TS: Marc Bulger -VS- Kurt Warner

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worse than that, mr. popshots ... BROWNING NAGLE!

cringe in FEAR at the very mention of the name!

― Tad (llamasfur), Monday, 18 November 2002 18:34 (twenty-three years ago)

I've always heard rumors of Kordell Stewart being gay.

― Yancey (ystrickler), Monday, 18 November 2002 18:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Sandra Bullock is a man, James. She has an adam's apple.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 18 November 2002 18:56 (twenty-three years ago)

Warner fell prey to the Chunky's curse (watch out Philadelphia!)

wow, James

― felicity (felicity), Monday, 18 November 2002 19:00 (twenty-three years ago)

*backs away from the bowl of Baked Potato soup*

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 18 November 2002 20:07 (twenty-three years ago)

You should back away from that soup regardless of mojo. Evil!

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 18 November 2002 20:56 (twenty-three years ago)

9ers the most evil team in the NFL -- have we forgotten Amurka's Team? Seriously, putting up velvet ropes around the huddle makes people hate your guts or something.

― Leee, Monday, 18 November 2002 22:10 (twenty-three years ago)

amurka's team (a/k/a) the cowboys don't bug me (though they're in the same division as the Giants). at least when they won Super Bowls, they had great teams and won 'em fair and square. they don't rely on chickenshit-gimmick offensive schemes (cough! WEST COAST OFFENSE!) like the 49ers. is it any accident that the 49ers haven't won shit since 1994 because so many other teams now run a West Coast Offense, which means that more teams now defend against it properly?

that, and at least the Cowboys (and Jerry Jones) are upfront about being assholes. they aren't hypocrites like the 49ers organization.

― Tad (llamasfur), Monday, 18 November 2002 22:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, but they're still the Cowboys.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 18 November 2002 22:30 (twenty-three years ago)

I see by your outfit that you are a cowboy...

― Yancey (ystrickler), Monday, 18 November 2002 22:37 (twenty-three years ago)

You know what the worst NFL name is? The Texans. I mean, what the fuck is that bullshit? It's as bad as The Cardinals. They're just not fear inspiring, awesome sporting names.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 18 November 2002 22:54 (twenty-three years ago)

If NFL games were to be played by the team's respective mascot, who would be the champ? I say that it's got to be either the Giants or the Titans. Worst team: the Cardinals.

― Yancey (ystrickler), Monday, 18 November 2002 22:58 (twenty-three years ago)

You don't even know how many times I've had that discussion, and we also come up with the answer of the Giants or the Titans. When it comes down to it, a Giant and a Titan could really beat pretty much anything; hence movies like "Clash of the Titans". The Cardinals would definitely lose, UNLESS they were playing the Browns cos I can't even figure out what the fuck a Brown is meant to be.

Now, the thing is, who would win Giants versus Titans? I'm thinking Titans cos aren't they meant to have god powers? On the other hand, no one has said just how big these so-called Giants are meant to be.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 18 November 2002 23:04 (twenty-three years ago)

In the NBA the Wizards would totally dominate. They'd be casting spells and shit!!!

― Yancey (ystrickler), Monday, 18 November 2002 23:14 (twenty-three years ago)

And, actually, I think the Cardinals could beat the Dolphins. I mean, putting aside the fact that a Cardinal couldn't hold the football, how could the Dolphins even move? They'd die!

― Yancey (ystrickler), Monday, 18 November 2002 23:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Dude, I never even thought of that. Dolphins would be excellent at water polo though.

The Packers and the Steelers and the Bills aren't too impressive if you think about it either. THey're just dudes, yo. A Bear or a Lion could totally fuck them up.

Buccaneers vs. Pirates: fite! (ignore the obvious fact that they're playing two different sports for sake of discussion)

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 02:25 (twenty-three years ago)

The Packers and the Steelers and the Bills aren't too impressive if you think about it either. THey're just dudes, yo. A Bear or a Lion could totally fuck them up.

Or a tiger. Or a Devil.

Which reminds me -- if hockey is the most violent of the pro sports, why do they have the wussiest names? Like there'd be any contest between a Bear and a Ranger.

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 02:41 (twenty-three years ago)

now pittsburgh can chant for charlie batch to come in for kordell.

― keith (keithmcl), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 02:46 (twenty-three years ago)

Come on, Forest Rangers are pretty hardcore. Only THEY can prevent forest fires.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 02:57 (twenty-three years ago)

but they won't be putting out any forest fires if there's a bear chasing them. no ranger is so hardcore that he won't run like hell if a bear's coming after him.

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 03:22 (twenty-three years ago)

What about if Steven Seagal was a ranger? He'd fuck that bear up.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 03:32 (twenty-three years ago)

No way, Steven Seagal's an enviromentalist.

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 03:46 (twenty-three years ago)

What if the bear was hurting the environment?

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 03:47 (twenty-three years ago)

bears love to dump barrels full o' toxic waste in the forest when no-one's looking, you know

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 03:51 (twenty-three years ago)

I seen that with my own two eyes, foo'. They come all over to Central Park and all that, and they like set the flowery bushes on fire and stuff. THen they raid the penguin cage and eat them. They're horrible, bears should be eradicated.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 03:53 (twenty-three years ago)

even so, are they more evil than cows? cows are the real bad-ass motherfuckers of the animal world.

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 03:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Cows are MAD crazy, yo. Look into their eyes. They're so fucked up. You can feel the rage, it's palpable, it's oozing from all their pores.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 04:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Quarterbacks are timely! The best part of the article is that it lets me know that Jeff Hostetler and Steve Beuerlein are still playing, I mean what the hell?

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 November 2002 22:55 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm friends with Jeff Hostetler's cousin, who used to be in the band SMEGMA, who are now working with Richard Meltzer apparently.

― Kris (aqueduct), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 00:13 (twenty-three years ago)

My mom back in Arizona just emailed me to let me know my true love Jake might be getting let go at end of season, by the way...Anyway, isn't Hostetler like 50 years old by now? I mean, he was QB when the Giants won back against the Bills, and he wasn't a rookie then.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 02:27 (twenty-three years ago)

I do not tremble in the presence of real actual cardinals, but the official logo Cardinal on the team helmet is pretty darned mean looking. But I'm sure it will be replaced with a ridiculous robo-cardinal soon enough.

― Aaron A., Wednesday, 20 November 2002 02:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Robo-cardinals would be pretty scary though.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 02:45 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought so too, but what I've seen of Spiderman indicates that making anything 'ro' diminishes its scariness.

― James Blount (James Blount), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 05:02 (twenty-three years ago)

at least when they won Super Bowls, they had great teams and won 'em fair and square. they don't rely on chickenshit-gimmick offensive schemes (cough! WEST COAST OFFENSE!) like the 49ers.

Fair and square? This is sports we're talking here. And why is the West Coast offense gimmicky when, say, "smashmouth" ball isn't?

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 06:06 (twenty-three years ago)

And why is the West Coast offense gimmicky when, say, "smashmouth" ball isn't?

Watching defensive linemen fight offensive linemen to open space for the backs (aka "smashmouth") = good football.

Watching weak-armed quarterbacks throw dinky two-yard slants and watching receivers eat up garbage yards and thereby boosting their stats (aka "West Coast offense") = a dumbed-down abomination of football. and boring as fuck to watch.

I give Bill Walsh credit for three things and three things only: (a) taking advantage of the rule changes in the late seventies/early eighties, that made West Coast offenses more viable; (b) knowing what he had, talentwise, and making the most of it; and (c) picking Joe Montana and building the offense around what he could do, especially since Montana never "technically" was the best QB of his times (which ties in with point b).

― Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 06:59 (twenty-three years ago)

I have this football card somewhere, or my mom has it, this Montana card. It reversed his yards/touchdowns. So for career yardage, he had like 3,000 or something - but 30,000 touchdowns! How can you say he wasn't the best QB of his time? 30,000!

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 November 2002 14:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Priest Holmes is set to score half that this year.

― James Blount (James Blount), Thursday, 21 November 2002 04:59 (twenty-three years ago)

oh don't get me wrong -- i'm not saying that Joe Montana sucked, or that he wasn't a great quarterback. but facts are facts -- he didn't have the strongest arm, was respectable (but not great) in going long to receivers (as opposed to doing the West Coast-style "long handoffs" to Craig or Rice). in either regard, John Elway and Dan Marino (to name just two contemporaries) were both better than Montana. i don't even think it's useful to say that there was a "greatest quarterback ever," considering how much the game has changed. was Montana really "greater" than, say, Terry Bradshaw? Bart Starr? Roger Staubach? or even Troy Aikman or Bret Favre?

that said, i do think Montana was a great one ... all those Super Bowl rings on his finger weren't a fluke.

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 21 November 2002 07:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Hell yeah Roger Staubach!

― Go Navy! (James Blount), Thursday, 21 November 2002 07:30 (twenty-three years ago)

I think John Elway is the greatest quarterback ever. I mean, look at those TEETH. How can you argue?

Though Tan Marino's fantastic orange color is pretty good.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 21 November 2002 17:21 (twenty-three years ago)

I remember seeing a thing on Elway on ESPN once, and just the footage of him playing in high school was awe-inspiring.

― James Blount, Thursday, 21 November 2002 20:25 (twenty-three years ago)

elway's kids have horseteeth too.

― keith (keithmcl), Friday, 22 November 2002 02:24 (twenty-three years ago)

warner returns, they lose to danny wuerffel!

― keith (keithmcl), Sunday, 24 November 2002 22:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Martz is an idiot.

― James Blount (James Blount), Monday, 25 November 2002 05:29 (twenty-three years ago)

twenty-two years pass...

Warner tried to catch on with the Canadian Football League or NFL Europe, but those teams weren’t interested, either. So he worked at the Hy-Vee in Cedar Falls, earning $5.50 per hour as he continued to pursue his quixotic goal.
Warner crashed on a cot at Brenda’s parents’ house and watched the kids during the day while working nights. He also spent three hours per day working on his passing skills at his former college and lifting weights, but understandably he began to wonder whether he was just “prolonging the inevitable.”
Still, the grocery shelves wound up providing a surprising source of inspiration. One night when stocking the cereal aisle, he noticed a Wheaties box with Miami Dolphins quarterback Dan Marino, a future Hall of Famer, on the front.
“Once on the shelves, it seemed that Dan ‘The Man’s’ eyes followed me like one of those creepy paintings in a horror movie as I walked back and forth throughout the night,” Warner recalled in his own Hall of Fame induction speech in 2017. “Every time I looked at the box, Dan seemed to be asking, ‘Are you going to spend your life stocking someone else’s cereal boxes, or are you going to step out and make sure someone else is stocking yours?’”

― z_tbd, Monday, 3 February 2025 03:06 (one year ago)

i want to know if dan marino thinks that is a question he would ask. and btw of course we want someone else stocking our cereal boxes. we want them to be fully stocked with a variety of our favorite materials, at least 2 deep and preferably 5 to 7 boxes deep, faced properly and with crisp edges. and we want that stocking to be done before we even arrive, so we don't have to see it done. - dan marino

― z_tbd, Monday, 3 February 2025 03:08 (one year ago)

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