And Sleepy Joe Will Get The Credit: US Politics January 2021

The Crisis Actors Union confirms they had a major casting call for heavyset bearded men with knuckle tattoos.

I’d like to offer my guilt-assuaging services to any ilxors wishing to be unburdened of a $2K check. DM me, my children thank you.

their movement wld do much better to make their dead into martyrs but that would get in the way of ass covering

Sigh I meant the dead
some of whom are dads

1) Check the photo caption

2) realize that this paper from East Texas is an accurate representation of how yesterday will be presented to 90% of American students 30 years from now https://t.co/ZocvEkA0Xq

— Evan McGarvey (@evanmcgarvey) January 8, 2021

theyre also so used to making outlandish shit up its just what they do at this point xp

Trump really went from Andrew Johnson-bad to James Buchanan-bad this week

Hear hear ( over here! )

That was for anyone who doesn’t want their check(s)

My outlet doesn't subscribe to AP for photo content but ... I wonder if they're even allowed to alter the caption when using their photo?

I’d like to offer my guilt-assuaging services to any ilxors wishing to be unburdened of a $2K check. DM me, my children thank you.

NEW: Feds charge Nick Ochs of the Proud Boys. It didn’t take much investigative work. pic.twitter.com/xVvHSKajIP
— Ryan J. Reilly (@ryanjreilly) January 8, 2021

― Karl Malone, Friday, January 8, 2021 12:35 PM (twenty-five minutes ago)

Kind of amazing to be a white supremacist in... Honolulu. Surprised some locals haven't taken care of this idiot.

lol such babies

David Perdue concedes race. “Although we won the general election, we came up just short of Georgia’s 50% rule, and now I want to congratulate the Democratic Party and my opponent for this runoff win.” Loeffler and Perdue both have conceded.

— Manu Raju (@mkraju) January 8, 2021

He didn't say "Democrat Party" so there's a concession.

damn its getting serious now

OLIVE GARDEN IS OUT HERE REVOKING PASTA PASSES pic.twitter.com/rl1YZAwiOH

— ULTRA (@ULTRASLUT) January 8, 2021

hahaha

also I am dying at "viscous attack" in that PR

Kind of amazing to be a white supremacist in... Honolulu. Surprised some locals haven't taken care of this idiot.

― Jersey Al (Albert R. Broccoli), Friday, January 8, 2021 1:02 PM (three minutes ago)

Astute wife reminded me that multiple large military presence (large swaths conscripted from mostly rural backward America) lives 10-30 minutes outside of town.

lmao I was just coming here with the Olive Garden tweet

btw Hoos is collecting all of these capitalist recuperation press releases, like the ones from Axe and Coca-Cola

thx and a tip of the hat to Evan McGarvey for the totally useless hot take.

So Hannity had a lifetime pasta pass, but no longer?

Viscous attack is a symptom of covid.

They took away a man's lifetime pasta pass, when will this woke mob be stopped!

Viscous Attack = Mozzarella Meltdown

Hawley gonna whine about how Orwellian it is that he can't get unlimited bread sticks anymore.

Surprised Hannity could stomach all those leftovers.

sorry but the pasta pass thing is fake :(

But it could have been true, which is close enough for me.

follow the typos

You know Trump is seeing that in his (aptly named) feed right now and is planning to go to Olive Garden with the deepest pockets he can find, and I don't mean his money.

look if they can make up their own facts, so can we

I hereby declare this to be 100% genuine, no take-backs

sorry Sean

otm

Yeah, it's real.

"but it could have been true" has been an auto response to alternative fact accusations for the last 4 years

In the 'wow such bravery' section

BREAKING: Twitter is taking dramatic action on remaining QAnon accounts for breaking their "Coordinated Harmful Activity" rules, some of whom heavily promoted Wednesday's storming of the Capitol.

Mike Flynn, Sidney Powell, 8kun's Ron Watkins banned.

Twitter's statement below: pic.twitter.com/gINAtowQSb

— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__) January 8, 2021

Viscous
you hit me with some flour

NBC News obtained a draft of the article of impeachment against Trump, just read on @MSNBC.

It's one article: "ARTICLE I: INCITEMENT OF INSURRECTION."

— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) January 8, 2021

Nicole Wallace read the text a few mins ago.

what if Olive Garden sponsored the impeachment?

^^ February thread title

what if Olive Garden sponsored the impeachment?

The pasta-bilities are endless.

Impeachment Articles and Pasta Bowls

"Try our new bottomless imPEACH mimosas!"

pastagate

Your honor.. May I approach the salad bar?

The guy* who filmed the (NSFW obvs) video hosted on WAPO of Ashli Babbit getting shot should be partially held responsible for her death. In the video you hear him talking the Lobby guards into leaving their post in front of the doors and then once they leave he starts encouraging the insurrectors/terrorists to break down the doors!

(*described in WAPO as John Sullivan, a liberal activist who shoots video at a range of protests and who filmed the footage on Wednesday)

It's absolutely psychotic... he feigns this empathetic nature with the guards ("Bro, there are more people coming up here and we don't want you guys to get hurt) and then as soon as they leave he immediately pivots to "All right guys, now have at it!"

my paraphrases, I didn't want to rewatch.

thats fucked i only saw a shorter clip

(can't wait for the "but that's documentary film making!" takes)