I would EXCELSIOR, but I haven't got a ZING to LOL

ie- it's definitely a city where one can eat at one of the better restaurants in the US and then go buy heroin off some dude in a trap house two blocks away.

that must do wonders for its walkability score!

Ideally we'd get an idea as to whether the heroin was also decent tbh

Artisanal, farm-to-table, organic heroin

my neighbor gets her heroin delivered. not contactless delivery though.

I opt for pick-up, at the local Subway

this all feels a bit too much like a reverse foxworthy

"If you carry two boxes of Narcan marked 'A.M.' and 'P.M.' in your pickup truck, then you might possibly be..."

I've been thinking about that silby line for the last two days

Make sure to cite me if you write a thinkpiece based on it.

maybe man alive is just hungry

or maybe I'm jonesing

Keeping up with the jonesings rly

Isn’t that Jones & Co, the fusion restaurant near the old dockyards?

Gop Will Eat Itself.

― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Sunday, November 22, 2020 9:20 PM bookmarkflaglink

GOP Will Eat Itself Cure For Hannity

Just want to point out I posted that particular play on words three years ago but I will give Trayce the win because she's not the one who everyone has killfiled.

okay imago, I mean Old Lunch

lol

TBH I did think when I posted it "I'm preeety sure someone's said this before? eh oh well"

Now we've got mink zombies to deal with.

― ILXceptionalism (Tom D.), Thursday, November 26, 2020 4:27 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

i believe you’ll find they prefer the term “nosfurrati”

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, November 26, 2020 4:30 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

(xp) Nosferretu surely?

― ILXceptionalism (Tom D.), Thursday, November 26, 2020 4:38 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

well if you’re using the singular

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand)

#onethread
#oneheart
- Jacob Marley

― velcro-magnon (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, December 1, 2020 12:49 PM (thirty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Jah Humbug!

― You will notice a small sink where your sofa once was. (Old Lunch), Tuesday, December 1, 2020 12:52 PM (thirty-two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

hahahaha a+

will need sarahell to confirm if marley's ghost ever said Humbug in the source material before i lol

VAR

when I played Marley's ghost in a middle school production of ACC, I mostly shrieked wordlessly at him or wailed, you could say

Imagine a Linda Perry/Steve Tyler screech duet

― DJP, Wednesday, December 2, 2020 9:18 AM bookmarkflaglink

i love that this poll is on ile

― mellon collie and the infinite bradness (BradNelson), Wednesday, December 2, 2020 9:20 AM bookmarkflaglink

Finally, a Tyler Perry that white people can understand.

― pplains, Wednesday, December 2, 2020 10:00 AM bookmarkflaglink

Ha. I once used "Tyler/Perry's 'Dude (Looks Like a Lady)'" as a display name -- thinking of Joe Perry in that case.

I was getting ready to post about how I was tired of 95% of excelsiors being puns/wordplay, but Jacob Marley - Jah Humbug is ace.

aren't jokes inherently wordplay to some degree

sometimes it's just being really fucking mean to someone

those are called "pranks bro"

World cup wind-ups

aren't jokes inherently wordplay to some degree

i had a very serious discussion about comedy with my neighbor and best friend down the street, when i was 6 or 7. back in the days when it made a lot of sense that your best friend just happened to live next to you.

he was always telling "jokes", and would ask me to tell "jokes". jokes as in "a 5-year-old walks into a bar..." etc etc. i told him (this part is serious, i remember it) that the kind of jokes i liked better were like -- i didn't understand "situational" or "physical" -- someone slipping on a banana peel

and in a way i still feel like that

would definitely support more EXCELSIORS featuring people falling over

or penguins

we need a bit more sophistication like people falling over penguins

or people stumbling over tricky passages in penguin classics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuhMtBHc5Z0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63rcdLeXiU8

It's a pity lex checked out before he saw the real potential of ilx comedy

Last president to ok a guillotining iirc so

― spruce springclean (darraghmac), Wednesday, December 2, 2020 2:26 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

more men shd be called valery

― mark s, Wednesday, December 2, 2020 2:26 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

A lot of them are in Russia.

― ILXceptionalism (Tom D.), Wednesday, December 2, 2020 2:28 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Most humane method of execution imho

― facebook post with 12 'likes' does not count as peer-reviewed research (Matt #2), Wednesday, December 2, 2020 2:31 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Living in Russia?

― discogs marketplace of ideas (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, December 2, 2020 2:32 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

naw

Made me lol, sorry.

lolzhenitsyn

I would like to withdraw my nomination from the Excelsioscars, appreciated as it is, it's got the rhythm of a good joke but doesn't actually make any sense.

the tabes lol is the tabes lol

I will say this for Armond, he’s one of the few film critics my kids can name becz his reviews get trolled so much on social media.

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Thursday, December 3, 2020 1:47 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

My kids have actually asked me, “What’s the deal with Armond White,” which is one of those parenting questions you’re never really ready for.

― a man often referred to in the news media as the Duke of Saxony (tipsy mothra), Thursday, December 3, 2020 1:48 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

you haven't had the talk yet?

― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, December 3, 2020 3:49 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

"When a man hates a critic very much ..."

Are you playing games here? Cabinet level officials are nominated by the president, and are subject to senate confirmation. But the senate can't appoint anyone. Only the president can.

― Respectfully Yours, (Aimless), Wednesday, December 9, 2020 2:09 PM (twenty-seven minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Sorry, yes, games. I am sometimes triggered by your relentless pedandtry.

― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, December 9, 2020 2:13 PM (twenty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

it's pedantry

― rob, Wednesday, December 9, 2020 2:17 PM (twenty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

I knew what it would be before I even clicked. I approve (of pedantry in general).