I would EXCELSIOR, but I haven't got a ZING to LOL

secondhand Ned lark

let me have this

Sh@kedown Needs Lolz

I do!

lol ok fine

epistantophus
Posted: November 5, 2020 at 7:27:57 PM

_I feel like this is a Twilight Zone ep where we keep being told moer voets, and moer voets are coming, and the voets never come, and nobody ever wins, and nobody ever loses, and we are perennially in this election forever as time becomes a loop_

Every day they will count exactly half the remaining votes.

But the follow-up is key:

Every day they will count exactly half the remaining votes.

― epistantophus

trump, putting the zeno in xenophobia

― like, I’m eating an elephant head (katherine)

Haha I was just copying that and getting ready to paste it but I’m too slow on my phone.

Follow-up was a fucking masterstroke, well done katherine!

It really is an epic one-two punch of excelsiority and I am not sure how it can be bested in our lifetimes

It really is an epic one-two punch of excelsiority and I am not sure how it can be bested in our lifetimes

Close thread

fabulous

The smile was broad at that one

Biden up 5k in PA

Whoops, apologies, but lol anyway

antici

― reggie (qualmsley), Thursday, November 5, 2020 2:05 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

(900+ posts later)

PAtion

― reggie (qualmsley), Friday, November 6, 2020 9:34 AM (thirty-nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

can we have a separate US Election excelsior thread please

pip pip

imago doing a half-decent markers impersonation

Abolish the Excelsior Police

lol it as you see it

if we're doing this can we also get a separate obituary thread for the "stars" of british sitcoms, it feels like four people named ian craig-fellows who were in "bosom manor" and "the postmaster general" die every week

Not Ian Craig-Fellows!!

Losing my shit at “bosom manor”

an essay by w makepeace thackeray

if we're doing this can we also get a separate obituary thread for the "stars" of british sitcoms, it feels like four people named ian craig-fellows who were in "bosom manor" and "the postmaster general" die every week

― na (NA), Friday, November 6, 2020 8:04 AM (forty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Legit crying tears over 'Bosom Manor'

I watched Bosom Manor with my parents on PBS every week ... don't laugh!

I came back and saw my own post and then saw your post and now I'm crying laughing again.

it is fantastic

Aide: Four Seasons booked for press conference
Giuliani: Yeah, I'd like to suck on some of that!
Aide: o_O
<Rudy follows GPS, realizes it's Four Seasons Landscaping and not Four Seasons Hotel>
Giuliani: Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Saturday, November 7, 2020

playin the hits

giving thanks for 'bosom manor'

Genuinely can't tell if this is sarcasm.

I’m so looking forward to coming back to an America free of harsh words and name calling and be amongst people who I know have common ground and harmony. It’s a challenge but it can be done!
— Mick Jagger (@MickJagger) November 7, 2020

― but also fuck you (unperson), Saturday, November 7, 2020 4:50 PM (four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

but what's puzzling you is the nature of his game

― treeship., Saturday, November 7, 2020 4:53 PM

hahahahahaha way to go treesh!

As I wrote in the celebration thread, I hope every day that he pulls a Bud Dwyer.

― healthy cocaine off perfect butts (the table is the table), Sunday, November 8, 2020 7:41 AM (fifty minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

With a golf club.

― pomenitul, Sunday, November 8, 2020 7:42 AM (forty-nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

that's why I say "hey man, nice putt"

― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Sunday, November 8, 2020 7:58 AM (thirty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

hahahaha

quality filter lol

Elsewhere I recall reading 15 million doses for the US market by end-2020. I anticipate we'll have stories about black market vaccines (diverted from health care workers and retirement homes) by February.

― Advanced Doomscroller (Sanpaku), Monday, November 9, 2020 9:05 AM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

AHEM

AFRICAN-AMERICAN market vaccines, THANK YOU

― DJP, Monday, November 9, 2020 9:06 AM

lol

I’m not a fan of the trump administration but there’s no need to go full big pharma libertarian in response to this news. Big pharma is a hugely subsidised and morally bankrupt industry.

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Monday, November 9, 2020 7:25 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

If the government buying stuff that doesn’t exist and hasn’t been tested isn’t a public private partnership then I don’t know what is.

I think this is called a kickstarter

― Muswell Hillbilly Elegy (President Keyes), Monday, November 9, 2020 7:38 AM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

It's like Amanda Palmer but a vaccine

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Monday, November 9, 2020 7:39 AM (two hours ago)

good streak

"There could be a million Americans dead by then under his watch" ok, yeah, probably not; maybe tamper down the hyperbole a bit Mary.

https://i.imgur.com/ba8bRwL.png

we are at around 1000 deaths a day again, on average, and it's only going to go up, unless half the country suddenly realizes that they're fucking morons. we are about 70 days away from inauguration day. that's 700,000 additional deaths, plus the ~230K deaths that have already occurred.

so yeah, there could be a million Americans dead by then.

― @oneposter(✔️) (Karl Malone), Monday, November 9, 2020 3:56 PM bookmarkflaglink

i've had to convince myself to stop monitoring it so often today cos I'll be back in the morass I was before the election. but it's hard

xpost that would be 70,000 deaths

― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Monday, November 9, 2020 3:57 PM bookmarkflaglink

oh wait, i don't know math and i suck. 70* 1000 is 70 fucking thousand

sorry. and tone down that hyperbole mary!

― @oneposter(✔️) (Karl Malone), Monday, November 9, 2020 3:58 PM bookmarkflaglink

this is where i pivot to video

― @oneposter(✔️) (Karl Malone), Monday, November 9, 2020 3:58 PM bookmarkflaglink

what a disaster for basic month

I did in fact lol at that, kudos KM

what a disaster for basic month

? i believe this was supposed to be basic math.

always good to call half the country "fucking morons" before being way off on basic month

A basic month is one that drinks pumpkin spice lattes and wears Uggs, right?

november is so basic

the Tuesday of months

tiny payback for your comedic riches Neando

Just because:

"Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley asked Aunt Petunia dully
"I'll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I'm not there," said Harry dully.
"How many monsters d'you think this place can hold?" Ron asked dully.
Dully, Harry turned it over
"Madam Pomfrey fixed him best she could," said Hagrid dully
“Balderdash,” said Harry dully.
“Great,” said Harry dully
Well, it might be easier to get past a dragon if he were a ferret, Harry thought dully
“Quidditch,” he said dully
“Fairy lights” he said dully
“I asked her to go with me just now,” Harry said dully
“Dunno,” Harry said dully
“No,” said Sirius dully
“I’ve told you,” Harry repeated dully
They bowed clumsily, muttering dully
And all the while, his scar burned dully
There you go, Sirius, Harry though dully
“Fine” said Harry dully
Some of them had broken windows, glimmering dully
Harry wondered dully
“Well I tried,” she said dully
“Well,” said Angelina dully
“Yeah, I suppose you’d better,” said Harry dully.
They glimmered dully
An ornate letter S, inlaid with many small green stones, glinted dully

(All but the last are from the first five books, maybe one bit of editing advice finally got through)

― organ doner (ledge), Wednesday, November 29, 2023 3:18 AM (thirteen hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

dully noted

― Boris Yitsbin (wins), Wednesday, November 29, 2023 3:22 AM (twelve hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

lol

wins is a poacher with these lols, need to sign him to LOLverhampton

Not dullitch?

Dullbulbore

in another world, Tom Swifties would be known, confusingly, as Tom Dullys

Dull Kierlea

seeing some clips from this and it looks like Chappelle is straight up a Jeff Dunham-level comedian now. obviously there's no one like this here but do those who actually love the anti-trans shit actually think this shit is funny? it's like the same variations of the One Joke that boomers have been making for decades now

― frogbs, Tuesday, January 2, 2024 10:22 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglin

If I boot this up and see no puppets, I'm going to be very disappointed in you, frogs.

― pplains, Tuesday, January 2, 2024 10:36 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

the puppets are in the audience, man

― frogbs, Tuesday, January 2, 2024 10:45 AM (fifty-six minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink