i feel like my dorito-licking experience is the anti-matter of that cheesepuff and the powder protectors.
once every four or five years i repeat this gross story, but i used to lick off all the cheese on doritos, on both sides, and then stack up the dried carcasses of doritos in a plate. i'd stack them up dozens high, or however many doritos come in a small bag. this is all in a cafeteria in high school, btw. anyways, i'd stack up the dried out, cheeseless, doritos, then at the end of lunch, i'd crunch down on the entire gross dorito tower at the same time. they were so hollowed out that it would all squish down to one really gross, mouth-sized thing.
anyway, my cheeseless, soul-less doritos were the antimatter of that fresh cheesepuff above. and the way i treated those doritos - seeking only to extract the precious cheese powders, before obliterating the remains as a matter of showbiz - is the antimatter of using plastic to keep the cheesepowder away from the body
― just another 3-pinnochio post by (Karl Malone), Friday, 30 October 2020 23:58 (five years ago)
if stephen king ever runs out of ideas, you've got a doozy to pitch him
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Saturday, 31 October 2020 00:43 (five years ago)
The Withdrawing of the Cheese
― OrificeMax (Old Lunch), Saturday, 31 October 2020 01:38 (five years ago)
km that is horrifying
― error prone wolf syndicate (Hadrian VIII), Saturday, 31 October 2020 02:27 (five years ago)
also I briefly misread that this is something you do every 4 or 5 years
― error prone wolf syndicate (Hadrian VIII), Saturday, 31 October 2020 02:28 (five years ago)
at the stroke of midnight
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Saturday, 31 October 2020 02:45 (five years ago)
what's amazing is at the time, i was also really struggling in the whole "relationship scene" and was always wondering why because i was a Nice Guy
― just another 3-pinnochio post by (Karl Malone), Saturday, 31 October 2020 03:09 (five years ago)
If only you could go back warn your younger self that it’s only the disgusting soggy dorito sandwiches preventing him from getting any
― error prone wolf syndicate (Hadrian VIII), Saturday, 31 October 2020 03:13 (five years ago)
if i appeared to myself, then, i have no doubt that i would not believe myself
― just another 3-pinnochio post by (Karl Malone), Saturday, 31 October 2020 03:41 (five years ago)
How could the random, middle-aged man who just walked in off the street, marched up to his cafeteria table and pulled the gluey Dorito bolus from inside his mouth be anyone but Future Self?
― error prone wolf syndicate (Hadrian VIII), Saturday, 31 October 2020 03:54 (five years ago)
what did you do with the resultant paste?
― assert (MatthewK), Saturday, 31 October 2020 04:23 (five years ago)
is this cursed?
Wtf is going on here? pic.twitter.com/bHi5NRppcy— Tim Hendricks (@Saltwatertattoo) November 5, 2020
― Four Seasons Total Manscaping (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 18:31 (five years ago)
most certainly
― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 18:58 (five years ago)
every bit as upsetting
jesus christ, this is from the same people that made this pic.twitter.com/mCXnLTPBdv— smiledoger (@smiledoger) November 5, 2020
I've watched these on repeat and still cannot truly answer wtf is going on
― Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 19:05 (five years ago)
wtf
― soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 19:06 (five years ago)
Based on the rapid decay of the simulation of late, I assume that these are just mundane dispatches from our near future.
― Some dads are not YOUR dad (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 19:08 (five years ago)
every bit as upsetting🐦[jesus christ, this is from the same people that made this pic.twitter.com/mCXnLTPBdv🕸— smiledoger (@smiledoger) November 5, 2020🕸]🐦I've watched these on repeat and still cannot truly answer wtf is going on
― Ape Hole Road (Boring, Maryland), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 19:10 (five years ago)
the commonalities (crustaceans, knock-off nikes, sock stands, white colloids) are just vexing
― Four Seasons Total Manscaping (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 19:17 (five years ago)
https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2019-11/11/22/asset/f5acba8d2816/anigif_sub-buzz-1108-1573510965-1_preview.gif?output-quality=auto&output-format=auto&downsize=360:*
― Some dads are not YOUR dad (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 19:20 (five years ago)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuzqFQAE1As
― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 19:21 (five years ago)
lol OL
― soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 19:36 (five years ago)
Pretty sure the same person made both videos, but still...
― Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 20:35 (five years ago)
sock stands,
if those are a real thing then I may be confusedisturbed in a different way than previous
― @oneposter (⛰️) (sic), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 20:56 (five years ago)
yeah this is unpackably disturbing in a way that requires me not thinking abt it because headache
― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 21:04 (five years ago)
https://bestcompressionsockssale.com/products/easy-on-easy-off-sock-aid-kit
― Four Seasons Total Manscaping (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 11 November 2020 21:12 (five years ago)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CHeAwg3geSw/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
― American Fear of Scampos (Ed), Thursday, 12 November 2020 01:57 (five years ago)
https://www.instagram.com/p/CHiJ_dNn2u1/
― timber euros (seandalai), Saturday, 14 November 2020 00:49 (five years ago)
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/8a/fc/4c/8afc4c18a9ecde6fb7918bcec2f0264d.jpg
― Some dads are not YOUR dad (Old Lunch), Saturday, 14 November 2020 03:36 (five years ago)
https://scontent-ams4-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p526x296/125925882_190035526042348_7403252522231407771_n.jpg
(credit where credit is due, via esteemed ilxor Stevie Nixed on fb)
― A Scampo Darkly (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 17 November 2020 10:50 (five years ago)
https://i.imgur.com/csyOLId.jpg
― A Scampo Darkly (Le Bateau Ivre), Tuesday, 17 November 2020 10:51 (five years ago)
Let no condiment be un-beered!
https://www.oskarblues.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Mustard-Beer-Can-Render-1.png
― nickn, Tuesday, 17 November 2020 17:28 (five years ago)
Beer in the new error
― soaring skrrrtpeggios (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 17 November 2020 17:29 (five years ago)
And it's a real thing (or a very well constructed joke).
https://www.oskarblues.com/beer/frenchs-mustard-beer/
― nickn, Tuesday, 17 November 2020 17:30 (five years ago)
this mural inside an LA boutique is the most cursed thing ever made pic.twitter.com/mxx3XQOR6Q— #1 Rachel (@rachel) November 21, 2020
― mookieproof, Saturday, 21 November 2020 20:01 (five years ago)
this but with giuliani shoes
― mark s, Saturday, 21 November 2020 21:48 (five years ago)
https://i.imgur.com/mh5IxyL.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/uuG6DMH.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/PhMeM40.jpg
― pplains, Sunday, 22 November 2020 01:17 (five years ago)
https://i.imgur.com/ug0Pi1z.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/bn5xFcQ.jpg
― pplains, Sunday, 22 November 2020 01:19 (five years ago)
wow yeah that's a heavy hitter
― fleet doxes (map), Sunday, 22 November 2020 01:31 (five years ago)
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EnTpXEfWEAAxhbk?format=jpg&name=large
Is that cover art for the new Justice album?
― Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Sunday, 22 November 2020 02:52 (five years ago)
lol
― pomenitul, Sunday, 22 November 2020 02:53 (five years ago)
https://i.imgur.com/NSwcv21.jpg
― pplains, Sunday, 22 November 2020 03:54 (five years ago)
Oof
― You will notice a small sink where your sofa once was. (Old Lunch), Sunday, 22 November 2020 04:00 (five years ago)
https://static01.nyt.com/images/2020/02/29/business/00russia-themepark--15/merlin_168713580_6bd5ff36-2cf2-4c34-bc87-87c49af21e51-superJumbo.jpg?quality=90&auto=webp
― Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Sunday, 22 November 2020 05:03 (five years ago)
how the fuck is this real pic.twitter.com/6hVuJAjcoW— Andrea Russett (@AndreaRussett) November 4, 2020
― the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Monday, 23 November 2020 16:59 (five years ago)
🐦[how the fuck is this real pic.twitter.com/6hVuJAjcoW🕸— Andrea Russett (@AndreaRussett) November 4, 2020🕸]🐦
― Ape Hole Road (Boring, Maryland), Monday, 23 November 2020 21:59 (five years ago)
Article on the LA boutique mural posted Saturday.
https://laist.com/2020/11/22/internet_twitter_mural_venice_democrats_women_obama_harris_ginsburg_warren_aoc_pelosi.php
― nickn, Tuesday, 24 November 2020 06:52 (five years ago)
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EoGb5qXXcAMnYRZ?format=jpg&name=small
― cosmic vision | bleak epiphany | erotic email (map), Monday, 30 November 2020 21:10 (five years ago)
https://en.bitcoinwiki.org/upload/en/images/thumb/4/42/Marc_And.jpg/350px-Marc_And.jpg
― mookieproof, Monday, 30 November 2020 21:33 (five years ago)
walked in the forest yesterday and found a single burnt Challah bread in the middle of the woods pic.twitter.com/yA1es2ytCy— 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐭 (@banditVEVO) December 6, 2020
― cosmic vision | bleak epiphany | erotic email (map), Tuesday, 8 December 2020 02:13 (five years ago)