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Anybody wondering what's up with Gamestop, think of it this way....
Say you borrow 5 grapes from your friend. They're juicy, ripe, delicious. He says he wants those grapes back in a week.
A WEEK. Pish. It's like he forgot that he hasn't given back the World According to Garp VHS you loaned him last September. "Return it *whenever*", you said. But you didn't mean literally "whenever". It's a turn of phrase. How long does it take to watch a two hour movie anyway?
You're angry about his moral turpitude. True, you didn't go to his own wife's funeral when she accidentally ate a hemlock burrito, but the fuckin' Pittsburgh Pirates were playing. What did he expect.
You were only planning to hold onto the grapes and admire them from afar. But the more you look at them, and the more you think about your asshole friend, you get other ideas.
He gave you five grapes. What if one of them walked away? An accounting error! Your cat ate it. He'd never be the wiser. Come on, it's just one grape
The thought hasn't even exited your head and that grape is already in your hairy mouth. Mmm. That was delicious.
Guilt seeps in. "He's gonna know what I did", you think. "What have I done?"
Oh, but it felt so GOOD. The sweet, acidic grape's juices are intoxicating. Surely, since you've already eaten one grape.... what's one more?
That's how it always starts. You remember your stint at Riker's and how it ended. It wasn't pretty, but you were nobody's bitch. But it took something from you that you won't get back.
You're so distracted, you don't even realize you're stuffing that second grape in your piehole. It tastes even better. This must be like Eve felt when she ate that apple. You wonder what your cousin Isaac is up to.
At this point, your hackles are down. You don't even need to convince yourself to eat the third. Oh, your friend will be getting this grape back Thursday, alright. In a... different form.
A Machiavellian grin crosses your face. You're *enjoying* this depravity. It was never about the "grapes", man. It's about life. And you're fuckin' living it.
Your heart skips a beat when your friend calls you. VIDEO CALL...ON MESSENGER. You answer, thinking you can play it off cool.
He asks you how the grapes are. "How should I know?", you reply, but your voice betrays your sinful eyes. "Does he suspect?", you wonder.
He casts a suspicious glare, then reminds you that he wants those grapes back in a week.
Oh, no. FUCK HIM.
You pull the first grape into frame. Then, the second. He asks where the other three have gone.
"I'll show YOU where they've gone", you shriek. To his horror, you're shoving one in your mouth...right in front of his eyes. You're not even ashamed. You WANT him to watch!
His eyes turn into dark blue pools of misery as he devour his last remaining grape. You stare at him, defiant. Fighting back tears, your friend asks you..."was it worth it?"
It's never worth it. But 'Nam changes a person.
In conclusion, I don't have any clue about stocks or short squeezes and would advise you are better off asking someone else.
― if Spaghetti-Os had whammy bars (Neanderthal), Saturday, 30 January 2021 00:45 (five years ago)