Enough With The Cutesy Titles, People Are Dead: US Politics January 2021 pt 2

poor hulk hogan

who is Noem? somehow, scanning the other names on the list, i have a feeling they're going to be a major league asshole

oh, the SD Gov anti-masker, cool

2% of people are like "Gov Kristi Noem took a stand against masks - and I believe she should be president of the United States because of it"

then they walk into a doorway at a three-quarter angle and get stuck, bumping into it over and over until someone rotates them a bit and they slide right through, on to the next tv show

The thing is, one of those turds will be on the ballot, and when they are, they will get tens of millions of votes.

if a turd smears on the ballot, is that a hanging Chad

January 2013 polling for the 2016 GOP primary:

Marco Rubio 21%
Paul Ryan 16%
Mike Huckabee 15%
Jeb Bush 14%
Chris Christie 14%
Rand Paul 5%
Bobby Jindal 3%
Susana Martinez 2%
Rick Perry 2%
Someone else/Undecided 7%

exactly

2024 wildcards

MyPillow Guy
MAGA shaman
Tiger King
Vince McMahon
Eyepatch guy
Steve Bannon
Barron Trump
John Wick
Martin Shkreli

lol Bobby Jindal

I don't Susana Martinez, but I'm betting BIG TIME on her for 2024 because i believe in america, i believe in redemption stories, i believe in people i've never heard of, i believe in the underdog, and i believe that surely she must be the only person on any of these lists who isn't a gigantic asshole

Bill Belicheck blew his shot by refusing a medal from Trump

Tom Brady will be retired by 2024, though

Seen on the intarwebz: this has all been a long Trump play to have pictures of an inauguration with a smaller crowd than his

and then he's going to tweet pict-

fax

would love to see Trump at a FedEx Office

"now what is the phone number for Twitter so I can send this there?"

There was a film clip being circulated a couple of years ago of prominent trump family and cabinet members heads superimposed over the heads of people being rounded up by the CIA. From the Wire or something.
Is that still a total fantasy or is a real version booked for late next week?

Dorks who sign their tweets like an email (but good)

Yes, we can and we must use budget reconciliation to increase the minimum wage to at least $15 an hour with a simple majority vote in the Senate, just like Republicans did to pass massive tax breaks to the 1%.

- Incoming Majority Staff Director. Senate Budget Committee

— Warren Gunnels (@GunnelsWarren) January 16, 2021

CIA hates Trump. It's total fantasy.

Not Photoshop. (I swear I'd never heard of this Jimmy Dore fucker until December 2020 at the absolute earliest.)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Er0V9UqWMAMaC1f.jpg

why does cucker tarlson look like a fucking plastic action figure

Because that's what his viewers want him to look like.

tucker's 'confused because what you're saying is too horrific to believe' face is iconic

for years I used to think those memes were just using the same still shot of him as part of the meme until I realized they were unique shots each time and his face just...does that.

its bizarre

Yeah, he's totally Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.
https://omigods.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/I-Was-Listening-to-the-Magic-Voices.jpg

did he get rid of the bowtie simply cos Jon Stewart made fun of him for wearing one?

probably not 'simply', but mostly

what a perfectly despicable, entitled, condescending pile of shit this man is

I forget about him now and then for a couple weeks but then every time I see him face it bullets straight to the top of most punchable

HIS HIS HIS face

i feel like there's been SO MUCH of this kind of news lately:

Breaking NYT: Prosecutors in Georgia appear increasingly likely to open a criminal investigation of Trump over his attempts to overturn the results of the state's 2020 election, an inquiry into offenses that would be beyond his federal pardon power. https://t.co/SdB215f0hr

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) January 16, 2021

and my questions are:

is there a rough estimate of how many separate criminal investigations are open, formal accusations, proceedings, etc? like, 10 different ones? 50? where are we? holy shit

and is there a chance of even ONE thing sticking?

I think yes! It is impossible to keep up with them though

Lawrence O’Donnell just speculated on national television that “the future will prevail”

how it goes, generally

man idk why all these states keep harassing our innocent President

nobody with any meaningful power is gonna be on this guy's side in 5 days

their jealous because he a fucking handsome genius

his face is supposed to look like a capybara's ass, it's part of the charm

I have a very good friend who looks a little like a cross between Trump and Cruz. It’s tough.

https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.eiEDGrPtmES6Zofp_2Y5FwAAAA&pid=Api

Good evening!

I read that in your Bela Lugosi voice

me (as my senator votes to legalize stealing money directly out of my pocket): Did you hear trump fired Steve Blarbby today? He’s done. Blarbby is the one would rein him in.

— jeremy levick (@jeremylevick) January 15, 2021

Yeah, that’ll help.

White nationalist Nick Fuentes just told his followers on a video stream tonight to destroy their phones if they entered the Capitol building on January 6th.

— Zachary Petrizzo (@ZTPetrizzo) January 16, 2021

After encouraging his followers to destroy their phones, Fuentes backtracked. “I'm gonna say don't do that, for my legal sake,” he stated. pic.twitter.com/azjfvMFq81

— Zachary Petrizzo (@ZTPetrizzo) January 16, 2021

Suing Ned for whiplash. Giuliani already agreed to represent me.

wow thank god he took it back he might've gotten in some real trouble