: @BorisJohnson tells broadcast pool he is 'looking at the potential of relaxing some measures' before mid-February.

— Joe Pike (@joepike) January 25, 2021

seriously fuck off Boris