marketing of masculinity

optional fleshlight extension

why do none of these everyday carry top tens include sunscreen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODO0zQBPI2k

the promotional video is really something
https://vimeo.com/333473257

Gotta say they have the 'tactical look' down pat - all clunky black metal with knobby knurls. Everything else about that pen is pure foolishness that would only appeal to an 11 or 12 year old boy's mentality.

it's hard to deny the appeal of putting together emergency kits for your car or bugout bags for weather emergencies, it pushes a lot of modern buttons - soothing anxiety about an uncertain future, buying stuff (probably the real heart of the exercise), affirming your identity (which as we've discussed revolves around being competent). I don't know at what point it crosses a line. even I've put together a backpack of goodies for when I go hiking, and I won't pretend it wasn't a lot of fun deciding what I needed and getting it all together.

counterpoint: it's easy for me to deny the appeal of any of that, lol

Part of competence is distinguishing what is useful and needed from fantasy-based frippery. Because I hike in the Pacific Northwest temperate rain forest, I often bring an umbrella if the weather is showery. It isn't a tactical umbrella with LED light and retractable sword point, as used by Navy Seals, though.

you're talking about actual competence, I'm talking about identity and the fantasy of competence. and on a personal note, I would love a quality umbrella with a bright LED flashlight in the handle!

nah. unless the led light were entirely separable, every time you needed to point the beam at something, you'd be stuck choosing whether to have the umbrella or the flashlight properly positioned. if the led is entirely separable you may as well just have a separate led flashlight altogether. That is cheaper and more versatile. I have a pocket-sized one I carry that comes in handy fairly often and I don't need to carry the umbrella to have it.

I'm picturing a 90-degree angle flashlight in the handle so you could use the umbrella and aim the flashlight forward at the same time

My buyout bag is just weed, Smirnoff, and cash

Gah bugout

Ive had design meetings where transcripts wouldnt necessarily read too differently to the last seven-odd posts itt

Never let a room full of people who need something brainstorm about what they need, imo.

Nobody ever seems to consider what would actually happen to a brain in a storm, tbh

Odd, that lightning storm seemed to vivify the brain of Frankenstein's monster.

what would i need in a buyout bag. Hmmmmmmm

Ive had design meetings where transcripts wouldnt necessarily read too differently to the last seven-odd posts itt

I'll invoice you via email, I need money to buy a flashlight full of mace and astronaut ice cream

https://i.imgur.com/bwMVIR3.png

I can't remember the product that was promoted in the Super Bowl ad – something about showering in the forest – but I seriously thought it was a parody until the very end.

this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDHNMqOLw_o

uh

It's a men's hygiene product that dares to admit it has nothing to offer you but a rich sense of its own comedic value.

https://64.media.tumblr.com/8809b946a88e1aa38432ecfdccceb85c/tumblr_ngc4ytwVmC1razbajo1_1280.jpg

this... seems like a sex thing.

yeah

as opposed to a gender thing, that is. though there is certainly some significant gender stuff mixed in with this sex stuff, all dumped into a dog bowl with "MAN" stenciled on the side in manly prison-esque font, the prison of dehumanizing masculine expectations etc.

i kind of want one but my partner might get the wrong idea.

Uh-oh! A rival enters the territory...

https://i.imgur.com/jb7hKWj.jpg

I thought you meant “a sex thing” in the “my mistress makes me eat out of this bowl during our sessions” sense.

that is what i meant! is there a word for sexual activity that doesn't include the "sex" part, since it's still so often bound up with gender? aside from, like, "fucking".

"this seems like a sexual activity thing"

"this seems like a fucking thing"

"this seems like a coitus thing"

or i guess in this instance "this seems like a fetish thing" could have worked, but the question still stands because i am drawing a blank

My brain was not working properly last night; I thought you meant it in some "sex vs gender" way.

It's true, a real hungry man can hold 20 ounces.

xpost oic. but this is why we need another sex word, too much confusion/overlap! Orgasmic Gratification or its mellifluous portmanteau "orgrat" is what i'm threatening to use until i find something better.

"this... seems like an orgrat thing"

why yes i am a modern day shakespeare, thank you for noticing

i thought you were a cat

*tries to figure out how to fold-up map again*

*misses free throw*

ONCE UPON A TIME, MEN ATE OUT OF THE BOWL

https://www.professorpincushion.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/ppc_catCostumeRenaissanceCollar_side_1920x1080_002-1.jpg

you don't understand, MAN is the name of my dog

lmao

man, no!
no man

Absolutely dying at the concept of tactical gummy bears but the copy makes it even funnier pic.twitter.com/FQFQSl2wrJ

— show me that gabagool (@mustachetoilet) May 25, 2021

when you're out on a mission to kill, and you need to be able to count on yr gummie bears

that is what i meant! is there a word for sexual activity that doesn't include the "sex" part, since it's still so often bound up with gender? aside from, like, "fucking".

"this seems like a sexual activity thing"

"this seems like a fucking thing"

"this seems like a coitus thing"

or i guess in this instance "this seems like a fetish thing" could have worked, but the question still stands because i am drawing a blank

― cat, Wednesday, April 14, 2021 3:26 AM (one month ago) bookmarkflaglink

Gender performance, maybe? Most (all?) of the items in this thread seem to be banking on the idea that certain men will pay a premium to not consume or do anything cursed with female associations.

xp - apparently they were anticipating a deluge of returns due to "heat shield packaging failure"

what's with all the (joke) anti-gay stuff in the comments like "Don't eat regular gummy bears like some homo!!! NO REFUNDS"? Does the world of tactical gear sales intersect with homophobia?

I'd be surprised if it didn't?

Gummy bears are fine, gummy worms might as well be tiny soft dicks.

This brand name popped into my head one day....and I looked up in TESS and it's not trademarked:

Brobiotics

should I form the worst startup ever?

guys

let's talk about GUT health.

new dannon for men is specially formulated to deliver optimal gut performance in a portable, TACTICAL yogurt capsule.

hell yeah