And Sleepy Joe Will Get The Credit: US Politics January 2021

Does it matter?

XP Also: new donations of $$$ have allowed him to switch back from Sweet'n'Low to Cocaine.

The libertarian asshole CEO of Whole Foods says you don’t need healthcare you just need to eat Whole365 Organic.

Yes! That will cure your hernia, or sickle cell anemia, or congenital heart defect as quick as you can say "Jack Robinson" or "pile of bullshit"!

You know what this thread is, right?
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek)

An enema?

a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enema

reading it does take a lot out of me

lotsa butt stuff up in here today

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DDB-9CaUQAAx8OU.jpg

Mike Pence: "Yo, fuck this."

NEW: Iowa Sen. Charles E. Grassley, the Senate president pro tempore, says he and not Vice President Mike Pence will preside over the certification of Electoral College votes, since "we don't expect him to be there."

— Roll Call (@rollcall) January 5, 2021

That should be occasion for a lively tweet or two.

Wheeee!

profiles in courage

A Grassley spokesman clarifies that the senator does not "have any indication Pence won't be present." Grassley, he said, was just trying to explain that at president pro tempore of the Senate, he would fill the chair if Pence does not show or steps out at points for a break https://t.co/iS8Wb7Yfpy

— Nicholas Fandos (@npfandos) January 5, 2021

"Goin' out for a smoke, Chuck. BRB."

of all the recent billionaires to spew sewage in the press recently, WF guy seems like he’d be the easiest to parody in Minecraft

“who needs a private stable of militarized robot dogs when I have my blue-green algae and blood spinning regiment every Thursday??”

so Grassley first says he's doing it and Pence won't be there, then says Pence should do it cos he'll be there but he'll do it if he doesn't show?

These idiots have all backed themselves into the corner of either going through the futile motions of breaking the law/violating the Constitution or being eaten alive by their Q-stituency and their god emperor. Best of luck to ya, fuckos.

Jesus christ, life is so goddamn stupid rn.

the Mr Blonde strategem

He's either alive
or he's dead
or the cops got him
or they don't

Truly we're in the "Tanya Roberts is dead/alive/dead" days of the transition.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/58e1e99107cb546c78bb2904063d0e27/tumblr_o1o7qqdglE1u7gt7ro1_400.gif

Would have been funny if instead of Rambo the morons pasted Trump's head on the Beastmaster.

How it started:
https://thestudioexec.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/marc-singer-beastmaster.jpg

How it ended up:

https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2015/12/10/08/Donald-trump-eagle.PNG

I'm curious what the next Trumper fantasy becomes after Jan. 6. Probably something like, "On Inauguration Day, when Joe Biden fraudulently tries to take the oath of office, the Constitution will turn into a living sword of fire and decapitate him and Kamala Harris and will then knight Donald Trump as Eternal President."

I somehow (!) managed to avoid any coverage of his Georgia speech last night. Anything of note?

Not really. https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/01/its-still-all-about-trump/617551/

no farts

No click.

No idea if it will work but this is the closing pitch they’ve been doing for the past two days and it seems good electoral politics to me?

GA Senate candidate Jon @Ossoff: "When we win both of these Senate races, we will pass $2,000 stimulus checks immediately ... I spoke with the president-elect about that personally yesterday." pic.twitter.com/KZgDBkWTeo

— The Recount (@therecount) January 5, 2021

Hell yeah. When in doubt, promise cash. The GOP can't even be too outraged about it since Trump endorsed it.

lol, the GOP can be outraged about having to put on shoes

Some of my favorite political insight ever came from a Russian construction worker I talked to like 25 years ago, when Vladimir Zhirinovsky was at his peak. I asked the guy, what's the deal with Zhirinovsky? He said, "Zhirinovsky goes to rallies and he shouts, 'Do you want vodka?' And people shout, 'We want vodka!' And he shouts, 'I give you vodka! Do you want sausages?' 'We want sausages!' 'I give you sausages!'"

Whatever else you promise, gotta include the vodka and sausages.

Have they got the Rapture booked yet?

I thought they broke up after that 2011 album

No, but the GOP has cornered the market on Ratpure.
xp dammit

Yeah yeah yeah, bunch of Liars going on about the Rapture !!!

i just love to see democrats actually promising concrete benefits in plain terms in a campaign pitch

otmfm

heaven forbid they serve .. the public .. for a change. not really an "insight" imo, lol.

There are a lot of ways to serve the public. But direct payments (of cash or vodka) translate a lot more easily than less immediate benefits. I think Democrats in the post-Reagan era have been sort of scared off of those kinds of appeals because of being attacked as socialist or, even worse, running up "the deficit." They may finally be figuring out that voters do not give one shit about the deficit.

grover norquist is about to get his cold, sweet revenge, just you wait!

yep they really need to clearly and consistently put the lie to this idea that managing the US economy is in any way similar to managing your family's budget.

There are a lot of ways to serve the public. But direct payments (of cash or vodka) translate a lot more easily than less immediate benefits. I think Democrats in the post-Reagan era have been sort of scared off of those kinds of appeals because of being attacked as socialist or, even worse, running up "the deficit." They may finally be figuring out that voters do not give one shit about the deficit.

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Tuesday, January 5, 2021 11:29 AM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

otm, it's just heartening (despite all the problems they have) to see the conversation re-framed again as the government being something that exists to provide things to people

call them Biden Bux and put his signature on the checks, that's what real leaders do

anyone else a nervous wreck? i just want this damn election to be over (and won)

nah, I've pretty much resigned myself to the idea that at least one if not both Republicans will keep their seats and am preparing myself mentally for that outcome

Nov. 3 was two months ago.

yep they really need to clearly and consistently put the lie to this idea that managing the US economy is in any way similar to managing your family's budget.

family budgets include huge amounts of debt like car payments and mortgage payments, which take decades to pay back, sometimes at extortionate interest rates, all of which is considered completely normal and in fact almost required for access to middle class society, so actually family budgets are a pretty good metaphor!

I'm not nervous because I don't expect these two to win.