GET OUT: US politics November 2020

i am about to go outside like the guy who plays Slayer shirtless while carrying an American flag out in a hurricane.

except there is no hurricane

the hurricane has been fired

fuck you hurricane

FUCK YOU hurricane

really want someone to rewrite new lyrics to Prince's "Get Off" right now

I clicked teh press conference link and when it connected Giulliani was standing at a podium.
So is that what they were saying.

Not swelling the numbers of the daywalkers to help suck the blood out of the willing populace?

What the f happened, how much mail voting is sitting in bags undelivered still.
Would Texas change if it had a recount?

Couldn't somebody help make mock lam soup out of turtles?
How bad a swell of elephant dung will be the legacy of teh last 4 years.

Are counts still going ahead now that there is a human president.

BREAKING: Joe Biden wins Nevada. #APracecall at 9:13 a.m. PST. #Election2020 https://t.co/lGfinjTqT4

— AP Politics (@AP_Politics) November 7, 2020

"Oh, my goodness! All the networks! Wowwwwwwwwwwwww!"

enjoy joy everyone

(not sarcasm)

It's sunny, 70, and everybody I pass is ecstatic.

just gathered on corners cheering.

Four Seasons Total Landscaping just the absolute pinnacle of bathos

love to you all
this is a good day
we deserve a little peace

fuck donald trump forever

i just realized he will never have a happy or content day for the rest of his life

Scene report: Safdie Bros. are making their next film:

NYC vibe: in the East Villge an old man on a motorized scooter just rolled by honking his horn and he said into his phone "I got a gram of coke and a condom, I'll be there in 15"

— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) November 7, 2020

My dad is the only one in close family who wasn't rabidly antitrump from the jump. We're pretty sure he's voted republican on occasion. But mom says even he his ecstatic over the news, and a lil weepy. What finally really turned him from disliking Trump to full on loathing was reading Mary Trump's book.

I got a gram of coke and a condom, I'll be there in 15

That's one for the "people who have figured out how to live" thread right there

It’s not official until Brietbart calls it

high 5s all!

saw a guy blowing a shofar in grand army plaza.

shana tovah america

Congrats guys!

Now let’s see if Biden un-shithole America.

van jones crying made me cry

think if lj had not wished good luck on the usa, where would we be then

like some other lurkers, I'd like to let you guys know that each month's thread is the spine of my information gathering re: national and world affairs …I do not feel confident that I have much to add of any note in each thread, but in particular feel like Aimless has rather a lot of insight that I"d like to acknowledge.

My daughter was born more or less mid-point between election day '16 and inauguration. Since that time, she has had no knowledge of President Diarrhea, and it is my second most fervent hope that by the time of her fourth birthday in two months, I will know that any knowledge she will have of him and his hideous legacy will occur in the past tense.

My most fervent hope is that my second child, who will be born this Thursday, will enter a world in which his defeat is definitive.

missed the Van Jones, but it was his "whitelash" statement that gave me the only feelings of hope in a dark night in 2016, because he was the first to call it what it was. happy for him.

I'll be celebrating my birthday a day early this year!

I’ve arrived at Four Seasons Landscaping. It’s next to an adult book store called Fantasy Island. pic.twitter.com/hMy9JP8X5R

— Richard Hall (@_RichardHall) November 7, 2020

Well done America.
Fuck Trump and forever, I wanna see him dragged from the WH, kicking and screaming like a big man-baby.

my 40th birthday is next week and I felt somber because I wasn't sure if I'd feel like celebrating. for the first time this year, I do.

Fuck Mike Pence too, by the way.

I just wish I knew the appropriate amount to celebrate, there is so much conflicting information (not counting from trump supporters)

fuck all the GOP

Happy early birthday Neanderthal

...And stay out! pic.twitter.com/52pGN9tSFt

— John Mulaney (@mulaney) November 7, 2020

Trump's statement (which has been blackballed in MSM but posting here so that we can remember him for being the petulant whining asshole that he is):

We all know why Joe Biden is rushing to falsely pose as the winner, and why his media allies are trying so hard to help him: they don’t want the truth to be exposed. The simple fact is this election is far from over. Joe Biden has not been certified as the winner of any states, let alone any of the highly contested states headed for mandatory recounts, or states where our campaign has valid and legitimate legal challenges that could determine the ultimate victor. In Pennsylvania, for example, our legal observers were not permitted meaningful access to watch the counting process. Legal votes decide who is president, not the news media.

Beginning Monday, our campaign will start prosecuting our case in court to ensure election laws are fully upheld and the rightful winner is seated. The American People are entitled to an honest election: that means counting all legal ballots, and not counting any illegal ballots. This is the only way to ensure the public has full confidence in our election. It remains shocking that the Biden campaign refuses to agree with this basic principle and wants ballots counted even if they are fraudulent, manufactured, or cast by ineligible or deceased voters. Only a party engaged in wrongdoing would unlawfully keep observers out of the count room – and then fight in court to block their access.

So what is Biden hiding? I will not rest until the American People have the honest vote count they deserve and that Democracy demands.

– President Donald J. Trump

hey thanks all you Europeans for all your love and compassion

luv 2 b patronised

lol sorry I’m wildin

I feel somber relief. Like it can never be normal again.

Nothing like 08, when i had optimism. But i am truly glad others are stoked. I want that, too.

OMG he referenced the horse in hospital bit, dying

loooooooool

Trump didn’t make it as a SXSW Artist but wants you to please come check out this unofficial midday show he’s playing across town https://t.co/vA2ZnHgHL8

— Ian Cunningham (@iancunn) November 7, 2020

Amazingly...this is true:

And on the 25th anniversary of Liquid Swords, too. pic.twitter.com/hhtsz98WWf

— Christina the Middle Aged Witch 👻 (@ChristinaMcMc) November 7, 2020

per a homie:
Went to buy champagne. The guy at the liquor store, on seeing my Stacey Abrams shirt:
“Go vote in the runoff!”

Me: “oh you know i am. I’m volunteering too”

Later, when i has to show him my receipt before I left:

“You coulda stolen something and I wouldn’t mind”

I was about to start parsing that trump statement (who actually wrote it, what does it mean, etc.) and then I realised it doesn’t matter jahahahahjaja

It means covfefe

Biden should give a victory speech and end it by strongly implying that he’s Q

— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) November 6, 2020

It's like yr mom finally kicked your abusive stepfather out on his bullshit ass.

Trump could never turn his face into a heart

Okay that's a deep cut.

haha stevie

Congrats to Frackin' Joe and his cop sidekick!

/Morbs

oh I am totally ready to start holding Biden's feet to the fire

you lie like a kite, stevie!

CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH how hard it is to beat an incumbent president in modern history.

In US history, only an avg. 30% of presidents have gone two terms. Since Reagan, until now, it was 80%.

Only George H.W. Bush was defeated.

And now Trump.

— Lisa Desjardins (@LisaDNews) November 7, 2020