Free as a Dodo: UK Politics Welcomes 2021

pretty difficult to do a decent length bike ride without going seven miles from your home tbh! but that story is in the context of matt hancock supporting derbyshire police who busted two women for going for a walk five miles from their houses xp

I saw a group of youngish people (housemates presumably) walking four abreast, bad enough but this was across a fucking aisle in the supermarket

In case you’re wondering why they will get away with this

The PM has a young baby at home and a busier job than most, yet still manages to squeeze in a weekend cycle ride.

My other half is *never* going to let me hear the end of this. 🚴‍♂️🚴‍♂️🚴‍♂️

— Pippa Crerar (@PippaCrerar) January 11, 2021

Anyway the point about walking and cycling is all total bullshit as long as you have people still going out to work and not being paid to stay at home because idk communism or something

The PM has a young baby and a young girlfriend at home...

It’s not like BJ doesn’t have three huge parks within Molotov-throwing distance of home and (very reliably informed by friend consulting for Oxford-based pharma company) long Covid.

He's still looking like death warmed up, I know that for sure.

Half encouraging

lols at the implication that BJ has ever lifted a finger to help with taking care of any of his hundreds of children

xxxp is the implication that Johnson's ride in the olympic park is a kind of Chairman Mao swimming the Yangtze type stunt?

did he ride there? because my first thought was that he'd been driven there in order to ride around. one acceptable, the other not so much.

Riding 7 miles+ doesn't seem consistent with long Covid.

Google Maps reckons it's a 40 minute cycle ride from Downing St to the Olympic Park (assuming that's where he started from), although on the upside it's 'mostly flat'. So almost 2 hours of cycling, including a circuit or two of the park itself? I'd guess he was driven there. Maybe he could take the entire cabinet with him next time on a kind of team-building exercise, I'd love to see Priti Patel wobbling around the ArcelorMittal on a stabiliser-enhanced bike.

<extremely Milhouse through-the-looking-glass voice> what if... he was driven there, cycled for not long at all, but has allowed the story to leak out in such a way that it sounds like he cycled there and did loads of cycling once there. The sort-of-almost breaking the rules being the hook for why anyone would pay attention at all

I’m going to bleed out my eyes if I have to read this stupid argument again, come on, seven miles isn’t anything on a bike. Come on. This isn’t it.

i heard he rode there no-handed and pulled a monster wheelie at the lights on Kingsland Rd

I’m going to bleed out my eyes if I have to read this stupid argument again, come on, seven miles isn’t anything on a bike. Come on. This isn’t it.

The story falls apart completely under even the tiniest piece of scrutiny. Boris is clearly unable to ride a bike seven miles, or even at all. This will be one of his doubles, or possibly a local malcontent

doesn't he have a security detail escorting him everywhere? Just passing my notes on to some terrorist friends of mine.

I've said before about your grassing

while he was still mayor i was cycling into town from stoke newington and he was cycling back and we faced each other across a junction at angel and it was a great delight to be able to - very very slowly - raise two fingers at him and back down again. tight non smile in return.

Sentence commuted

I have a photo somewhere of the time he was ahead of me at the lights at Monument (back when he was mayor), with an unzipped backpack on.

You can tell nobody likes him irl when you see stuff like that

btw this was the olympic park at ~11-12 on Sunday.

https://i.imgur.com/JHmz6le.jpeg
https://i.imgur.com/eHaG1Ot.jpeg

photos taken without intending to prove anything either way, but generally it was very quiet because it was so cold! some people exercising, some families.

Chernobyl has let itself go a bit these days

not picture: freezing zombies marauding, and a death-warmed up local strong man.

mutant little match girl selling strips of human flesh and bottles of that spirit of 2012 before Avalonia failed!

They truly have a cheek calling that Ballardian nightmare a park, it should be called The Zone or something.

Lol yeah, that’s bleak as fuck

When the Spectator was on John/Doughty Street, BJ could regularly be found in the Duke of York pub on Clerkenwell Road playing table football with the cycle couriers (it was also a major place to score weed/Class As from same).

> He says he would like to see the PM doing daily press conferences.

and the problem with daily press conferences is that occasionally p patel gets to do one (today at 5). what would she have to say that requires a special press conference?

Mods please arrange for a sub-Tarkovsky at best production at the former Olympic park

( more here - https://www.boredpanda.com/abandoned-olympic-venues/ )

the horror of the "if they can't afford kids they shouldn't have them" daily mail reaction aside, the photos of these fucking food parcels seem to be doing their job. Whichever galaxy brain thought they spotted an opportunity to bung some money to their mates while appearing to cave to Marcus Rashford should be made to live off them for a month.

and today they've chosen Priti Patel to face the music. amazing.

As if anyone in the room is going to ask proper questions about this, or challenge the kind of answers Peepee likes to give about humanitarian concerns.

the joy of Patel is you almost don't need to ask a probing question. you can ask her whether she thinks it will be sunny tomorrow and she'll spin it into an answer about how we need to bring back hanging. cf Politico asking "what will you do to relax and Christmas" and her answering "i'll look back fondly on my memories of BOOTING IN THE DOOR OF IMMIGRANTS WITH THE COPS"

when does scottish election campaigning start in earnest lads

5pm today?

What with her and Gavin Williamson there aren't half some dimwits in this current cabinet.

The company that did those awful free school meals also do catering for private schools pic.twitter.com/vYrxjUCkdw

— Tom (@genericshitname) January 12, 2021

wtf kind of school has canapes

goes without saying how fucked up this but sadly I don't even find it shocking

the horror of the "if they can't afford kids they shouldn't have them" daily mail reaction aside, the photos of these fucking food parcels seem to be doing their job. Whichever galaxy brain thought they spotted an opportunity to bung some money to their mates while appearing to cave to Marcus Rashford should be made to live off them for a month.

They can just "cave" again and install some new plan that's still deeply corrupt but a little more veiledn. That's the current govt's shtick and since most things don't get found out it works pretty well tbf.

wtf kind of school has canapes

The answer is, every school should have canapes.

when I was a kid I used to think the dinner ladies at the school canteen ate all everything from the leftover bin, so they'd be eating a mixture of boiled cabbage, pink custard and cold roast potatoes.

Westminster Voting Intention:

CON: 40% (-1)
LAB: 37% (-2)
LDM: 8% (=)
SNP: 4% (-1)
GRN: 4% (=)

Via @SavantaComRes, 8-10 Jan.
Changes w/ 18-21 Dec.

— Election Maps UK (@ElectionMapsUK) January 12, 2021

You do have to wonder how sweaty that big pink head is rn.

I'm slightly confused by the 'Morrisons etc ban maskless shoppers' thing; weren't they alreay banned? Isn't that what a mask order does?

I assume this means they'll be sending all their staff with medical exemptions home too.

stop Kieth stop you're killing 'em