Blue Saturday

Having a blue Saturday, recalled this thread, great. The tl;dr version is that am currently helpless to help sister at possibly the worst time in her life, so feeling angry and sad and useless, that I am going through years of bad behaviour towards loved ones and feeling guilty and angry at myself towards that, because I can’t see them and it physically hurts (at least this is the only source I can determine for the fact I have started clenching my jaw again, and generally yr usually pandemic weltschmerz of missing everyone and normal life, blah blah blah. Happy new year.

:(

Feel free to vent, if it helps.

Fwiw staying physically put is all we can do at the moment anyway, so there's no sense in beating yourself up over it, it's beyond our control.

started typing shit. no smart answers. yr sis is doing great things gyac and i'd guess she knows that, no clapping, no bullshit.

really tired of this lockdown and angry about how it could'v been done so much less badly.

but i've never appreciated our ilxor chums more, you too pom, blood sausage, people out here in the world thsnk fuck.

it could be worse, we could be locked into a capitalist death cult.

fuck's sake we'll get thru and what will survive of us is lurve.

also is slack knackered?

blue is the stoopidest colour

Amen to that, NV. If it's any comfort, my anger over how poorly the pandemic has been managed here in Quebec also grows by the hour, even though our government has yet to reach BoJo levels of yo-yo incompetence and lethal cynicism. If you discount the rest of Canada, which has done a much better job so far, our provincial figures are only slightly behind France's.

sad lol @ “you too pom” i love pom and you all too

important message

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L397TWLwrUU

lol gyac, yours is a twisted mind.

<3

i am not in such a bad way that i didn’t instinctively think “fuck off”, pom, especially as that was genuinely meant! an ilx fave for sure

Sorry, truly not meaning to be insulting, I’m not feeling very agape.

No worries, like you said, it's a sign that you're holding up.

nobody expected the scampish inquiaition

oh ffs

just fp me

i mean fp "candyman" first but then fp me

For some reason (lol apart from all of the obvious reasons) getting through the year end barrier and then realising Jesus, this has been going on for 10 months has hit me harder than I think the year anniversary will.

Much love to you and your excellent sister gyac - I mean I don't know her but she shines in every word you've said about her.

Calm down Andrew, surely life in Edinburgh isn’t that bad.

Thank you ❤️

Love to you gyac ❤️ In fact, I love all of you. You too Pom ;)

You too, LBI. :)

Fuck, it’s bad though isn’t it

Dunno whether to vent in here or mostly apolitical or ukpol or usLOL or the_slack or just shut my debbie downer mouth but anyway thinking of y’all you lot and hope you are finding ways to cope (I am doing a self care by not caring for myself at all) & stave off the blues. Much love, and that goes for all of you, plus pom

I mentioned to a beloved ilxor earlier (plus pom) the idea some brane genius hat of Cambridge fap and i think that’s still a great idea whenever. Maybe I could bring you a new Christmas card?!

FAPs anywhere and everywhere when it's possible IMO

love to anyone struggling or not struggling atm. it's fucking shit and never ends. I'm off the booze at the moment so can't even drown my sorrows. tbh if I didn't have weed I don't think I could manage it.

Much love to you Colonel, we will meet at some stage and in the meantime please cuddle lovely Dottie and her happy tail ❤️ Just awful shit the whole time.

Monocle dropping out at it taking 4 hours to get from Edinburgh to Peterborough, and a further hour to get from there to Cambridge?

Just stay overnight, fool, almost everyone will be travelling from somewhere anyway. It will surely be worth it to meet some of us irl you haven’t met before? You too, pom.

Yeah definitely up for FAPs wherever once we come out the other side. I have been to hastings once but didn't get a chance to sample the pubs. gyac I have still not ruled out the first card arriving!

I should be back in the UK some time in May – I don't know exactly for how long but, worst comes to worst, I'll be back again after that. Either way, a Cambridge FAP is a lovely prospect and I do want to meet you all in meatspace (plus gyac).

Hang in there, Colonel. It's not quite in the spirit of a Blue Saturday, but I'm doing dry January at the moment and so far it has been a (mild) boon to my morale.

No no I'll definitely be at the FAP, just a bit o_O that 'the direct route' isn't significantly quicker than going in to King's Cross and out again.

I never do dry january or new year's resolutions so last year I made a point of going to the pub on Jan 1 but after that I didn't drink for the first quarter of the year - until lockdown basically

(plus gyac).

fwiw I am not doing Dry January. I just drank way too much over xmas/new year and felt like I was going to have kidney failure. they only stopped hurting yesterday after being sober for a week. it may end up being Dry January anyway although I drank all day on the 1st so have already broken it tbf

Oh I also drank on the 1st but fuck that, let's not make it more onerous for ourselves than it already is.

I am pro drinking on the 1st, i) it is a good day to drink ii) it makes not drinking in the rest of jan/the year less of A Thing

I have had the throbbing kidney feeling too many times, sometimes I tell myself it's just backache but yeah giving it a rest a good idea

Look I worded it weird earlier cos pom is a slack denier also I was talking to gyac

You bunch of cunts

I am deliriously happy this week and I feel almost guilty about that but you know I love you all

Cunts

*and pom too

xp right back at ya, big man

gyac I hate you so much right now

_ _ u t_ _ p_m

ffs zing

I am not looking forward to having to leave the house today, but once again we are missing or almost out of lots of groceries (plus missing everyone I didn’t see on the sssooomm)

I had enough food today, I need to go tomorrow and I need to do laundry and other delayed chores

You too, pom

Up for Cambridge FAP too. Good thought in dark times.

Lawks a lawd a lads
Save me from the comedown
The universe is infinitely blue
Bluetiful

Drink water before bed, lad

^^^

Well yeah sure but

I’ll post Keir to the thread unless you get up and get some right now

Look I've drunk loads of fluid today and it's not helping